Fuck verisimilitude...what about real life?
I just watched the Motorcycle Diaries tonight. What brilliant movie. I want to be a revolutionary now. Or at least extraordinary. I was talking to Heather H. today, and we got to talking about how worried we were for our future. Will we be happy? Will we be married with kids in ten years? Will we marry assholes who sit on said assholes all day while we run around barefoot and pregnant? You know, the general morbidity like that. It just goes to show you that worrying really doesn't solve anything. All this week, people have been saying, "I'll miss you when we graduate," or "You can't graduate, Dawn Marie." But truthfully, I want to move on. I need to move on. This stifled, limited little world of mine is too small to breathe in anymore. There's a world so much bigger out there, a world of innumerable strife and wonder, and I need to see it. I have to go out there and really live. I want to go out and go to college and meet people and fall in love and so many things. Love...to love someone who loves me back. I think that would be worth all the petty quibbles of the we're-just-friends guys and the neglect of past loves. Love. I feel as though my heart is caving in on itself, torn from the strain of useless loves and unrequited affection. The lack of affection. All things converge to make me feel so lonely nowadays. But what does it matter? One day, all of this will be so small in comparison. High school will pale into the backdrop of my life. I'm ready for that liberation. I'm ready to be free again.