Evening Humor
50 Things To Do In A Public Toilet
1. Comment "Pooh, who did that?"
2. Complement people on their shoes.
3. Introduce yourself to the person in the next stall. Strike up a conversation.
4. Provide 'strenuous' sound-effects.
5. Ask the person in the next stall if there's anything swimming in THEIR bowl.....
6. Discuss the pros and cons of laxatives.
7. Scream "Oh my GOD! What the hell is THAT?"
8. Simulate a drug deal.
9. Pretend to fall in (with appropriate sound effects).
10. Roll Easter Eggs under the doors.
11. Start a sing-a-long.
12. Act schizophrenically.
13. Knock on the doors of occupied stalls and ask if there is anyone in there. If so, ask if they are busy....
14. Masquerade as a door-to-door salesman.
15. Ask loudly "When does the movie start?"
16. Write 'nerdy' graffiti like "Please wash your hands. Thank you."
17. Kick in stall doors, camera in hand.
18. Pour water over the stall door onto occupant.
19. Say "Oops.... missed" while syringing water out around the bowl and under the walls and door into other stalls.
20. Fake an orgasm.
21. At night, switch off the lights.
22. Run around naked yelling "Where's the fish?"
23. Collect a door charge.
24. Ask "Is there a doctor in the house?"
25. Impersonate Elvis. Be convincing.
26. Ask whether anyone can see your pet sewer rat/river python.
27. Write essay questions on the toilet paper.
28. Put cling-film (Glad Wrap) over the toilet bowl.
29. Offer refreshments.
30. Replace rolls of toilet paper with rolls of sand paper.
31. Run in, yelling "Free Willy!"
32. Charge admission.
33. Electrify metal urinals.
34. Leave a ladle in the toilet bowl.
35. One word: GOLDFISH.
36. Make a Jell-O in the bowl.
37. Place a sign advertising "Driver's side airbags" as standard.
38. Remove stall doors.
39. Glue seat and cover down to bowl.
40. Place signs warning of 24 hour video surveillance.
41. Make stall doors lockable only from the OUTSIDE.
42. Put itching powder on the toilet seats.
43. Leave a fried egg floating in the bowl.
44. Replace soap in dispenser with custard.
45. Completely soak the towel in the towel dispenser, or the paper towels if available.
46. Make kitty litter trays that fit into toilet bowls. Install.
47. Replace condoms in vending machine with tampons (or vice versa).
48. In one stall, attach the toilet bowl to roof.
49. Create a crime scene complete with police tape and chalk silhouette.
50. Do your business.