(no subject)
so i finally broke down. i thought i would be alright, but i knew this would come sooner or later. I thought college wasnt for me and i didnt want to go, so i didnt sign up for sat's act's psp's htt's, whatever. i didnt apply anywhere, and its not like i know how. I thank my mother for never pushing me to do anything, for always letting me quit, never making me do something she thought was good for me. thanks mom.
now all my friends are leaving me and being smart and going on with their lives with college and degrees in whatever. and what am i doing? nothing, squat, fucking nothing. i want to do something, but im so far gone with this whole school shit i wouldnt know where to start. i dont want an average life, to have a stupid ass job. i want something that will make me so happy. My dream is never going to happen, so many people have the same dream as me what is so special about myself that i could make it. Im not special, i dont know why i thought i had something in me that made me stand out, cause there isnt anything. There are so many people out there that are prettier, taller, more in shape, nicer, cuter, anything-er.
im a lazy, bum, a nothing.
now all my friends are leaving me and being smart and going on with their lives with college and degrees in whatever. and what am i doing? nothing, squat, fucking nothing. i want to do something, but im so far gone with this whole school shit i wouldnt know where to start. i dont want an average life, to have a stupid ass job. i want something that will make me so happy. My dream is never going to happen, so many people have the same dream as me what is so special about myself that i could make it. Im not special, i dont know why i thought i had something in me that made me stand out, cause there isnt anything. There are so many people out there that are prettier, taller, more in shape, nicer, cuter, anything-er.
im a lazy, bum, a nothing.