when you smile that smile.
i just want this for my own personal records
the actual entry is at the end.
and it's about ryan so if you'd like, feel free to skip this sappy entry entirely.
when i try and stop to think about ryan and i's relationship my head spins in two sort of directions.
one, how different this seems and how much better that is.
a relationship first and sex second are making a world of difference.
i never feel like he's using me, or that's the only thing he's trying to get out of me.
i don't feel rushed to tell him i love him or feel that way.
we're about four months in, three officially.
this is the time that many couples begin to get the "i love you" bug.
but in my experience i've then had to grow into the idea.
not with ryan though. i told him tonight that i'm beginning to fall for him.
i was nervous to but i wanted him to know where i was at. i left him a note on his computer. i couldn't say it out loud.
and he told me that he was liking me more and more.
AH seriously, this pace is so nice. we always tell each other "slow and steady" with a smile.
it's our way of acknowledging these couples that go breakneck speed. they fall fast and hard and have intense relationships and burn out.
ryan and i seem to be in this for the long haul. we talk about summer (he changed his work schedule and agreed to work local this SUMMER in part b/c of me), about football games next season.
but the issue of a future isn't that pressing upon us. we'll get there when we get there, this journey is quite nice in and of itself.
two, everything we've already been through
and there's been so much in these past almost four (time flies) months.
the 'friend' cuddling in the beginning. sneaking out and sleeping over.
we get to know each other, we talk so much. the time we spend together is most often quality time. we laugh and play silly games and watch movies.
it's normal couple stuff but it seems like, quality time. time well spent. moving on..
we've very nearly broken up. we've slowed this down, and slowed our emotions down.
we've made the concious decision to respect ourselves enough to wait, because that's what is right for our relationship.
i've met his family, got in good with his parents.
today we put up the christmas tree with his mom. it was so fun, not kidding.
he makes me laugh when i'm upset, and he can make me more upset than anyone in the same day.
i'm not saying it's perfect. i'm saying that so far, it's working well, and i hope it continues to.
i don't know how i got so lucky, but i hope i'm lucky enough to keep him.
the actual entry is at the end.
and it's about ryan so if you'd like, feel free to skip this sappy entry entirely.
when i try and stop to think about ryan and i's relationship my head spins in two sort of directions.
one, how different this seems and how much better that is.
a relationship first and sex second are making a world of difference.
i never feel like he's using me, or that's the only thing he's trying to get out of me.
i don't feel rushed to tell him i love him or feel that way.
we're about four months in, three officially.
this is the time that many couples begin to get the "i love you" bug.
but in my experience i've then had to grow into the idea.
not with ryan though. i told him tonight that i'm beginning to fall for him.
i was nervous to but i wanted him to know where i was at. i left him a note on his computer. i couldn't say it out loud.
and he told me that he was liking me more and more.
AH seriously, this pace is so nice. we always tell each other "slow and steady" with a smile.
it's our way of acknowledging these couples that go breakneck speed. they fall fast and hard and have intense relationships and burn out.
ryan and i seem to be in this for the long haul. we talk about summer (he changed his work schedule and agreed to work local this SUMMER in part b/c of me), about football games next season.
but the issue of a future isn't that pressing upon us. we'll get there when we get there, this journey is quite nice in and of itself.
two, everything we've already been through
and there's been so much in these past almost four (time flies) months.
the 'friend' cuddling in the beginning. sneaking out and sleeping over.
we get to know each other, we talk so much. the time we spend together is most often quality time. we laugh and play silly games and watch movies.
it's normal couple stuff but it seems like, quality time. time well spent. moving on..
we've very nearly broken up. we've slowed this down, and slowed our emotions down.
we've made the concious decision to respect ourselves enough to wait, because that's what is right for our relationship.
i've met his family, got in good with his parents.
today we put up the christmas tree with his mom. it was so fun, not kidding.
he makes me laugh when i'm upset, and he can make me more upset than anyone in the same day.
i'm not saying it's perfect. i'm saying that so far, it's working well, and i hope it continues to.
i don't know how i got so lucky, but i hope i'm lucky enough to keep him.