My chin is bringin' sexy back
Had quite the eventful offseason and start to spring trainin', yessir. Giles and Rochey is gone, as we all know. And may I just say, I'm so glad USA Today printed this article about them crazy Gileses. You can't make stuff like that up, y'all. I spent six years on the same team as that crazy little imp. It's all true. He is a leg-humpin', body-shavin', nudist weirdo. And you know what? I'll miss him. He may have been a freak, but he played his little ass off and he brought an element of fun to the team I think we'll miss. I'll miss Rochey and his ADD-havin' ass too. We'd room together sometimes, and as much as his damn mechanical toy bull got on my nerves, the dude was alright.
Tell you what, though, I been tellin' everyone we got a good team this year. 'Course I say that every year, and maybe all the cheeseburgers and beer I consumed durin' the offseason is cloggin' my brain pathways, but dang if I don't think we got another shot this year. My foot's feelin' good, my abs is feelin' arright. We shored up our bullpen, Hampton's thinkin' he might be okay. We got a shot y'all.
The one thing I still ain't figgered out is Smoltzy gettin' a divorce. That one came outta left field at me, and as you can imagine he's pretty tight-lipped 'bout it. 'Course Heap's takin' it kinda hard, as he always does when his hero takes a knock. I'll get to the bottom of this thing yet, I swear I will.
Tell you what, though, I been tellin' everyone we got a good team this year. 'Course I say that every year, and maybe all the cheeseburgers and beer I consumed durin' the offseason is cloggin' my brain pathways, but dang if I don't think we got another shot this year. My foot's feelin' good, my abs is feelin' arright. We shored up our bullpen, Hampton's thinkin' he might be okay. We got a shot y'all.
The one thing I still ain't figgered out is Smoltzy gettin' a divorce. That one came outta left field at me, and as you can imagine he's pretty tight-lipped 'bout it. 'Course Heap's takin' it kinda hard, as he always does when his hero takes a knock. I'll get to the bottom of this thing yet, I swear I will.