(no subject)
I just turned 29. One more year to go and I will be 30. I can't believe I'm almost 30, it feels like yesterday I was 18. Time defintely flys by, thats for sure.
I was layed off from my job in August. I worked for them for 11 years, and now I'm unemployed. They decided to shut us down and ship everything off to California and China. As much as I hated that job, I have to admit, I miss my comfort zone. Eleven years is a long time to be at a job...especially if it's the only "adult" job you've ever had. So here I am, starting new...my slate has been swiped clean. I'm a statistic now, part of the increasing # of people in the workforce, layed off--collecting unemployment.
I'm back in school. I'm in the nursing program after a 5 year hiatus from college. It was rough at first getting reaclimated to the classes, but I'm doing good in my classes. One of my classes, Anatomy & Physiology 1, is by far the hardest class I've ever taken in my high school and college career. The experience alone has humbled me. I've never felt "dumb" in a class until then. I had to step up my game and admit to myself that the only way I was going to pass this class is if I studied my ass off. I'm still struggling, but I'm passing. The more classes I have, the more I feel like it's starting to clique again...like my brain is starting to process things easier. I'm focused and determined to make this work...I'm not getting any younger.
Stress is playing a huge role in my life right now. I'm worried about money, being unemployed, and having no health insurance. I can't help but feel depressed sometimes. I know I'm back in school and planning for the future, but in my present situation it leaves me feeling very vulnerable. I try not to linger on it, but I have my moments. Moments where I just want to find the darkest room possible, hide in the corner, and have a good cry. I try to stay optimistic. Everything happens for a reason. All I have to do now, is find my way.
I am officially bald now. I started losing my hair in my early twenties, and very rapidly it all went away. I'm the only bald person in my family. Everyone else has full heads of thick hair. I feel like I was robbed. Something was taken away from me and I had no choice in the matter. I never really felt sorry for bald people before, never really thought about it, until it happened to me. I miss putting my hands through my hair, looking in the mirror, styling and putting product in it...the good ole days. However, I do save alot of money on not having to buy hair products and getting my hair cut. I just take clippers and shave it down to the lowest setting. I never have to worry about my hair falling when it's too humid out or even how it looks from walking in from the wind. So it's not really that bad. Luckily, I have a good head shape for a bald guy, and everyone seems to like it. I have to admit though if i'm wearing a hat and take it off, some people are shocked when they see there is no hair up there. I immediatly age myself a good 5 years when I'm not wearing a hat. I'm not the "young" one anymore. I'm almost a thirty something.
I haven't dated anyone in over two years. I really do feel like I'm meant to be single. As much as I love being in a relationship, they just never seem to work for me. I think some people are meant to be with that someone special. I've never thought it was in the cards for me, no matter how badly I wanted it. I'm just a loner by nature, I don't need to have someone to survive...it's just not in my makeup. My friends make up for that void that is missing, and it's always seemed to work for me. I'd be lying to myself if I said, I would be ok if I never met the right person. I would love for that too happen, but after being in the dating game for about 12 years now and dealing with all the emotional baggage of gay men, I'm settling on only making myself happy. I'm an old soul who believes in monogamy. If you're a gay man, it is almost impossible to have a monogamous relationship. It seems they either cheat on each other or have an open relationship. I've never cheated on anyone and I refuse to be in an open relationship. It works for most people it seems, but it's just not my thing. Less drama involved, the better.
I was layed off from my job in August. I worked for them for 11 years, and now I'm unemployed. They decided to shut us down and ship everything off to California and China. As much as I hated that job, I have to admit, I miss my comfort zone. Eleven years is a long time to be at a job...especially if it's the only "adult" job you've ever had. So here I am, starting new...my slate has been swiped clean. I'm a statistic now, part of the increasing # of people in the workforce, layed off--collecting unemployment.
I'm back in school. I'm in the nursing program after a 5 year hiatus from college. It was rough at first getting reaclimated to the classes, but I'm doing good in my classes. One of my classes, Anatomy & Physiology 1, is by far the hardest class I've ever taken in my high school and college career. The experience alone has humbled me. I've never felt "dumb" in a class until then. I had to step up my game and admit to myself that the only way I was going to pass this class is if I studied my ass off. I'm still struggling, but I'm passing. The more classes I have, the more I feel like it's starting to clique again...like my brain is starting to process things easier. I'm focused and determined to make this work...I'm not getting any younger.
Stress is playing a huge role in my life right now. I'm worried about money, being unemployed, and having no health insurance. I can't help but feel depressed sometimes. I know I'm back in school and planning for the future, but in my present situation it leaves me feeling very vulnerable. I try not to linger on it, but I have my moments. Moments where I just want to find the darkest room possible, hide in the corner, and have a good cry. I try to stay optimistic. Everything happens for a reason. All I have to do now, is find my way.
I am officially bald now. I started losing my hair in my early twenties, and very rapidly it all went away. I'm the only bald person in my family. Everyone else has full heads of thick hair. I feel like I was robbed. Something was taken away from me and I had no choice in the matter. I never really felt sorry for bald people before, never really thought about it, until it happened to me. I miss putting my hands through my hair, looking in the mirror, styling and putting product in it...the good ole days. However, I do save alot of money on not having to buy hair products and getting my hair cut. I just take clippers and shave it down to the lowest setting. I never have to worry about my hair falling when it's too humid out or even how it looks from walking in from the wind. So it's not really that bad. Luckily, I have a good head shape for a bald guy, and everyone seems to like it. I have to admit though if i'm wearing a hat and take it off, some people are shocked when they see there is no hair up there. I immediatly age myself a good 5 years when I'm not wearing a hat. I'm not the "young" one anymore. I'm almost a thirty something.
I haven't dated anyone in over two years. I really do feel like I'm meant to be single. As much as I love being in a relationship, they just never seem to work for me. I think some people are meant to be with that someone special. I've never thought it was in the cards for me, no matter how badly I wanted it. I'm just a loner by nature, I don't need to have someone to survive...it's just not in my makeup. My friends make up for that void that is missing, and it's always seemed to work for me. I'd be lying to myself if I said, I would be ok if I never met the right person. I would love for that too happen, but after being in the dating game for about 12 years now and dealing with all the emotional baggage of gay men, I'm settling on only making myself happy. I'm an old soul who believes in monogamy. If you're a gay man, it is almost impossible to have a monogamous relationship. It seems they either cheat on each other or have an open relationship. I've never cheated on anyone and I refuse to be in an open relationship. It works for most people it seems, but it's just not my thing. Less drama involved, the better.