Immobile Eden
Today is my sixth day in this hellhole of a paradise.
Aside from it being miserably hot, I'm also quite lonely. I've nothing to keep me going but my classes, and I find them rather unchallenging. I feel like a grad student stuck in an undergraduate degree--and I'm not trying to be presumptuous. The only way I've found I can make my classes remotely engaging is by monopolizing the teacher's office hours, and we all know how complicated that is and how messed up in the head it gets me that I keep doing that.
Nothing has changed here. It's still got all the stagnated beauty of a bleached blonde, fake-and-bake tanned, cologine and silicone pumped ditz. It's been hot as hell, and I still haven't received my bus sticker, so my transportation has been limited to my feet. Not that I would mind, normally, but carrying groceries back over a mile really sucks in this heat. It almost (almost) made me want to get a bicycle with a basket just to give my arms a break. I still have to buy cookware, and I've spent a bunch already. I have everything prepared to make enchiladas in a night or two though, so things should be good at some point later on.
Went to coffee with Νικομηδει, which was at once fun and disheartening. Fun because we talked each other's ear off--and not necessarily just talking shop. There were discussions of childhood traumas and funny anecdotes, embarrassing stories and lofty aspirations. Disheartening because it really was his office hours and it was just the same as what I'd left--the only difference being his hair, which I poked a bit of fun at as he's let it go to a frightful length and I'm jealous. We did a similar thing on Wednesday, which is also his office hours. I wish we'd meet sometime outside of class, but I don't think he'll be up to it any time soon.
I would say I have a rival in his class, but it's hardly a challenging interaction. Mostly I just get irritated by this girl (here on out referred to as Simplistique), and end up rebutting her grazing comments with in-depth analysis. Unfortunately, this is the most vocally intelligent person in the class, so I really wish the quiet people would speak up--talking with them I find they have wonderful ideas, but keep them all to themselves. So most of the time I just feel unchallenged and like I'm not learning anything, except for when I attend office hours, where I get fulfilling intellectual conversations with Νικομηδει, though I know that's an abuse of his office hours and quite selfish. However, most of the time I feel like a grad student trapped in an undergraduate degree, so it makes sense for me to be in deep discussion with other post-grads.
Maybe I can ask the department to give me a research project to keep me occupied.
We've apparently found the third and fourth person for the apartment, though they're not moved in yet. The other girl, Alex has moved in with me for the summer, and she's pretty chill. She's from Maine and here doing a research internship with the psychology department. I've since tried to register with the psych department for paid experiments. Hopefully something comes up soon.
I put up the map of London my dad gave me when we went down to his apartment to see the Red Sox/Padres game, and it makes me very sad. There's a little box on the left holding Hampstead Heath and the surrounding streets, including Finchley Road, Kidderpore Avenue, and Croft Way, targeting my old dorm. And Chaplin Close is dead center.
I feel very far away.
Aside from it being miserably hot, I'm also quite lonely. I've nothing to keep me going but my classes, and I find them rather unchallenging. I feel like a grad student stuck in an undergraduate degree--and I'm not trying to be presumptuous. The only way I've found I can make my classes remotely engaging is by monopolizing the teacher's office hours, and we all know how complicated that is and how messed up in the head it gets me that I keep doing that.
Nothing has changed here. It's still got all the stagnated beauty of a bleached blonde, fake-and-bake tanned, cologine and silicone pumped ditz. It's been hot as hell, and I still haven't received my bus sticker, so my transportation has been limited to my feet. Not that I would mind, normally, but carrying groceries back over a mile really sucks in this heat. It almost (almost) made me want to get a bicycle with a basket just to give my arms a break. I still have to buy cookware, and I've spent a bunch already. I have everything prepared to make enchiladas in a night or two though, so things should be good at some point later on.
Went to coffee with Νικομηδει, which was at once fun and disheartening. Fun because we talked each other's ear off--and not necessarily just talking shop. There were discussions of childhood traumas and funny anecdotes, embarrassing stories and lofty aspirations. Disheartening because it really was his office hours and it was just the same as what I'd left--the only difference being his hair, which I poked a bit of fun at as he's let it go to a frightful length and I'm jealous. We did a similar thing on Wednesday, which is also his office hours. I wish we'd meet sometime outside of class, but I don't think he'll be up to it any time soon.
I would say I have a rival in his class, but it's hardly a challenging interaction. Mostly I just get irritated by this girl (here on out referred to as Simplistique), and end up rebutting her grazing comments with in-depth analysis. Unfortunately, this is the most vocally intelligent person in the class, so I really wish the quiet people would speak up--talking with them I find they have wonderful ideas, but keep them all to themselves. So most of the time I just feel unchallenged and like I'm not learning anything, except for when I attend office hours, where I get fulfilling intellectual conversations with Νικομηδει, though I know that's an abuse of his office hours and quite selfish. However, most of the time I feel like a grad student trapped in an undergraduate degree, so it makes sense for me to be in deep discussion with other post-grads.
Maybe I can ask the department to give me a research project to keep me occupied.
We've apparently found the third and fourth person for the apartment, though they're not moved in yet. The other girl, Alex has moved in with me for the summer, and she's pretty chill. She's from Maine and here doing a research internship with the psychology department. I've since tried to register with the psych department for paid experiments. Hopefully something comes up soon.
I put up the map of London my dad gave me when we went down to his apartment to see the Red Sox/Padres game, and it makes me very sad. There's a little box on the left holding Hampstead Heath and the surrounding streets, including Finchley Road, Kidderpore Avenue, and Croft Way, targeting my old dorm. And Chaplin Close is dead center.
I feel very far away.