some boxes werent meant to be reopened.

[chinkerskool]

i think there is a reason we move on. i think there is something that compells us as people to look for comfort. however i think it is also within human nature to revisit the past whenever possible.

there is a reason we forget.
and a reason we let go.

i think i can let go of the issues that my mom brought up
i think now i can forgive her.

but that doesnt mean i haev to be decent. she deserves it. every last un-returned call.

i understand that it is within her nature to seek change.
it is in ms. wong's nature to inspire students through playful ridicule
and it is within mr. olin's nature to be tactless and disrespectful.

however i see now that all of these things are forgivable.
on the exception of mother dearest the intentions are in the right spot.

so when i box up this past week, and put it in the back of my shelf,
i feel comfortable in knowing that i wont ever feel the need to look back on it.

things will get worse, sure.
things will feel overloading, yes.
but they get better.

i tell myself this a lot now. its a great way to suppress rage, which helps a lot.
but now i always say it. is it getting better? or are my standards for normal lowering?