An Affair to Remember
Title: An Affair to Remember
Author: chinesetakeout
Pairing: Miyavi/Kai
Prompt: 6. a red balloon @ 15tokyo_nights
Summary: A good fling was all they had both been and once they both accepted that, Miyavi reasoned, their lives would be easier.
Rating: PG13
Genre: Romance/Angst
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: I don't own Gazette/MYV nor the song I got the title from.
Comments: For sillygoddess. Sorry it's taking me forever.
“I don’t… I don’t think this is going to work out,” Kai stated quietly, his fingers toying with a torn napkin, the white shreds falling upon the metal table that belonged to the café they were lounging at, the cheap linoleum covered by a nice-looking cloth, decorated with simple designs that passed as presentable.
Though his voice was quiet and the room loud from idle chatter around them, Kai couldn’t help but feel as though his voice had risen above them all, as though his words were louder than the rest despite the obvious fact that his words seemed hardly above a murmur. Still, he wasn’t surprised that Miyavi had heard him. Kai could never doubt Miyavi’s attentiveness when he really focused.
“Why not?” Miyavi replied, tone a strange accent from his Japanese-English speaking combination. He’d changed a lot from their last encounter, a fact that didn’t slip past Kai.
“We’ve got our busy schedules,” Kai stated lamely, knowing it was a stupid excuse - it wasn’t uncommon to at least see each other in the PSC building now-and-then.
“Mmm,” Miyavi responded, unconvinced. It wasn’t the first time someone had tried to pull one over him, make him think it was one thing when really the other. While Miyavi had always found it easy to decipher what the real cause was, Kai remained a mystery. To be sure they had their different schedules, their different bands, their different lives altogether, but that had never stopped relationships in the past amongst other people. Compromises always had to be made in a relationship, yet Kai seemed unwilling to make any. “I’m not as stupid as you take me for, Kai.”
Kai dropped the napkin from his hands, switching to place them in his lap instead, starting at Miyavi with as much seriousness as he could muster. It felt like there were hundreds of words on his tongue, tons of things he wanted to say, but attempting to convey them right seemed impossible without the right words. He chose to remain silent.
“But you’re not the first to treat me like an idiot,” Miyavi stated finally.
“That’s not it at all,” Kai said, voice raising shrilly, catching attention from the people around them. He smiled apologetically before lowering his voice, solely for Miyavi’s ears this time. “You know I’m not like that.”
“I thought I did,” Miyavi corrected, staring back at one man who refused to look away. Eventually the man gave up, Miyavi smirking in satisfaction. “But you’ve certainly proved me wrong.”
“I can’t explain it,” Kai confessed. Because, certainly, if he could explain his reasoning and logic, he'd have done it already.
“Doesn’t hurt to try,” Miyavi replied. He watched a mother lead her son out the door, a red balloon tied to his wrist. It was cute, for his mother had done the same thing in order to avoid him getting lost at large places. Ah, to be young and oblivious to the dangers of the world.
“Can’t we drop it?” Kai asked, nibbling on his lower lip.
“You said that over the phone last time we talked,” Miyavi reminded Kai unnecessarily. “If ‘us’ means this little to you, then this is all pointless, Kai.” Slipping crinkled yen papers from his pockets, he set them down, paying for the coffee he’d ordered. Miyavi was just as tired of ‘this’ as Kai was - ‘this’ being waiting around for something that wasn't going to happen. A good fling was all they had both been and once they both accepted that, Miyavi reasoned, their lives would be easier.
Unfortunately, his heart didn’t entirely agree with the logic that made perfect sense in his head. As he turned to leave, he paused at the door, giving Kai a split-second chance, a moment to stop him from walking out the door and turning them both in to complete strangers once again.
Kai didn’t stop Miyavi, watching in silence, fighting back the urge he had to get up out of his seat and speak up, to confess it all to Miyavi. It was easier said than done - Miyavi had his heart on a platter and he didn’t even know it. Love was scary, something big and serious, and something Kai knew he wasn’t ready for. If he wasn’t ready for it, it seemed cruel to make Miyavi wait around until he was.
In the two seconds that Miyavi paused at opening the door and walking out, he held Kai’s entire world. He didn't know he had to be the strong one out of the two of them, the one to turn back to Kai and said he didn’t mean it, that they really could talk things out for once. He simply didn't know, and because he didn't know, he took Kai's silence for indifference. He walked out the door without looking back, his body soon invisible from Kai's eyesight as the darkness engulfed his form.
When Miyavi walked out, the door closing quietly amongst the loud chatter, Kai was sure Miyavi had unknowingly walked out with Kai's heart in his hand. But when it came down to it, Kai wouldn’t have it any other way.
-------
I think I am the slowest writer on jrockyaoi/LJ. D:
I hope this font isn't too small, for those just reading from here... So far nobody has said anything, but I don't want to kill people's eyes with them having to squint to read. >3<
By the way, if you're ever stuck on a title for a fic, use itunes. :]
I just opened them up, and the title was just.. there. I couldn't help but think how fitting it sounded.
On top of that, this is two pages! :D I broke away from my usual one-page, hah. :]
Author: chinesetakeout
Pairing: Miyavi/Kai
Prompt: 6. a red balloon @ 15tokyo_nights
Summary: A good fling was all they had both been and once they both accepted that, Miyavi reasoned, their lives would be easier.
Rating: PG13
Genre: Romance/Angst
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: I don't own Gazette/MYV nor the song I got the title from.
Comments: For sillygoddess. Sorry it's taking me forever.
“I don’t… I don’t think this is going to work out,” Kai stated quietly, his fingers toying with a torn napkin, the white shreds falling upon the metal table that belonged to the café they were lounging at, the cheap linoleum covered by a nice-looking cloth, decorated with simple designs that passed as presentable.
Though his voice was quiet and the room loud from idle chatter around them, Kai couldn’t help but feel as though his voice had risen above them all, as though his words were louder than the rest despite the obvious fact that his words seemed hardly above a murmur. Still, he wasn’t surprised that Miyavi had heard him. Kai could never doubt Miyavi’s attentiveness when he really focused.
“Why not?” Miyavi replied, tone a strange accent from his Japanese-English speaking combination. He’d changed a lot from their last encounter, a fact that didn’t slip past Kai.
“We’ve got our busy schedules,” Kai stated lamely, knowing it was a stupid excuse - it wasn’t uncommon to at least see each other in the PSC building now-and-then.
“Mmm,” Miyavi responded, unconvinced. It wasn’t the first time someone had tried to pull one over him, make him think it was one thing when really the other. While Miyavi had always found it easy to decipher what the real cause was, Kai remained a mystery. To be sure they had their different schedules, their different bands, their different lives altogether, but that had never stopped relationships in the past amongst other people. Compromises always had to be made in a relationship, yet Kai seemed unwilling to make any. “I’m not as stupid as you take me for, Kai.”
Kai dropped the napkin from his hands, switching to place them in his lap instead, starting at Miyavi with as much seriousness as he could muster. It felt like there were hundreds of words on his tongue, tons of things he wanted to say, but attempting to convey them right seemed impossible without the right words. He chose to remain silent.
“But you’re not the first to treat me like an idiot,” Miyavi stated finally.
“That’s not it at all,” Kai said, voice raising shrilly, catching attention from the people around them. He smiled apologetically before lowering his voice, solely for Miyavi’s ears this time. “You know I’m not like that.”
“I thought I did,” Miyavi corrected, staring back at one man who refused to look away. Eventually the man gave up, Miyavi smirking in satisfaction. “But you’ve certainly proved me wrong.”
“I can’t explain it,” Kai confessed. Because, certainly, if he could explain his reasoning and logic, he'd have done it already.
“Doesn’t hurt to try,” Miyavi replied. He watched a mother lead her son out the door, a red balloon tied to his wrist. It was cute, for his mother had done the same thing in order to avoid him getting lost at large places. Ah, to be young and oblivious to the dangers of the world.
“Can’t we drop it?” Kai asked, nibbling on his lower lip.
“You said that over the phone last time we talked,” Miyavi reminded Kai unnecessarily. “If ‘us’ means this little to you, then this is all pointless, Kai.” Slipping crinkled yen papers from his pockets, he set them down, paying for the coffee he’d ordered. Miyavi was just as tired of ‘this’ as Kai was - ‘this’ being waiting around for something that wasn't going to happen. A good fling was all they had both been and once they both accepted that, Miyavi reasoned, their lives would be easier.
Unfortunately, his heart didn’t entirely agree with the logic that made perfect sense in his head. As he turned to leave, he paused at the door, giving Kai a split-second chance, a moment to stop him from walking out the door and turning them both in to complete strangers once again.
Kai didn’t stop Miyavi, watching in silence, fighting back the urge he had to get up out of his seat and speak up, to confess it all to Miyavi. It was easier said than done - Miyavi had his heart on a platter and he didn’t even know it. Love was scary, something big and serious, and something Kai knew he wasn’t ready for. If he wasn’t ready for it, it seemed cruel to make Miyavi wait around until he was.
In the two seconds that Miyavi paused at opening the door and walking out, he held Kai’s entire world. He didn't know he had to be the strong one out of the two of them, the one to turn back to Kai and said he didn’t mean it, that they really could talk things out for once. He simply didn't know, and because he didn't know, he took Kai's silence for indifference. He walked out the door without looking back, his body soon invisible from Kai's eyesight as the darkness engulfed his form.
When Miyavi walked out, the door closing quietly amongst the loud chatter, Kai was sure Miyavi had unknowingly walked out with Kai's heart in his hand. But when it came down to it, Kai wouldn’t have it any other way.
-------
I think I am the slowest writer on jrockyaoi/LJ. D:
I hope this font isn't too small, for those just reading from here... So far nobody has said anything, but I don't want to kill people's eyes with them having to squint to read. >3<
By the way, if you're ever stuck on a title for a fic, use itunes. :]
I just opened them up, and the title was just.. there. I couldn't help but think how fitting it sounded.
On top of that, this is two pages! :D I broke away from my usual one-page, hah. :]