[SJ] every romance is like a moving melody, Qmi, PG
I have fallen back into QMi so hard it has displaced KiHae as my OTP. Just in time for SJM comeback! This is deeply, deeply inspired by this (part 1) and this (part 2) fanvid. Also by a convo with mardigrasmaven about how much we both love MiChul and how fierce Heechul is about protecting the ones he loves. Happy Valentine's! ♥
every romance is like a moving melody
Super Junior (M), Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun (Heechul, Sungmin), PG, 3675 words
A relationship is never just about the two people in them. Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun's is no exception.
But when confronted with the two biggest opportunities with the most life-changing possibilities - credit had to go where credit was due. Zhou Mi said yes to SM. And he said yes to Kyuhyun - or at least to that chance.'>
Heechul had a type. He liked the ones who appeared good-natured and unassuming but who, with a little deeper prodding, revealed a hidden streak of deviousness that meant they weren't afraid to tell Heechul off. Maybe it said something about Heechul that he liked people who could call him on his outrageousness, who could insult him to his face. With a grin.
Regardless of why, Heechul had a type and he knew it. Zhou Mi was as far from that type as you could get, awkward and earnest and sincere through and through. Heechul smiled when they were introduced because it was Hankyung standing between the two of them but was ready to dismiss Zhou Mi as soon as he turned his back.
Turned out Heechul had another type.
Turned out Heechul had a thing for persecuted Chinese boys who grit their teeth and threw themselves into their training, who spoke in halting, accented Korean and rapidfire Mandarin.
The people who got under Heechul's breezy, sarcastic persona were not a few. The people who got under his skin, though - those were the rare ones Heechul would go to bat for (metaphorically because, well, let's be realistic about Heechul's athletic prowess) with an intensity that tended to frighten the younger trainees. Sometimes even his fellow bandmates. Heechul thought secretly it was one of his best qualities, hidden beneath his public flair.
"Seasoning," Heechul said as they were changing, the last ones in the dressing room, "tell me if anything happens, okay?" He didn't bother voicing the threat that would follow because Zhou Mi knew him well enough by now to read it off his face with that quick glance.
"It's okay, Heechul-hyung," Zhou Mi said, smiling. "It can be hard but I will be okay."
Heechul pulled on his jacket with a jerk. "Don't be an idiot. Tell me." He scowled. "Let me tell you about the rules of Kim Heechul's favorites: only I get to mess with you. No one else. Even if it's someone else in the band. I can end them, don't worry."
"Yah, hyung, you're so scary!" Laughter.
But Zhou Mi ducked his head in acknowledgement and Heechul grinned, victorious.
Heechul could be flighty, capricious, irreverent, and often irrational - but despite his image and his reputation, Heechul adhered closely to his own private set of values. God help anyone who crossed him.
--
"You'd have to be blind not to see it," Ryeowook said, pouring the freshly boiled water over two cups of tea. "Or just very...unaware." The pause was significant as he glanced at Sungmin over the top of Donghae's head, a gentle smile on his face. He pushed the two cups of tea across the kitchen table.
Donghae took a cup of tea and shrugged. "I don't know. I thought they were just friends. You know, line order, skinship." He waved his hands around airily.
Sungmin was neither blind nor...unaware. He hid a grin behind his own cup of tea. "Donghae, I'm not even with you guys in China and I can tell."
"But everything they do, I do too! With everyone!"
Ryeowook patted his shoulder and then his cheek. "Oh, hyung, you're just a very affectionate person." His eyes crinkled at the corners when he met Sungmin's gaze though. It was true, Sungmin reflected. Donghae was hardly the appropriate gauge for the average person. He kicked Donghae lightly in the shin with a socked foot.
"Kyuhyun's not nearly as-" clingy, "-demonstrative as you, usually. I mean, yeah, some of it in China is probably just because he needs a translator and Zhou Mi is right there next to him so it's convenient but you can tell."
Donghae spun his teacup around, contemplative. Sungmin, who made a habit of being the quiet observer, watched him. He wondered:
"Does it bother you?"
Across the table, Ryeowook bit his lip.
"Donghae-hyung," he started, readying, Sungmin was sure, his speech on love being love in all forms. Sungmin was well versed with that speech, having been a significant contributor to the original.
"No, no, it doesn't bother me." Donghae looked startled. He blinked at them and made a pensive face, brows furrowed and eyes shadowed. "I just, I was wondering, do you think Zhou Mi loves him back?"
Sungmin started laughing.
"Hyung!" Ryeowook admonished but Sungmin couldn't help himself.
You really had to be...unaware if that were a question. Kyuhyun might've been understandably difficult to get a read on, but Zhou Mi- Oh, Zhou Mi was an open book.
"Just watch them next time," Sungmin said to Donghae, still breathless. "You'll see for yourself."
--
How long had it taken for them to get to this point? Zhou Mi felt like he'd spent half his life waiting, half his life hoping. He'd been afraid to ever voice the question, afraid that putting substance to that wisp of a wish would be to see it shatter. He had never asked, because if he never asked, he never had to anticipate an answer. No holding of his breath for a yes or a no, no flood of light and possibilities - but, at the same time, no fear that even the faintest of those possibilities would be destroyed.
Let us linger in an unasked in-between, he had thought, because this wasn't worth risking. For all of this love songs and love lyrics, he was a coward in the end. He didn't want to lose this, this friendship and laughter and camaraderie. He hadn't wanted to risk the comfort and the teasing mocking, the way they could fit into each others' arms without a second thought, with no uncertainties holding them back. To ask was to destroy something familiar and precious, Zhou Mi told himself, and so he'd refrained.
He hadn't expected it to be Henry who would upset their balance.
Cornered in their shared bathroom, Zhou Mi scrubbing at his face with cleanser and Henry in the doorway in his pajamas, saying without a second thought, "You know, my friends back home tease me a lot about how 'gay' everything is in China. All the touching and stuff, I guess. They don't really do it in Canada. But all of them are actually really good people, you know. They're okay with it. They think that it doesn't matter who you want to love, love is love." And while Zhou Mi had stared at this barrage of Mandarin, marveling in the back of his mind at how much Henry had improved in a year, Henry had smiled and shrugged a little. "That is to say... I think it's a good thing, the way you love Kyuhyun."
And that was the word. The word they all used every day, every interview and every performance, the word that meant a million and a half things.
Love.
"Henry," Zhou Mi had said, pleading. Not sure what he was trying to say. "You-"
Henry had just smiled at him - a small smile, not one of those broad-cheeked ones that made him look so young. This smile had been surprisingly mature, fueled by a kind of experience he would never have learned in Asia, one Zhou Mi had struggled with.
The way you love Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi's stomach had lurched.
Put into words at last, a question drawn from the unformed affection that Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun had always shared. Now it was near tangible. Now it was something Zhou Mi had to face.
Yes or no. True or false. Speak or remain silent.
Zhou Mi was honest with himself: he was afraid of many things. He didn't always take the path least traveled. Sometimes, the easy way was, well, easier than the hard way.
But when confronted with the two biggest opportunities with the most life-changing possibilities - credit had to go where credit was due. Zhou Mi said yes to SM. And he said yes to Kyuhyun - or at least to that chance.
So Zhou Mi pulled Kyuhyun aside one afternoon and, in the quiet of their dorm, he confessed.
--
I like you, Kyuhyun. The words unfamiliar and Korean on his tongue. A smile from Kyuhyun, puzzled. He knew Zhou Mi liked him. It was the understatement of the century. He would say something smart back any moment now, a quip to mock Zhou Mi.
I like you, Kyuhyun. Said again in Mandarin with the full weight of its import.
The smile was fading now, as Kyuhyun understood the shift in atmosphere. Something was off. This was different.
I really like you.
Zhou Mi inhaled, heart clenching tight in his chest, ready to say the next words, the logical progression to the next level - and then stopped when fingertips landed on his mouth. He exhaled, startled, breath damp around Kyuhyun's fingers as their eyes met.
The smile was back. Different. "I really like you too," Kyuhyun murmured in Korean. "Idiot."
--
It was like watching the sun come up, a gentle brightness that blossomed into light so intense you couldn't look directly at it. It was like a golden flood that seeped into every crack and crevice until you couldn't remember what it was like to be anything but so happy it ached.
Kyuhyun's chest throbbed with it, this heavy emotion that seeped through his limbs and left him dizzy. People said joy was effervescent, bubbly, but it slid through him like thick honey and anchored him to this moment. This reality. His hand dropped away from Zhou Mi's mouth as he felt heat creep up his neck - not embarrassment but something else altogether.
"Kyuhyun," Zhou Mi said, so soft like he didn't dare to believe. He wasn't even smiling but his eyes shone like dawn had broken.
Kyuhyun couldn't help raising a brow. "You really are stupid. Don't I stop playing games when you're around?"
Zhou Mi looked surprised, an expression that melted rapidly into indignance. "No you don't! You still play them all the time!"
"When we're all together," said Kyuhyun. "I play them less when it's just us." He had acknowledged what it meant ages ago, because you could only live in denial with yourself for so long. Evidently Zhou Mi had never come to such a realization, though comprehension was dawning on his face. It was true, what Kyuhyun said. Because when Kyuhyun was with Zhou Mi, he often found himself not even thinking about his games, and the occasions he would play, it was because they were so comfortable in each others' presence doing their own respective things. Kyuhyun didn't feel like he had to put up a front.
"Kyuhyun," Zhou Mi said again and Kyuhyun leaned forward and kissed him.
"Kuixian is okay," he said later, lying tangled in each other on Zhou Mi's bed, still clothed but giddy and breathless. He felt his heart thump against his ribcage, a smile tugging at his mouth.
"Oh ho," said Zhou Mi, delighted and wicked. Kyuhyun flushed.
"Kuixian," said Zhou Mi, practically a purr.
The only response Kyuhyun could reasonably give to that was to haul him back down for another kiss.
--
"It's official," said Sungmin, beaming. It was probably irrational, but he felt proud of them. And on their own, too!
Well, with some help from Henry, if he was to be believed. Sungmin hadn't been as surprised as Zhou Mi that Henry had been the catalyst. Henry was - well, he was deeper than he appeared. Not such a kid.
Heechul made a wordless sound, a little harrumph of contemplation. He shook his head. "About damned time," he said at last.
Sungmin just grinned. Heechul, for all that he was known for his way with words, could be deceptively quiet too. Maybe they weren't as close as they each were with other members, but Sungmin had been in the same band as Heechul for over half a decade now. You learned things about people.
"You should've seen him, hyung," he said. "He looked so happy he might burst."
"So just about the way he looks every day, then." Heechul scoffed and flicked his fingers at Sungmin, dismissing him. "Thanks for the update."
Undeterred, Sungmin waved cheerfully at him and continued down the hall to the next door. Hyukjae, at least, would be surprised. And, damn it, he would be happy. Sungmin loved being the bearer of good news; he nearly floated down the hall.
--
Heechul was fiercely protective of what was his. No one knew this better than Hankyung, but he wasn't here now. Of the remaining members, probably Donghae knew this best, but Donghae had rarely needed Heechul to defend him - or reassure him, or hold him - with so many others clamoring for the job. Heechul didn't worry about Donghae much.
Zhou Mi, however, got Heechul's protective hackles up so high he felt like a cat sometimes. "You're a cat person because you're a cat," Kibum had once told Heechul, amused. Heechul hadn't disagreed. He knew his faults. He knew his assets too.
"Yah, Cho Kyuhyun." Heechul put a hand on Kyuhyun's shoulder and propelled him sharply into a corner of the parking garage, a short distance from their van.
"Hyung." Kyuhyun gazed at him calmly.
Brat. Heechul was fond of the kid, cheeky as he was, standing there with his hands at his sides, like he had no idea what this was about. Heechul didn't cross his arms because that would make him look defensive. Instead he looked Kyuhyun in the eye and held his gaze, hard. "Listen to me, Cho Kyuhyun," he said. "I know you're a good guy. But, trust me, I will hear about it if you are anything but good to Zhou Mi. I will know. And I will end you."
Kyuhyun's eyes widened.
"I'm glad you two idiots have finally figured it out. I'm happy for you. But I know you're young and kids, you know, they do stupid things. Don't be that stupid kid, Kyuhyun. If you hurt Seasoning, your life will be more miserable than you could ever imagine." Heechul let that sink in a moment. "I hold grudges."
Everyone knew that.
Kyuhyun's eyes narrowed. "Hyung. You didn't have this conversation with Zhou Mi, did you?"
Heechul just stared at him. He let his contempt for the question speak for itself.
Now Kyuhyun was starting to look offended. "Am I not good to you? Why are you only threatening me? Hyung, this is unfair- Why are you assuming that I'd hurt him? What if Zhou Mi treats me badly?"
"Do you want to die?"
Kyuhyun's mouth snapped shut. After a moment he said, quieter, "Hyung, you know I'd never hurt him. I..." He met Heechul's eyes again, eyes clear and gaze steady. "I love him."
Heechul grinned suddenly, a crooked smile as he hooked an arm over Kyuhyun's shoulders. "Good, as long as that's clear. Come on, brat, let's see what's keeping everyone else." Out of the goodness of his heart, he graciously ignored the sullen twinge around Kyuhyun's mouth as they headed back towards the van.
Heechul had made his intentions clear, marked his territory. Now he could wish the dumb couple the best in the world.
--
"Hi," said Ryeowook, setting Zhou Mi's favorite Wuhan dish in front of him. He was beaming. "Eat up." He couldn't seem to quit smiling.
"Ah, Ryeowook!" Zhou Mi exclaimed. "This is amazing. Thank you! But what brought this on?"
"I'm happy for you," said Ryeowook. His smile threatened to spill off his face as he took a seat across the table from Zhou Mi and handed him a pair of chopsticks. "Eat up!"
Zhou Mi caught on fairly quickly. It had been happening to him all week, from the first time Sungmin had tackle-hugged him and squeezed so hurt it actually hurt. Followed by Heechul inviting him over to drink and mess around with the camera and mussing his hair fondly. Even Donghae, who had looked between him and Kyuhyun and back, and started whispering to Henry, who was wandering around with a self-satisfied air.
Zhou Mi fingered his chopsticks nervously. "You know, then?"
Ryeowook's hand stilled his fidgety fingers, a warm weight. "I'm glad you're happy," he said. "Both of you." And Zhou Mi should never have doubted, because this was Ryeowook. Ryeowook, who squeezed his hand and then sat back and waited expectantly for Zhou Mi to dig in.
"Thank you," Zhou Mi said as he helped himself. He meant it in more ways than one.
--
Kyuhyun very nearly sloshed his 2005 Pinot Noir over the rim of his glass as he leaned heavily against the wall. "He only threatened me! Me. How is that fair?" He wasn't drunk, not quite, but comfortably tipsy. The wine was very good. And it was good company, familiar company, with Sungmin on the other end of the bed, leaning against the wall as well. It was like back when they'd shared a room. Not too much was different.
Some things were different though.
Kyuhyun gestured with his arm and caught himself again, as the wine sloshed about. "Heechul plays favorites. I'm good to him, aren't I? But he only cares about Zhou Mi."
"What'd he say?" Sungmin asked. His eyes were bright over the rim of his glass as he sipped. He probably wasn't as dru- tipsy as Kyuhyun. He was a clever little fox of a hyung. Yes.
"He said he'd end me if I hurt Zhou Mi." Kyuhyun scowled. "Which, fine, that's fair. He's the type to do that. But you know he only said it to me! What if Zhou Mi hurts me? Does hyung not care at all?" Kyuhyun thought this was an entirely reasonable question to ask. It was a matter of equality, after all. And, all right, it was obvious the way Heechul had taken to Zhou Mi and to be honest Kyuhyun was glad Heechul liked him. God knew it would be so much more awkward if Heechul didn't. It was good for Zhou Mi to have good friends like Heechul, too, who would look out for him and make him smile and...things. Thinking was not Kyuhyun's forte right now.
But, come on, Kyuhyun had been Heechul's dongsaeng for...years! Many years. Before Heechul had even met Zhou Mi. And Heechul had been good to Kyuhyun after the accident, taking care of him. They played games together sometimes, even if Heechul was nowhere near Kyuhyun's level. It was only reasonable for Heechul to offer to threaten Zhou Mi on behalf of Kyuhyun, wasn't it?
Kyuhyun surfaced from his hazy thoughts to the sound of Sungmin's laughter. He squinted at him.
Sungmin was giggling helplessly, making no effort to hide his laughter. He leaned back further into the wall for support as Kyuhyun eyed him with some impatience, waiting for an explanation.
"Oh Kyuhyunnie," said Sungmin, stroking Kyuhyun's arm sweetly. "Oh you." He shook his head. "Do you think Zhou Mi could be anything but good to you? If he ever hurt you, it would hurt him even more than it hurt you. He wouldn't need anyone threatening him with bodily injury."
I like you, Kyuhyun.
Kyuhyun brought his wine glass to his lips.
I really like you.
Zhou Mi's face, full of quiet terror and equal amounts of determination. Zhou Mi, whispering translations in his ear. Zhou Mi, laughing at him and fighting with him for the bathroom, the last egg roll, the remote. Zhou Mi, showing him song after Chinese song until Kyuhyun picked one he liked enough to learn for a solo. Zhou Mi, earnestly explaining the meanings of the lyrics, tirelessly correcting Kyuhyun's pronunciation. Zhou Mi, huffing in frustration, smiling in pride, throwing his arms around Kyuhyun backstage.
Kuixian.
The wine was warm in his stomach, in his limbs. Lethargic and reminiscent of the way Kyuhyun felt with Zhou Mi's smile pressed against his jaw, his collarbone. A tangle of too-long limbs pressed close.
Kyuhyun opened his eyes, unaware of when he'd closed them. He found Sungmin smiling at him.
"I guess you're right," he said, a grumble.
Sungmin clinked their glasses together. He said, "But I do think Heechul-hyung was wrong about one thing. I don't think you'd ever hurt him either."
--
They talked about it, later. Zhou Mi said, "Well, Henry said," and Kyuhyun felt foolish, that it had taken the childlike Henry to bring them together. And then Kyuhyun said, "God, Heechul-hyung said," and Zhou Mi laughed and flushed, pleased despite himself, as his eyes promised Kyuhyun that he would never hurt him on purpose, never want to be without him, never let this go-
"Don't think this means I stop playing games," Kyuhyun warned, feigning grumpiness as they cuddled on the couch. "Now that I know you like me, I have nothing to prove anymore."
"I thought you said when you got a girlfriend, she would be your everything." Zhou Mi teased right back. He let Kyuhyun lean against his shoulder, arm snug around Kyuhyun's waist.
"Yup. Well too bad you're not a girlfriend."
Zhou Mi grinned into his hair. "You can pretend all you want, Kuixian, but I know you like me."
It was going to be his trump card forever, wasn't it? Kyuhyun was doomed. He reached out and pinched Zhou Mi's thigh, making him yelp.
"Doesn't mean I can't be mean to you."
Zhou Mi squirmed his thigh out from under Kyuhyun's hand, but still remained close enough to be pressing up against him. It was a talent, Kyuhyun mused, and then his thoughts snapped back to the present with Zhou Mi's threat. "I'll tell Heechul-hyung."
"Oh, you did not-"
--
Sungmin and Heechul walked in a few minutes later, Donghae and Ryeowook close behind them, to the sound of laughter and a mess of flailing, gangly limbs flinging couch pillows.
"God," said Heechul with a roll of his eyes. "They're made for each other." But Donghae caught the way he smiled as he turned sharply on his heel and made his way to his room.
--
Started: 2011.02.13 | Finished: 2011.02.14 | Notes: Title is a translation of "每段爱情都想动人旋律" from the lyrics of the song from the first fanvid (linked above). ♥♥♥
every romance is like a moving melody
Super Junior (M), Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun (Heechul, Sungmin), PG, 3675 words
A relationship is never just about the two people in them. Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun's is no exception.
But when confronted with the two biggest opportunities with the most life-changing possibilities - credit had to go where credit was due. Zhou Mi said yes to SM. And he said yes to Kyuhyun - or at least to that chance.'>
Heechul had a type. He liked the ones who appeared good-natured and unassuming but who, with a little deeper prodding, revealed a hidden streak of deviousness that meant they weren't afraid to tell Heechul off. Maybe it said something about Heechul that he liked people who could call him on his outrageousness, who could insult him to his face. With a grin.
Regardless of why, Heechul had a type and he knew it. Zhou Mi was as far from that type as you could get, awkward and earnest and sincere through and through. Heechul smiled when they were introduced because it was Hankyung standing between the two of them but was ready to dismiss Zhou Mi as soon as he turned his back.
Turned out Heechul had another type.
Turned out Heechul had a thing for persecuted Chinese boys who grit their teeth and threw themselves into their training, who spoke in halting, accented Korean and rapidfire Mandarin.
The people who got under Heechul's breezy, sarcastic persona were not a few. The people who got under his skin, though - those were the rare ones Heechul would go to bat for (metaphorically because, well, let's be realistic about Heechul's athletic prowess) with an intensity that tended to frighten the younger trainees. Sometimes even his fellow bandmates. Heechul thought secretly it was one of his best qualities, hidden beneath his public flair.
"Seasoning," Heechul said as they were changing, the last ones in the dressing room, "tell me if anything happens, okay?" He didn't bother voicing the threat that would follow because Zhou Mi knew him well enough by now to read it off his face with that quick glance.
"It's okay, Heechul-hyung," Zhou Mi said, smiling. "It can be hard but I will be okay."
Heechul pulled on his jacket with a jerk. "Don't be an idiot. Tell me." He scowled. "Let me tell you about the rules of Kim Heechul's favorites: only I get to mess with you. No one else. Even if it's someone else in the band. I can end them, don't worry."
"Yah, hyung, you're so scary!" Laughter.
But Zhou Mi ducked his head in acknowledgement and Heechul grinned, victorious.
Heechul could be flighty, capricious, irreverent, and often irrational - but despite his image and his reputation, Heechul adhered closely to his own private set of values. God help anyone who crossed him.
--
"You'd have to be blind not to see it," Ryeowook said, pouring the freshly boiled water over two cups of tea. "Or just very...unaware." The pause was significant as he glanced at Sungmin over the top of Donghae's head, a gentle smile on his face. He pushed the two cups of tea across the kitchen table.
Donghae took a cup of tea and shrugged. "I don't know. I thought they were just friends. You know, line order, skinship." He waved his hands around airily.
Sungmin was neither blind nor...unaware. He hid a grin behind his own cup of tea. "Donghae, I'm not even with you guys in China and I can tell."
"But everything they do, I do too! With everyone!"
Ryeowook patted his shoulder and then his cheek. "Oh, hyung, you're just a very affectionate person." His eyes crinkled at the corners when he met Sungmin's gaze though. It was true, Sungmin reflected. Donghae was hardly the appropriate gauge for the average person. He kicked Donghae lightly in the shin with a socked foot.
"Kyuhyun's not nearly as-" clingy, "-demonstrative as you, usually. I mean, yeah, some of it in China is probably just because he needs a translator and Zhou Mi is right there next to him so it's convenient but you can tell."
Donghae spun his teacup around, contemplative. Sungmin, who made a habit of being the quiet observer, watched him. He wondered:
"Does it bother you?"
Across the table, Ryeowook bit his lip.
"Donghae-hyung," he started, readying, Sungmin was sure, his speech on love being love in all forms. Sungmin was well versed with that speech, having been a significant contributor to the original.
"No, no, it doesn't bother me." Donghae looked startled. He blinked at them and made a pensive face, brows furrowed and eyes shadowed. "I just, I was wondering, do you think Zhou Mi loves him back?"
Sungmin started laughing.
"Hyung!" Ryeowook admonished but Sungmin couldn't help himself.
You really had to be...unaware if that were a question. Kyuhyun might've been understandably difficult to get a read on, but Zhou Mi- Oh, Zhou Mi was an open book.
"Just watch them next time," Sungmin said to Donghae, still breathless. "You'll see for yourself."
--
How long had it taken for them to get to this point? Zhou Mi felt like he'd spent half his life waiting, half his life hoping. He'd been afraid to ever voice the question, afraid that putting substance to that wisp of a wish would be to see it shatter. He had never asked, because if he never asked, he never had to anticipate an answer. No holding of his breath for a yes or a no, no flood of light and possibilities - but, at the same time, no fear that even the faintest of those possibilities would be destroyed.
Let us linger in an unasked in-between, he had thought, because this wasn't worth risking. For all of this love songs and love lyrics, he was a coward in the end. He didn't want to lose this, this friendship and laughter and camaraderie. He hadn't wanted to risk the comfort and the teasing mocking, the way they could fit into each others' arms without a second thought, with no uncertainties holding them back. To ask was to destroy something familiar and precious, Zhou Mi told himself, and so he'd refrained.
He hadn't expected it to be Henry who would upset their balance.
Cornered in their shared bathroom, Zhou Mi scrubbing at his face with cleanser and Henry in the doorway in his pajamas, saying without a second thought, "You know, my friends back home tease me a lot about how 'gay' everything is in China. All the touching and stuff, I guess. They don't really do it in Canada. But all of them are actually really good people, you know. They're okay with it. They think that it doesn't matter who you want to love, love is love." And while Zhou Mi had stared at this barrage of Mandarin, marveling in the back of his mind at how much Henry had improved in a year, Henry had smiled and shrugged a little. "That is to say... I think it's a good thing, the way you love Kyuhyun."
And that was the word. The word they all used every day, every interview and every performance, the word that meant a million and a half things.
Love.
"Henry," Zhou Mi had said, pleading. Not sure what he was trying to say. "You-"
Henry had just smiled at him - a small smile, not one of those broad-cheeked ones that made him look so young. This smile had been surprisingly mature, fueled by a kind of experience he would never have learned in Asia, one Zhou Mi had struggled with.
The way you love Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi's stomach had lurched.
Put into words at last, a question drawn from the unformed affection that Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun had always shared. Now it was near tangible. Now it was something Zhou Mi had to face.
Yes or no. True or false. Speak or remain silent.
Zhou Mi was honest with himself: he was afraid of many things. He didn't always take the path least traveled. Sometimes, the easy way was, well, easier than the hard way.
But when confronted with the two biggest opportunities with the most life-changing possibilities - credit had to go where credit was due. Zhou Mi said yes to SM. And he said yes to Kyuhyun - or at least to that chance.
So Zhou Mi pulled Kyuhyun aside one afternoon and, in the quiet of their dorm, he confessed.
--
I like you, Kyuhyun. The words unfamiliar and Korean on his tongue. A smile from Kyuhyun, puzzled. He knew Zhou Mi liked him. It was the understatement of the century. He would say something smart back any moment now, a quip to mock Zhou Mi.
I like you, Kyuhyun. Said again in Mandarin with the full weight of its import.
The smile was fading now, as Kyuhyun understood the shift in atmosphere. Something was off. This was different.
I really like you.
Zhou Mi inhaled, heart clenching tight in his chest, ready to say the next words, the logical progression to the next level - and then stopped when fingertips landed on his mouth. He exhaled, startled, breath damp around Kyuhyun's fingers as their eyes met.
The smile was back. Different. "I really like you too," Kyuhyun murmured in Korean. "Idiot."
--
It was like watching the sun come up, a gentle brightness that blossomed into light so intense you couldn't look directly at it. It was like a golden flood that seeped into every crack and crevice until you couldn't remember what it was like to be anything but so happy it ached.
Kyuhyun's chest throbbed with it, this heavy emotion that seeped through his limbs and left him dizzy. People said joy was effervescent, bubbly, but it slid through him like thick honey and anchored him to this moment. This reality. His hand dropped away from Zhou Mi's mouth as he felt heat creep up his neck - not embarrassment but something else altogether.
"Kyuhyun," Zhou Mi said, so soft like he didn't dare to believe. He wasn't even smiling but his eyes shone like dawn had broken.
Kyuhyun couldn't help raising a brow. "You really are stupid. Don't I stop playing games when you're around?"
Zhou Mi looked surprised, an expression that melted rapidly into indignance. "No you don't! You still play them all the time!"
"When we're all together," said Kyuhyun. "I play them less when it's just us." He had acknowledged what it meant ages ago, because you could only live in denial with yourself for so long. Evidently Zhou Mi had never come to such a realization, though comprehension was dawning on his face. It was true, what Kyuhyun said. Because when Kyuhyun was with Zhou Mi, he often found himself not even thinking about his games, and the occasions he would play, it was because they were so comfortable in each others' presence doing their own respective things. Kyuhyun didn't feel like he had to put up a front.
"Kyuhyun," Zhou Mi said again and Kyuhyun leaned forward and kissed him.
"Kuixian is okay," he said later, lying tangled in each other on Zhou Mi's bed, still clothed but giddy and breathless. He felt his heart thump against his ribcage, a smile tugging at his mouth.
"Oh ho," said Zhou Mi, delighted and wicked. Kyuhyun flushed.
"Kuixian," said Zhou Mi, practically a purr.
The only response Kyuhyun could reasonably give to that was to haul him back down for another kiss.
--
"It's official," said Sungmin, beaming. It was probably irrational, but he felt proud of them. And on their own, too!
Well, with some help from Henry, if he was to be believed. Sungmin hadn't been as surprised as Zhou Mi that Henry had been the catalyst. Henry was - well, he was deeper than he appeared. Not such a kid.
Heechul made a wordless sound, a little harrumph of contemplation. He shook his head. "About damned time," he said at last.
Sungmin just grinned. Heechul, for all that he was known for his way with words, could be deceptively quiet too. Maybe they weren't as close as they each were with other members, but Sungmin had been in the same band as Heechul for over half a decade now. You learned things about people.
"You should've seen him, hyung," he said. "He looked so happy he might burst."
"So just about the way he looks every day, then." Heechul scoffed and flicked his fingers at Sungmin, dismissing him. "Thanks for the update."
Undeterred, Sungmin waved cheerfully at him and continued down the hall to the next door. Hyukjae, at least, would be surprised. And, damn it, he would be happy. Sungmin loved being the bearer of good news; he nearly floated down the hall.
--
Heechul was fiercely protective of what was his. No one knew this better than Hankyung, but he wasn't here now. Of the remaining members, probably Donghae knew this best, but Donghae had rarely needed Heechul to defend him - or reassure him, or hold him - with so many others clamoring for the job. Heechul didn't worry about Donghae much.
Zhou Mi, however, got Heechul's protective hackles up so high he felt like a cat sometimes. "You're a cat person because you're a cat," Kibum had once told Heechul, amused. Heechul hadn't disagreed. He knew his faults. He knew his assets too.
"Yah, Cho Kyuhyun." Heechul put a hand on Kyuhyun's shoulder and propelled him sharply into a corner of the parking garage, a short distance from their van.
"Hyung." Kyuhyun gazed at him calmly.
Brat. Heechul was fond of the kid, cheeky as he was, standing there with his hands at his sides, like he had no idea what this was about. Heechul didn't cross his arms because that would make him look defensive. Instead he looked Kyuhyun in the eye and held his gaze, hard. "Listen to me, Cho Kyuhyun," he said. "I know you're a good guy. But, trust me, I will hear about it if you are anything but good to Zhou Mi. I will know. And I will end you."
Kyuhyun's eyes widened.
"I'm glad you two idiots have finally figured it out. I'm happy for you. But I know you're young and kids, you know, they do stupid things. Don't be that stupid kid, Kyuhyun. If you hurt Seasoning, your life will be more miserable than you could ever imagine." Heechul let that sink in a moment. "I hold grudges."
Everyone knew that.
Kyuhyun's eyes narrowed. "Hyung. You didn't have this conversation with Zhou Mi, did you?"
Heechul just stared at him. He let his contempt for the question speak for itself.
Now Kyuhyun was starting to look offended. "Am I not good to you? Why are you only threatening me? Hyung, this is unfair- Why are you assuming that I'd hurt him? What if Zhou Mi treats me badly?"
"Do you want to die?"
Kyuhyun's mouth snapped shut. After a moment he said, quieter, "Hyung, you know I'd never hurt him. I..." He met Heechul's eyes again, eyes clear and gaze steady. "I love him."
Heechul grinned suddenly, a crooked smile as he hooked an arm over Kyuhyun's shoulders. "Good, as long as that's clear. Come on, brat, let's see what's keeping everyone else." Out of the goodness of his heart, he graciously ignored the sullen twinge around Kyuhyun's mouth as they headed back towards the van.
Heechul had made his intentions clear, marked his territory. Now he could wish the dumb couple the best in the world.
--
"Hi," said Ryeowook, setting Zhou Mi's favorite Wuhan dish in front of him. He was beaming. "Eat up." He couldn't seem to quit smiling.
"Ah, Ryeowook!" Zhou Mi exclaimed. "This is amazing. Thank you! But what brought this on?"
"I'm happy for you," said Ryeowook. His smile threatened to spill off his face as he took a seat across the table from Zhou Mi and handed him a pair of chopsticks. "Eat up!"
Zhou Mi caught on fairly quickly. It had been happening to him all week, from the first time Sungmin had tackle-hugged him and squeezed so hurt it actually hurt. Followed by Heechul inviting him over to drink and mess around with the camera and mussing his hair fondly. Even Donghae, who had looked between him and Kyuhyun and back, and started whispering to Henry, who was wandering around with a self-satisfied air.
Zhou Mi fingered his chopsticks nervously. "You know, then?"
Ryeowook's hand stilled his fidgety fingers, a warm weight. "I'm glad you're happy," he said. "Both of you." And Zhou Mi should never have doubted, because this was Ryeowook. Ryeowook, who squeezed his hand and then sat back and waited expectantly for Zhou Mi to dig in.
"Thank you," Zhou Mi said as he helped himself. He meant it in more ways than one.
--
Kyuhyun very nearly sloshed his 2005 Pinot Noir over the rim of his glass as he leaned heavily against the wall. "He only threatened me! Me. How is that fair?" He wasn't drunk, not quite, but comfortably tipsy. The wine was very good. And it was good company, familiar company, with Sungmin on the other end of the bed, leaning against the wall as well. It was like back when they'd shared a room. Not too much was different.
Some things were different though.
Kyuhyun gestured with his arm and caught himself again, as the wine sloshed about. "Heechul plays favorites. I'm good to him, aren't I? But he only cares about Zhou Mi."
"What'd he say?" Sungmin asked. His eyes were bright over the rim of his glass as he sipped. He probably wasn't as dru- tipsy as Kyuhyun. He was a clever little fox of a hyung. Yes.
"He said he'd end me if I hurt Zhou Mi." Kyuhyun scowled. "Which, fine, that's fair. He's the type to do that. But you know he only said it to me! What if Zhou Mi hurts me? Does hyung not care at all?" Kyuhyun thought this was an entirely reasonable question to ask. It was a matter of equality, after all. And, all right, it was obvious the way Heechul had taken to Zhou Mi and to be honest Kyuhyun was glad Heechul liked him. God knew it would be so much more awkward if Heechul didn't. It was good for Zhou Mi to have good friends like Heechul, too, who would look out for him and make him smile and...things. Thinking was not Kyuhyun's forte right now.
But, come on, Kyuhyun had been Heechul's dongsaeng for...years! Many years. Before Heechul had even met Zhou Mi. And Heechul had been good to Kyuhyun after the accident, taking care of him. They played games together sometimes, even if Heechul was nowhere near Kyuhyun's level. It was only reasonable for Heechul to offer to threaten Zhou Mi on behalf of Kyuhyun, wasn't it?
Kyuhyun surfaced from his hazy thoughts to the sound of Sungmin's laughter. He squinted at him.
Sungmin was giggling helplessly, making no effort to hide his laughter. He leaned back further into the wall for support as Kyuhyun eyed him with some impatience, waiting for an explanation.
"Oh Kyuhyunnie," said Sungmin, stroking Kyuhyun's arm sweetly. "Oh you." He shook his head. "Do you think Zhou Mi could be anything but good to you? If he ever hurt you, it would hurt him even more than it hurt you. He wouldn't need anyone threatening him with bodily injury."
I like you, Kyuhyun.
Kyuhyun brought his wine glass to his lips.
I really like you.
Zhou Mi's face, full of quiet terror and equal amounts of determination. Zhou Mi, whispering translations in his ear. Zhou Mi, laughing at him and fighting with him for the bathroom, the last egg roll, the remote. Zhou Mi, showing him song after Chinese song until Kyuhyun picked one he liked enough to learn for a solo. Zhou Mi, earnestly explaining the meanings of the lyrics, tirelessly correcting Kyuhyun's pronunciation. Zhou Mi, huffing in frustration, smiling in pride, throwing his arms around Kyuhyun backstage.
Kuixian.
The wine was warm in his stomach, in his limbs. Lethargic and reminiscent of the way Kyuhyun felt with Zhou Mi's smile pressed against his jaw, his collarbone. A tangle of too-long limbs pressed close.
Kyuhyun opened his eyes, unaware of when he'd closed them. He found Sungmin smiling at him.
"I guess you're right," he said, a grumble.
Sungmin clinked their glasses together. He said, "But I do think Heechul-hyung was wrong about one thing. I don't think you'd ever hurt him either."
--
They talked about it, later. Zhou Mi said, "Well, Henry said," and Kyuhyun felt foolish, that it had taken the childlike Henry to bring them together. And then Kyuhyun said, "God, Heechul-hyung said," and Zhou Mi laughed and flushed, pleased despite himself, as his eyes promised Kyuhyun that he would never hurt him on purpose, never want to be without him, never let this go-
"Don't think this means I stop playing games," Kyuhyun warned, feigning grumpiness as they cuddled on the couch. "Now that I know you like me, I have nothing to prove anymore."
"I thought you said when you got a girlfriend, she would be your everything." Zhou Mi teased right back. He let Kyuhyun lean against his shoulder, arm snug around Kyuhyun's waist.
"Yup. Well too bad you're not a girlfriend."
Zhou Mi grinned into his hair. "You can pretend all you want, Kuixian, but I know you like me."
It was going to be his trump card forever, wasn't it? Kyuhyun was doomed. He reached out and pinched Zhou Mi's thigh, making him yelp.
"Doesn't mean I can't be mean to you."
Zhou Mi squirmed his thigh out from under Kyuhyun's hand, but still remained close enough to be pressing up against him. It was a talent, Kyuhyun mused, and then his thoughts snapped back to the present with Zhou Mi's threat. "I'll tell Heechul-hyung."
"Oh, you did not-"
--
Sungmin and Heechul walked in a few minutes later, Donghae and Ryeowook close behind them, to the sound of laughter and a mess of flailing, gangly limbs flinging couch pillows.
"God," said Heechul with a roll of his eyes. "They're made for each other." But Donghae caught the way he smiled as he turned sharply on his heel and made his way to his room.
--
Started: 2011.02.13 | Finished: 2011.02.14 | Notes: Title is a translation of "每段爱情都想动人旋律" from the lyrics of the song from the first fanvid (linked above). ♥♥♥