(no subject)
So many things have changed and some of them happened so quickly. Most of the time I don't think but act. I never really had time on my own, and maybe that's my fault. I admit that I hate being by myself. I don't know if I can do this anymore. You are everything to me, and you will always hold a place in my heart, but I don't know if you are right for me and I'm right for you. You need so much more. You deserve so much more than me. How is it going to be different with someone else? It's not someone else I want, it's me I want. I want to know who I am, who I was, and who I will be. It's sad that I've never actually thought before I acted and I'm sorry for dragging you into this mess. I love you so much, I do. But I need to love myself too. I don't even believe in myself. I don't care about myself. I don't want to lose the best thing that I have- you. But I don't see any other way.
A medicated stupor is not the way I want to go but it seems like the easy way to make the problems go away. I don't want help because I need to do something by myself- no short cuts.
A medicated stupor is not the way I want to go but it seems like the easy way to make the problems go away. I don't want help because I need to do something by myself- no short cuts.