(no subject)
Fingernails drag down my skin as I try to ignore the aching need to give into my desires. Failing is inevitable, and I have done so several times, yet with each attempt I promise myself that this will be the time I succeed. Only when time passes and my initiative fades do I allow myself to succumb. Defeat sets in because it feels like I will never achieve my goals and the main thought in my mind is "what's the point, what am I even doing this for". And instead of reminding myself of the cause of my actions, I decide to retreat and take a hundred steps back. The poison in my mind travels through my veins to infect my whole body. There are many antidotes including courage and belief in oneself but these are rare elements where I come from so I allow my iniatiative to die.