testing ...testing ...1-2-3...allo, allo...
... allo ell-jay world.
my name is china [cheena].
i created this journal completely out of boredom. rite now i'm deprived of rest, but i can't seem to bring myself to sleep. the reason being ?? too many thoughts darting here & there & everywhere in my head. so i thought to myself on a whim, why not start a journal ??
blogging must offer some beneficial element to your mental well-being [lol, i feel like i'm writing some thesis]. it allows for one to sort out one's thoughts & ideas [& that would be helpful much because i am rather scatter-brained]. you can bitch bitch bitch about the most insignificant and pettiest things in this world and it'll take in every single word you say without criticism. a way to release anything you have pent-up inside you, freely, openly, without holding back from fear of certain somebodies' opinions. write whatever it is your little heart desires !! ~ <3
blogging is really very therapeutic. with my emotional state ranging in extreme highs & lows. erratic, unstable, & sometimes contradictory i can be. [don't think me crazy please !! that's a big misunderstanding lmao. blame it on my naturally geminian bi-polar-ness]. my major problem ?? i have yet to effectively deal with this inability to contain and disperse my tempestuousness, and once that flame is sparked it has the capability of catching wild-fire. a temper which can take little effort to arouse, will ultimately get the very best of me, & trust me, you don't want to be in the same room once that happens. when i say i am off the hook, take those words thoughtfully, when i'm at my boiling point i can be vindictive, calculating, irrational, insensitive and brutal. i've done a few things i've regret, wether acting in a violent physical way, or with unrelenting insults aimed at your every insecurity, which i know how to do wordlessly through body language and being plain ignorant and having every intention to rock your emotions into a frenzy. i mean i've always been this way but it's gotten much worse. i don't know what's to blame, either unnecessary drama, or raging hormones, my well-hidden, delicate ego disturbed, or maybe my tendency towards over-analyzing emotions before feeling them ... argh !! [having to write this about myself , i feel damn pathetic haha] but hopefully in being able to write down and sort through everything in my mind it can offer me some kind of insight into the little mysteries, complexities, & frivolities of this life.
so here's to the start of my new, special, little project, a documentation of the daily dilly dally of yours truly, no holds barred, the good, the bad, the ugly. i know it'll help me find some inner peace. i know this because i feel a little weight off my shoulders already. honesty, self-awareness, and admitting to one's faults can be so liberating.
my name is china [cheena].
i created this journal completely out of boredom. rite now i'm deprived of rest, but i can't seem to bring myself to sleep. the reason being ?? too many thoughts darting here & there & everywhere in my head. so i thought to myself on a whim, why not start a journal ??
blogging must offer some beneficial element to your mental well-being [lol, i feel like i'm writing some thesis]. it allows for one to sort out one's thoughts & ideas [& that would be helpful much because i am rather scatter-brained]. you can bitch bitch bitch about the most insignificant and pettiest things in this world and it'll take in every single word you say without criticism. a way to release anything you have pent-up inside you, freely, openly, without holding back from fear of certain somebodies' opinions. write whatever it is your little heart desires !! ~ <3
blogging is really very therapeutic. with my emotional state ranging in extreme highs & lows. erratic, unstable, & sometimes contradictory i can be. [don't think me crazy please !! that's a big misunderstanding lmao. blame it on my naturally geminian bi-polar-ness]. my major problem ?? i have yet to effectively deal with this inability to contain and disperse my tempestuousness, and once that flame is sparked it has the capability of catching wild-fire. a temper which can take little effort to arouse, will ultimately get the very best of me, & trust me, you don't want to be in the same room once that happens. when i say i am off the hook, take those words thoughtfully, when i'm at my boiling point i can be vindictive, calculating, irrational, insensitive and brutal. i've done a few things i've regret, wether acting in a violent physical way, or with unrelenting insults aimed at your every insecurity, which i know how to do wordlessly through body language and being plain ignorant and having every intention to rock your emotions into a frenzy. i mean i've always been this way but it's gotten much worse. i don't know what's to blame, either unnecessary drama, or raging hormones, my well-hidden, delicate ego disturbed, or maybe my tendency towards over-analyzing emotions before feeling them ... argh !! [having to write this about myself , i feel damn pathetic haha] but hopefully in being able to write down and sort through everything in my mind it can offer me some kind of insight into the little mysteries, complexities, & frivolities of this life.
so here's to the start of my new, special, little project, a documentation of the daily dilly dally of yours truly, no holds barred, the good, the bad, the ugly. i know it'll help me find some inner peace. i know this because i feel a little weight off my shoulders already. honesty, self-awareness, and admitting to one's faults can be so liberating.