I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music.
Well.
i'm aching for summer to be over. Also, this whole 'i' key not working thing is really getting annoying. My brilliant mother can't find the paperwork from Best Buy. And, i'm not really being proactive. i do need to get this fixed before school. i can't very well write essays this way. it takes me long enough as is, considering i'm such a damn perfectionist.
Things are changing quickly 'round hurr. Our new ultra-conservative pastor informed my mother and her boyfriend Earl that because they are living together out of wedlock, that they are no longer welcome to partake in all of the music at church. My mom's frequent solos and Earl's guitar during all of the contemporary services...no more.
You DO NOT keep my mother from her music. And you don't do it with the excuse that "the Bible must be taken literally". Women wouldn't be allowed to speak out at church at all if we all went in that direction. And there would be slavery, and bull sacrifices, and other stuff...like that...
Sure, in other churches this might be permissable, but we're Methodist! We're the crazy liberals who really allow anything! My mom shot off a few e-mails to some of the more powerful people in our church, and they were all outraged.
But, the board that had the final say gave in to "our" pastor, who whipped out some scriptures and threatened that he'd leave. My own grandfather's on that board, and the next day he let my mom know all that had happened. He may agree that living together out of wedlock is wrong, but in the end he stood for his daughter's happiness. i do love my family.
So, yesterday, my mom and Earl decided that they're done with our church. My mother's been going to that church her entire life. She's given so much to it. it's where i spent a great deal of my childhood, and where i met my best friend, Lizzy. Her departure, i'm sure, will not sit well with anyone in the congregation. This only happened a few days ago, so most of the feedback hasn't hit us yet. My mom sure has been on the phone a lot though.
But in the end, love won over all. My mom's crazy in love with Earl, and it almost makes me sick sometimes. Maybe we'll find a new church. Maybe we'll just become those crazy non-religious people. Who the hell knows. Enough has changed in the last year.
Watch. i'll come home and my mom'll be Mormon.
Also, after an intense discussion, i found out how much of a douchebag my mom's boss is. i'm not allowed to go on her company canoe trip tomorrow because she knows i'll say something. Something probably inappropriate. i haven't met her boss yet, but i know he owes her, LEGALLY owes her, $5,000, and he's just a sexist assface who's not paying up. GAHHHH.
Now, as i only operate selfishly, i'm thinking about how that money could help me out. And i decide that it probably could a lot. So, i'm pissed. And i'm not one to really keep my mouth shut when i'm angry. Therefore, no meeting my mom's boss in the near future.
Hopefully she'll just get a new job and his company will completely bomb and he'll end up a bum.
Ahhh! i'm really not that mean! Maybe he can just get herpes or something!
i'm going crazy.
i had a rough night at work. My boss stuck me with a shitty section, which i'm sure he later regretted. You're supposed to get your sections depending on the order you come in. Well, that didn't happen, he just threw me randomly somewhere, so i decided i'd try to be flexible. Well, that backfired. my boss is a pretty cool guy, and i can be open with him. So i made it fairly clear that i was not a happy Boo. And he was cool about it.
i got a group of 10 really grumpy old people. i then draped myself across the ice tea thing and moaned about how i wanted to go kill myself with the can opener.
Me? Drama? What?
Last night one of the cooks begged me to be able to smack my ass. i reminded him, while giggling, about sexual harassment. Oy veh. Later, we were both putting gas in our car in the station next to work, and he came out with a rose for me. So i've got random Mexican cooks buying me flowers. Great. Everything i've always wanted.
Other than work, i've been umm...
-reading Harry Potter
-sleeping
-eating Scooby Doo mac & cheese
-buying random things ($3 t-shirts, computer speakers, candles, more lotion, etc.)
-fighting with Laura for being a dirty pirate hooker and stealing my clothes ALL the time. Die, you, die.
Oh. i went to the Gavin Degraw concert with Sarah. We met Gavin Degraw and Sarah gave him her number. But i wanted to get home asap so i could sit around naked and talk to my new favorite random online guy. He's mysterious.
Ok. More of that later. Maybe if you're all good.
Gavin did end up calling Sarah. They madeout in his hotel room. My friends party with rockstars.
Next night i went to Ani Difranco with Tina. We sat far, far away from each other on the blanket so as not to look like lesbians.
Mmmmm. Ani.
Tina and i have been tight since our first summer at Blue Lake, after 7th grade. That's so weird. i've known the girl so long. We've decided to stalk Kevin, the gorgeous cellist who we both spent a few sessions with. No one knows where he is now, and facebook's not helping.
i also hit up the Ann Arbor Art Fair with the family. it's so different going there after my first year. i know my way around now. i kept running into poles, though. AND i got 3 hats, 2 pairs of gloves, and a t-shirt at Urban all for $8. yaaaaa
Oh yea. Laura got into State. Ew. As John says, that just makes all too much sense. My sister is now a dirty Spartan. This also means i get to bring Cory, the Ghetto Contour of Doom with me to Ann Arbor. Having mixed feelings about that...
i'm still not as happy as i normally am. i'm my happiest when i'm busy. Here, i am not so busy. i think the highlight of my day today was riding past the house in my neighborhood that Seth is working on and screaming out the window at him. And honestly, Seth really isn't all that exciting. i just enjoy screaming. Okokok. He WAS shirtless.
it's just the feeling that i am so incredibly alone at this point in my life. My mom's all about her current struggles. My dad won't shut up about me finding my dream man. My sister is a nasty sack of stupid. My best friends are all askew. That was a really bad word to use but i'm at a loss really. God seems to be on vacation.
Also, figuring out what to do with my life might help.
i am going to learn mandolin and sit on a New York street corner and just talk to random people. That sounds like bliss, actually.
SylviaAmsterdam: i got really really wasted at his house once
eburgie23: I was there once when you arrived at his house really really wasted. was this different?
SylviaAmsterdam: not at all
SylviaAmsterdam: when i kept knocking over the hookah?
eburgie23: hahahha yeah
SylviaAmsterdam: seriously, that was not my fault
eburgie23: you must have knocked that thing over like 10 times
eburgie23: hahahaha
i should start writing music again. Or unpack the rest of my books. Or finish my quilt. Or volunteer for the blind.
Dammit. Learn to cook. That one's the most logical. i hate cooking.
i want autumn to come. i want to pull out all my turtleneck cashmere sweaters, go to the cidermill, and watch the leaves fall in the Diag.
Ah well. Mustn't rush time. it's too precious a thing.
Wow. Longest LJ in awhile. Because my mysterious online friend is not here to distract me. Wow my life is so thoroughly unexciting. i apologize for letting you all down.
'You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star.'
i'm aching for summer to be over. Also, this whole 'i' key not working thing is really getting annoying. My brilliant mother can't find the paperwork from Best Buy. And, i'm not really being proactive. i do need to get this fixed before school. i can't very well write essays this way. it takes me long enough as is, considering i'm such a damn perfectionist.
Things are changing quickly 'round hurr. Our new ultra-conservative pastor informed my mother and her boyfriend Earl that because they are living together out of wedlock, that they are no longer welcome to partake in all of the music at church. My mom's frequent solos and Earl's guitar during all of the contemporary services...no more.
You DO NOT keep my mother from her music. And you don't do it with the excuse that "the Bible must be taken literally". Women wouldn't be allowed to speak out at church at all if we all went in that direction. And there would be slavery, and bull sacrifices, and other stuff...like that...
Sure, in other churches this might be permissable, but we're Methodist! We're the crazy liberals who really allow anything! My mom shot off a few e-mails to some of the more powerful people in our church, and they were all outraged.
But, the board that had the final say gave in to "our" pastor, who whipped out some scriptures and threatened that he'd leave. My own grandfather's on that board, and the next day he let my mom know all that had happened. He may agree that living together out of wedlock is wrong, but in the end he stood for his daughter's happiness. i do love my family.
So, yesterday, my mom and Earl decided that they're done with our church. My mother's been going to that church her entire life. She's given so much to it. it's where i spent a great deal of my childhood, and where i met my best friend, Lizzy. Her departure, i'm sure, will not sit well with anyone in the congregation. This only happened a few days ago, so most of the feedback hasn't hit us yet. My mom sure has been on the phone a lot though.
But in the end, love won over all. My mom's crazy in love with Earl, and it almost makes me sick sometimes. Maybe we'll find a new church. Maybe we'll just become those crazy non-religious people. Who the hell knows. Enough has changed in the last year.
Watch. i'll come home and my mom'll be Mormon.
Also, after an intense discussion, i found out how much of a douchebag my mom's boss is. i'm not allowed to go on her company canoe trip tomorrow because she knows i'll say something. Something probably inappropriate. i haven't met her boss yet, but i know he owes her, LEGALLY owes her, $5,000, and he's just a sexist assface who's not paying up. GAHHHH.
Now, as i only operate selfishly, i'm thinking about how that money could help me out. And i decide that it probably could a lot. So, i'm pissed. And i'm not one to really keep my mouth shut when i'm angry. Therefore, no meeting my mom's boss in the near future.
Hopefully she'll just get a new job and his company will completely bomb and he'll end up a bum.
Ahhh! i'm really not that mean! Maybe he can just get herpes or something!
i'm going crazy.
i had a rough night at work. My boss stuck me with a shitty section, which i'm sure he later regretted. You're supposed to get your sections depending on the order you come in. Well, that didn't happen, he just threw me randomly somewhere, so i decided i'd try to be flexible. Well, that backfired. my boss is a pretty cool guy, and i can be open with him. So i made it fairly clear that i was not a happy Boo. And he was cool about it.
i got a group of 10 really grumpy old people. i then draped myself across the ice tea thing and moaned about how i wanted to go kill myself with the can opener.
Me? Drama? What?
Last night one of the cooks begged me to be able to smack my ass. i reminded him, while giggling, about sexual harassment. Oy veh. Later, we were both putting gas in our car in the station next to work, and he came out with a rose for me. So i've got random Mexican cooks buying me flowers. Great. Everything i've always wanted.
Other than work, i've been umm...
-reading Harry Potter
-sleeping
-eating Scooby Doo mac & cheese
-buying random things ($3 t-shirts, computer speakers, candles, more lotion, etc.)
-fighting with Laura for being a dirty pirate hooker and stealing my clothes ALL the time. Die, you, die.
Oh. i went to the Gavin Degraw concert with Sarah. We met Gavin Degraw and Sarah gave him her number. But i wanted to get home asap so i could sit around naked and talk to my new favorite random online guy. He's mysterious.
Ok. More of that later. Maybe if you're all good.
Gavin did end up calling Sarah. They madeout in his hotel room. My friends party with rockstars.
Next night i went to Ani Difranco with Tina. We sat far, far away from each other on the blanket so as not to look like lesbians.
Mmmmm. Ani.
Tina and i have been tight since our first summer at Blue Lake, after 7th grade. That's so weird. i've known the girl so long. We've decided to stalk Kevin, the gorgeous cellist who we both spent a few sessions with. No one knows where he is now, and facebook's not helping.
i also hit up the Ann Arbor Art Fair with the family. it's so different going there after my first year. i know my way around now. i kept running into poles, though. AND i got 3 hats, 2 pairs of gloves, and a t-shirt at Urban all for $8. yaaaaa
Oh yea. Laura got into State. Ew. As John says, that just makes all too much sense. My sister is now a dirty Spartan. This also means i get to bring Cory, the Ghetto Contour of Doom with me to Ann Arbor. Having mixed feelings about that...
i'm still not as happy as i normally am. i'm my happiest when i'm busy. Here, i am not so busy. i think the highlight of my day today was riding past the house in my neighborhood that Seth is working on and screaming out the window at him. And honestly, Seth really isn't all that exciting. i just enjoy screaming. Okokok. He WAS shirtless.
it's just the feeling that i am so incredibly alone at this point in my life. My mom's all about her current struggles. My dad won't shut up about me finding my dream man. My sister is a nasty sack of stupid. My best friends are all askew. That was a really bad word to use but i'm at a loss really. God seems to be on vacation.
Also, figuring out what to do with my life might help.
i am going to learn mandolin and sit on a New York street corner and just talk to random people. That sounds like bliss, actually.
SylviaAmsterdam: i got really really wasted at his house once
eburgie23: I was there once when you arrived at his house really really wasted. was this different?
SylviaAmsterdam: not at all
SylviaAmsterdam: when i kept knocking over the hookah?
eburgie23: hahahha yeah
SylviaAmsterdam: seriously, that was not my fault
eburgie23: you must have knocked that thing over like 10 times
eburgie23: hahahaha
i should start writing music again. Or unpack the rest of my books. Or finish my quilt. Or volunteer for the blind.
Dammit. Learn to cook. That one's the most logical. i hate cooking.
i want autumn to come. i want to pull out all my turtleneck cashmere sweaters, go to the cidermill, and watch the leaves fall in the Diag.
Ah well. Mustn't rush time. it's too precious a thing.
Wow. Longest LJ in awhile. Because my mysterious online friend is not here to distract me. Wow my life is so thoroughly unexciting. i apologize for letting you all down.
'You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star.'