Two Rules: Don’t kill anyone and don’t leave the room
First off I have to say that cleaning blood off from…well just about anything is a pain in the neck. White wine, salt or club soda often help!
The rules for corporal punishment at work are fairly simple. I can’t hit a child or physically humiliate them ‘in front of the other students.’
With the recent onslaught of teachers on leave due to feigned sickness and family emergencies, I mean how many mother-in-laws are you going to kill as an excuse before you find more creative excuses. The science teacher had been expected to win a noble prize, for one had to be given to a middle school teacher who could instantaneously clone herself and teach both 8th grade and 10th grade simultaneously at two different wings of the building. Much like any other Friday afternoon the science teacher refused to cut herself in half leaving the 8th graders unattended, much to her lack of knowledge.
A few minutes into the period following lunch several of the students, mostly the girls, had wandered into the hallway hoping to score coffee from the teacher’s corner.
Unknown to the students the staff room was filled with teachers. Finally unable to concentrate on writing a solution set due to all the chatter outside, I step outside and loudly user the filtering students back into the neighboring classroom. Slamming the door as I step inside I proclaim that the students need to behave. Seeing as how none of the students took heed of anything I had to say I once again shouted directions to the bubbling students. I presented the blustering group with 2 simple rules, they were not permitted to kill one another, for blood was too messy to clean up, and they were also not allowed to leave the room under any circumstances.
Upon reentering the staff room some time later a few ‘teacher’ runs up to inform me that several of the students, well at least five of them, were out and about. Spending several days ill prior to my return to the life of overly paid babysitting I was in a no-nonsense mood by the end of the week, by the end of a very long day.
After lunch I march my way over to the eighth grade room and promptly declare for all to hear, for I am sure that halfway down the hall and some classrooms over heard me chew-out the class, that those five or so students who were wandering about during the science period were to remain standing, I figured since they were so antsy they could stand for a while longer, for the following English period. I also warned the class that if these selected students chose to sit down at any time then the entire class would remain standing for two of my class periods. Just for good measure I wrote it up on the board and announced in the gathering students near the watering hole. A few students laughed and scoffed as I walked away and several more didn’t know what to make of me.
Fast-forward a period.
Stepping into the English teacher’s domain, several minutes into the period I am befit with the sight of her struggling to collect all the students’ papers in hand. As she attempts to quickly leave the classroom this new relatively teacher passes along the message that the students complained and were so tired that they had to sit down. I simply smile and wave her off.
I see a few grins as I continue to smile, set down my books, and say “Alright class please get out your textbooks, notebooks and have a seat.”
Seeing everyone settle down I turn on the projector as I do every day and make it look like I am about to teach. Before I write anything on the smart board I type out:
“Everyone take your chairs and line them up in the hallway and then come back in.” A few seconds of pin drop silence are followed by a series of complaints.
“You were given two simple rules to follow, you didn’t. You were given a saving grace by sacrificing a few of you and some of you didn’t seem to care for your fellow classmates, so now all of you suffer.”
To my surprise they all pick up their chairs shuffle outside and back in again.
Before I begin teaching I inform the lucky students who are near a wall that they don’t get to lean on it nor are their knees permitted to touch the ground.
Then I begin my lesson.
Sometime during my class the vice principle and one of the high school coordinators peeps in and then, curiosity getting the best of them, poke their heads in to see what is going on.
Without missing a beat I turn to the intruders and I shrug, “They were having trouble sitting so I let them stand.” Turning back around I continue my lesson.
Triple weekend homework, and a 3 classes worth of standing should do the trick.
The rules for corporal punishment at work are fairly simple. I can’t hit a child or physically humiliate them ‘in front of the other students.’
With the recent onslaught of teachers on leave due to feigned sickness and family emergencies, I mean how many mother-in-laws are you going to kill as an excuse before you find more creative excuses. The science teacher had been expected to win a noble prize, for one had to be given to a middle school teacher who could instantaneously clone herself and teach both 8th grade and 10th grade simultaneously at two different wings of the building. Much like any other Friday afternoon the science teacher refused to cut herself in half leaving the 8th graders unattended, much to her lack of knowledge.
A few minutes into the period following lunch several of the students, mostly the girls, had wandered into the hallway hoping to score coffee from the teacher’s corner.
Unknown to the students the staff room was filled with teachers. Finally unable to concentrate on writing a solution set due to all the chatter outside, I step outside and loudly user the filtering students back into the neighboring classroom. Slamming the door as I step inside I proclaim that the students need to behave. Seeing as how none of the students took heed of anything I had to say I once again shouted directions to the bubbling students. I presented the blustering group with 2 simple rules, they were not permitted to kill one another, for blood was too messy to clean up, and they were also not allowed to leave the room under any circumstances.
Upon reentering the staff room some time later a few ‘teacher’ runs up to inform me that several of the students, well at least five of them, were out and about. Spending several days ill prior to my return to the life of overly paid babysitting I was in a no-nonsense mood by the end of the week, by the end of a very long day.
After lunch I march my way over to the eighth grade room and promptly declare for all to hear, for I am sure that halfway down the hall and some classrooms over heard me chew-out the class, that those five or so students who were wandering about during the science period were to remain standing, I figured since they were so antsy they could stand for a while longer, for the following English period. I also warned the class that if these selected students chose to sit down at any time then the entire class would remain standing for two of my class periods. Just for good measure I wrote it up on the board and announced in the gathering students near the watering hole. A few students laughed and scoffed as I walked away and several more didn’t know what to make of me.
Fast-forward a period.
Stepping into the English teacher’s domain, several minutes into the period I am befit with the sight of her struggling to collect all the students’ papers in hand. As she attempts to quickly leave the classroom this new relatively teacher passes along the message that the students complained and were so tired that they had to sit down. I simply smile and wave her off.
I see a few grins as I continue to smile, set down my books, and say “Alright class please get out your textbooks, notebooks and have a seat.”
Seeing everyone settle down I turn on the projector as I do every day and make it look like I am about to teach. Before I write anything on the smart board I type out:
“Everyone take your chairs and line them up in the hallway and then come back in.” A few seconds of pin drop silence are followed by a series of complaints.
“You were given two simple rules to follow, you didn’t. You were given a saving grace by sacrificing a few of you and some of you didn’t seem to care for your fellow classmates, so now all of you suffer.”
To my surprise they all pick up their chairs shuffle outside and back in again.
Before I begin teaching I inform the lucky students who are near a wall that they don’t get to lean on it nor are their knees permitted to touch the ground.
Then I begin my lesson.
Sometime during my class the vice principle and one of the high school coordinators peeps in and then, curiosity getting the best of them, poke their heads in to see what is going on.
Without missing a beat I turn to the intruders and I shrug, “They were having trouble sitting so I let them stand.” Turning back around I continue my lesson.
Triple weekend homework, and a 3 classes worth of standing should do the trick.