Best phone call ever.
So I'm at my shitty retail job and we've just closed the doors, when the phone starts to ring.
My manager Renee, who's closing the registers, looks at me and asks me to get it.
So I pick up the phone and deliver the phone answering spiel, and immediately this dude starts talking, real fast-like.
"Hi so I'm looking for a present for my girlfriend and I was wondering if you guys carry any Michelle Lauren?"
"Uh, no we only have J Jill."
"Well Michelle Lauren is the niece of Ralph Lauren and..."
And then his voice changed, getting breathy and even faster (which I did not know was humanly possible).
All I could make out of his pack-a-day-auctioneer impression was "12 inch...cock...thrusting..."
And then I hung up.
I almost wish I'd heard more that 10% of what he said, because what I heard has left me laughing for a solid hour.
My manager Renee, who's closing the registers, looks at me and asks me to get it.
So I pick up the phone and deliver the phone answering spiel, and immediately this dude starts talking, real fast-like.
"Hi so I'm looking for a present for my girlfriend and I was wondering if you guys carry any Michelle Lauren?"
"Uh, no we only have J Jill."
"Well Michelle Lauren is the niece of Ralph Lauren and..."
And then his voice changed, getting breathy and even faster (which I did not know was humanly possible).
All I could make out of his pack-a-day-auctioneer impression was "12 inch...cock...thrusting..."
And then I hung up.
I almost wish I'd heard more that 10% of what he said, because what I heard has left me laughing for a solid hour.