When you gunna learn to stand up, for yourself cause I won't always be around.
okay, so I know I spend WAY too much time being upset.
and I am done with that,
I willnot let things get to me as much
and I will not get sad/as sad when things don't go my way.
I was thinking about how good I have it now.
I mean yeah I haven't always had it good.
and I have let my self landslide.
but i was in the midst of almost breaking a promise,
as in a started, but stopped realising, not only was i hurting my self
but I was hurting the one person in my life who won't turn his back on me.
and I came to realise that I don't need to have a perfect life.
and some bad shit has happened and though it is drawing near to being two years sice the worst personal experience of my life.
I finally figured out that I will bew fine, and it wasn't my fault.
I know that there are alot of things I could/should have done differently to prevent that night from happening, but I didn't and I am a teenage girl, I am allowed to make mistakes, and it was not my fault what happened that night.
and I am not about to allow myself to think that it was my fault.
it wasn't and I am not going to let anything tell me differently.
I will still think about it
it will still bother me.
but I have people who can help me.
and I am trying to not think about the other things that I did to help make myself feel better because all that does is lead me into temptation, and resisting temptation is difficult.
but I refuse to hurt him,
"there comes a time when you have to stop doing things for you, stop doing what makes you happy, and you have to do what you have to do for other people." someone told me that over the summer, and I need to take that into consideration. its not all about me.
its not fair for me to do things, to my self and what not if it is going to hurt the person I love and care for.
as for that
I don't know what else to say, but me being sad all the time is over.
I am going to stay within the moment and not think about the future, or the past as much as possible. I have a few skeletons to work out but I know that I have people who will be there to help me out..
so valentines day is in a week,
does anyone else find that as an awkward holiday?
bluh what ever..
I am in a good mood, I should have cleaned, but I didn't
my tummy hurts.
and so does my uterus
BLAH
p.s. I love you
love
emma
and I am done with that,
I willnot let things get to me as much
and I will not get sad/as sad when things don't go my way.
I was thinking about how good I have it now.
I mean yeah I haven't always had it good.
and I have let my self landslide.
but i was in the midst of almost breaking a promise,
as in a started, but stopped realising, not only was i hurting my self
but I was hurting the one person in my life who won't turn his back on me.
and I came to realise that I don't need to have a perfect life.
and some bad shit has happened and though it is drawing near to being two years sice the worst personal experience of my life.
I finally figured out that I will bew fine, and it wasn't my fault.
I know that there are alot of things I could/should have done differently to prevent that night from happening, but I didn't and I am a teenage girl, I am allowed to make mistakes, and it was not my fault what happened that night.
and I am not about to allow myself to think that it was my fault.
it wasn't and I am not going to let anything tell me differently.
I will still think about it
it will still bother me.
but I have people who can help me.
and I am trying to not think about the other things that I did to help make myself feel better because all that does is lead me into temptation, and resisting temptation is difficult.
but I refuse to hurt him,
"there comes a time when you have to stop doing things for you, stop doing what makes you happy, and you have to do what you have to do for other people." someone told me that over the summer, and I need to take that into consideration. its not all about me.
its not fair for me to do things, to my self and what not if it is going to hurt the person I love and care for.
as for that
I don't know what else to say, but me being sad all the time is over.
I am going to stay within the moment and not think about the future, or the past as much as possible. I have a few skeletons to work out but I know that I have people who will be there to help me out..
so valentines day is in a week,
does anyone else find that as an awkward holiday?
bluh what ever..
I am in a good mood, I should have cleaned, but I didn't
my tummy hurts.
and so does my uterus
BLAH
p.s. I love you
love
emma