you make me want to chew on glass

[childrn_n_bloom]

I am not having a good night
I had a lot of things that didn't get said
I had a lot of things that didn't get done
and ryan came over. which was okay at first
then it got ugly.
I wanted to rip open my skin
didn't
I wanted to rip out my hair.
also didn't
I wanted to push theworld out the window
only wish ful thinking
I wanted to push my self down the stairs.
didn't
I want to hurt you.
won't
I want someone over who will give me a hug and tell me I'm okay.
and everything else will also be okay.
I want someone to come over and lay and talk to me.
I want to be back to six hours ago.
right now.
I want to learn to not waste time thinking about what is going to happen tomorrow, and just think about whats happening now.
I want to not want to die

If you need me you will find me at the swingset biding my time under the setting sun.
watching the moon play games in your hair,
and there I will sit until the stars burn out.
the world unravels.
and entangles you into its net
and launches you out of its catapult.
it is then you will realise you have never been right
in thinking I'm wrong.
and that the only other fish in the see will come up if you drag the lake.
lest you had left yesterday in intentions of not coming back
but your hand slid to the player and you hit the rewind.
you obviously enjoy repetition.
in an over sight you mask it in a cream colored cloak
in retrospect you realise
it's rained and your cloak is transparent when soaked.

love
emma