Places to Hide
4.
The final bang echoed distantly in the hall, but I could barely hear it over the pounding of my heart. The thumping in my chest felt so painful that I was forced to hold my ribcage tightly with my arms, regulating my breath with every passing second.
Through the wood beneath me, the thumps of what was occurring formed vibrations, accompanied by the sounds of splitting wood and cracking glass. The turmoil picked up pace until it all became a whirlwind of destruction to my ears. And, in a sudden, it all stopped. I didn't have to strain my ears to hear what would then happen. A long scream penetrated my last hopes, dashing to pieces my only resistance to what I had feared was inevitable.
I could only imagine what was happening outside my room, but the final scream that pierced through my door confirmed my suspicions of what was occurring. I closed my eyes at that final scream and for a moment I didn't have to hold my chest because my heart had stopped beating.
Finally, my pulse resumed and I opened my eyes. As the inside of the desk was dark enough, it didn't make a difference as to whether my eyelids were open or shut. My sense of sight had become obsolete in the blackness, and my sense of smell and taste were obliterated by the salt of my sweat. I could only rely on my last two senses, and even then I was confined by the walls of the box.
I gently reached out a finger, slowly, to touch the wooden walls of the box, praying that I wouldn't make a sound. My hand didn't have to move far, however, and it collided with the wall almost instantly.
I had forgotten how small the place was in my blindness. I placed my palm against the fading cool of the varnish and carefully placed my ear against the pine. I wasn't sure what I was expecting to hear through the inch of wood. Maybe the soft padding my mother's triumphant feet, having somehow dealt with the intruder, or maybe a second, chilling, shriek. But, no, the scream I had heard was the last. Instead, I heard nothing. It was now that the cold, seemingly as if it had been waiting for the bets moment, decided to overwhelm me. My spine shivered and I leaned backward in defeat.
And then I heard it.
Low at first, and then louder, a moan of pleasure forced its way into my room. I couldn't bear to listen, and I shut out my most important sense, my hands firmly planted over my ears.
And then, I was nearly alone. All was still in the darkness. Four out of five of my senses lost, I could only feel the tears running down my cheeks and the sweat dampening my body. I couldn't shut myself out entirely, and suddenly, I felt more vibrations. Heavy footsteps fell hard against the carpet, digging down into the wood beneath as they made their way towards my door. I felt the urge to yell and scream, jump out of my hiding place and spring for the door, pummel whoever it was with my fists and fly out the front. I tried to move but I could barely move, my body was so frozen in fear.
From inside my desk, I felt the feet stop in front of the door before a massive shudder shook me, as if the door had been thrown from it's hinges. I flinched and suddenly I regained my mobility, but still didn't move.
He was in my room.
The feet walked in circles around the perimeter of my room, and I felt heavy objects being dragged across my semi carpeted floor. And then I felt the soft thump of hands grabbing the desk by the top.
I held my breath.
I was flung to the side, desk and all, but the impact didn't come.
I was seven years old again. In my mother's work space, I sat, my head poking out of the unfinished desk. My mother was working diligently at the top of the desk, and I smiled to see that she was younger then, her hair wrapped up in a pony tail, without the gray hairs that had seemed to haunt her years later. She turns to me and smiles, putting the screwdriver into her trouser pocket. Walking over, I can smell her perfume drifting towards me and I bury myself deep under the wrapping blanket she was keeping the bottom. I squeal in excitement as the desk is spun around with me inside. I had forgotten the desk was on the low wheeled moving dolly. And, I poke my head out from under, joyously looking up at my smiling mother as she spun my around in wild circles. She slowly brings me to a stop but I'm still dizzy and she reaches in to lift me up. She's strong, but her arms strain and she puts my down with a grin. My mother tells me I'm getting big but I'm too busy falling into her legs to pay attention. I hug her round the feet where I fell and she laughs at my silliness.
The wood smashed into my wall and I could feel the crushed wood, where the desk had hit the protruding baseboard, pierce my waist. Warm blood began to flow softly from my side and I looked down at my wound, surprised to be able to see it. The crack in the pine was large enough to admit moonlight.
I let my sense reclaim themselves as I heard the man walking down the stairs and out the front door. I waited for what seemed like hours before I began to move, but still I stayed in my desk. I breathed in and out, slowly flexing my limbs which had fallen asleep. I knew there was nothing for me outside. And so I stayed, encompassed in the only place I had left to hide.
There is nowhere you can hide,
All places are kept locked away,
Refuge from your pain inside,
All places you can never stay.
***Fin***
The final bang echoed distantly in the hall, but I could barely hear it over the pounding of my heart. The thumping in my chest felt so painful that I was forced to hold my ribcage tightly with my arms, regulating my breath with every passing second.
Through the wood beneath me, the thumps of what was occurring formed vibrations, accompanied by the sounds of splitting wood and cracking glass. The turmoil picked up pace until it all became a whirlwind of destruction to my ears. And, in a sudden, it all stopped. I didn't have to strain my ears to hear what would then happen. A long scream penetrated my last hopes, dashing to pieces my only resistance to what I had feared was inevitable.
I could only imagine what was happening outside my room, but the final scream that pierced through my door confirmed my suspicions of what was occurring. I closed my eyes at that final scream and for a moment I didn't have to hold my chest because my heart had stopped beating.
Finally, my pulse resumed and I opened my eyes. As the inside of the desk was dark enough, it didn't make a difference as to whether my eyelids were open or shut. My sense of sight had become obsolete in the blackness, and my sense of smell and taste were obliterated by the salt of my sweat. I could only rely on my last two senses, and even then I was confined by the walls of the box.
I gently reached out a finger, slowly, to touch the wooden walls of the box, praying that I wouldn't make a sound. My hand didn't have to move far, however, and it collided with the wall almost instantly.
I had forgotten how small the place was in my blindness. I placed my palm against the fading cool of the varnish and carefully placed my ear against the pine. I wasn't sure what I was expecting to hear through the inch of wood. Maybe the soft padding my mother's triumphant feet, having somehow dealt with the intruder, or maybe a second, chilling, shriek. But, no, the scream I had heard was the last. Instead, I heard nothing. It was now that the cold, seemingly as if it had been waiting for the bets moment, decided to overwhelm me. My spine shivered and I leaned backward in defeat.
And then I heard it.
Low at first, and then louder, a moan of pleasure forced its way into my room. I couldn't bear to listen, and I shut out my most important sense, my hands firmly planted over my ears.
And then, I was nearly alone. All was still in the darkness. Four out of five of my senses lost, I could only feel the tears running down my cheeks and the sweat dampening my body. I couldn't shut myself out entirely, and suddenly, I felt more vibrations. Heavy footsteps fell hard against the carpet, digging down into the wood beneath as they made their way towards my door. I felt the urge to yell and scream, jump out of my hiding place and spring for the door, pummel whoever it was with my fists and fly out the front. I tried to move but I could barely move, my body was so frozen in fear.
From inside my desk, I felt the feet stop in front of the door before a massive shudder shook me, as if the door had been thrown from it's hinges. I flinched and suddenly I regained my mobility, but still didn't move.
He was in my room.
The feet walked in circles around the perimeter of my room, and I felt heavy objects being dragged across my semi carpeted floor. And then I felt the soft thump of hands grabbing the desk by the top.
I held my breath.
I was flung to the side, desk and all, but the impact didn't come.
I was seven years old again. In my mother's work space, I sat, my head poking out of the unfinished desk. My mother was working diligently at the top of the desk, and I smiled to see that she was younger then, her hair wrapped up in a pony tail, without the gray hairs that had seemed to haunt her years later. She turns to me and smiles, putting the screwdriver into her trouser pocket. Walking over, I can smell her perfume drifting towards me and I bury myself deep under the wrapping blanket she was keeping the bottom. I squeal in excitement as the desk is spun around with me inside. I had forgotten the desk was on the low wheeled moving dolly. And, I poke my head out from under, joyously looking up at my smiling mother as she spun my around in wild circles. She slowly brings me to a stop but I'm still dizzy and she reaches in to lift me up. She's strong, but her arms strain and she puts my down with a grin. My mother tells me I'm getting big but I'm too busy falling into her legs to pay attention. I hug her round the feet where I fell and she laughs at my silliness.
The wood smashed into my wall and I could feel the crushed wood, where the desk had hit the protruding baseboard, pierce my waist. Warm blood began to flow softly from my side and I looked down at my wound, surprised to be able to see it. The crack in the pine was large enough to admit moonlight.
I let my sense reclaim themselves as I heard the man walking down the stairs and out the front door. I waited for what seemed like hours before I began to move, but still I stayed in my desk. I breathed in and out, slowly flexing my limbs which had fallen asleep. I knew there was nothing for me outside. And so I stayed, encompassed in the only place I had left to hide.
There is nowhere you can hide,
All places are kept locked away,
Refuge from your pain inside,
All places you can never stay.
***Fin***