kdvh

[childofpolitics]

pretty much any time i have any sort of real vacation or break from work i spend it in gainesville. it's all fine and dandy but i never really relax. i'm always running off trying to meet up with people which results in me not always being able to get a hold of them and sitting in my car forever trying to figure out whats going on and finally finding them which results in spending too much money or i'm fighting with my mom or just being annoyed by her in general or i'm visiting cuz there is something in particular we have to do for whatever reason. my trips to gainesville are almost NEVER relaxing. not to mention the stressfulness of 10 hours of driving. i just want like a week where i can lay around our apartment and watch tv and go running and lay by the pool and just decompress. as of right now i feel so lazy all of the time and i just dread going to work because i am so over it. when i'm at work i'm nowhere near as productive as i used to be. i mean i work. i work my butt off, but i used to work harder. plus i'm no longer excited about working. i used to feel so good about scrubbing down the whole kiln room or getting every last item packaged and organized. now i'm just blehhh.... now it's just another job and i HATE that. i know most people hate their jobs, but i do not want to be one of those people.

i guess this is more of rant with no real solution.
anyone seen my motivation lying around anywhere?