(no subject)
It's been about a week, he's not sure exactly. Nothing unusual there, he can lose blocks of days at a time if he's really trying. What he's been trying to do today, though, is to figure out exactly when he came in. But he can't, and that's OK because it doesn't matter anyway.
He's taken to sleeping in a chair by the observation window, so that the first thing he sees when he opens his eyes is the ultimate destruction. If he were more together, he'd say it puts things in perspective...but Jimmy doesn't think about things like that. There's no point.
An hour ago in the bathroom, after he'd washed up a bit, he'd pulled out his stash in a cubicle. Getting low and that ain't cool. There was a thing about the door though, he remembered. Clive had told him. Well, whatever. Maybe he'd look into it when he was really down to his last hit and there was nothing left at all. But at the moment, there's enough for a couple more days and as the sharp powder hits the top of his nose and his eyes start to water a little, the slight niggle of worry goes away.
Doesn't it always?
Tired though. That's what happens when you don't stop the party. After the first thirty six hours or so, the stuff doesn't really get you high, it just keeps you awake. And if there's not much to do, that isn't always the best thing. Nothing but time to sit around and talk to yourself because when your brain's on speed, you can't just sit. It's impossible. Move and do or sit and think. They're the only two options.
He doesn't know what there is to do yet and can't settle with nothing. It's an endless cycle, the story of his life. So he takes his drugs and sits and talks to people and doesn't sleep much, only when his body can't take any more. And then he wakes up and does it all over again.
The come-down tells him that there's something very typical about this. That the observation window doesn't put anything in perspective. It just tells it like it is - that even at the end of the universe, nothing ever changes. It's just the same old shit, no better or worse.
Jimmy is not surprised.