Michigan fun
inspired by James' entry, i did some research (i was really looking for the one that's entirely about our roads, hopefully i'll find it soon 'cause it's the funniest thing i've ever read).
in the meantime, here's some more michigan fun. some of these are the same as on james' list, but most are different. all are hilarious!
You know you're from Michigan when...
- You show people where you're from by pointing to a spot on the back
of your left hand. (Especially useful if you're from the Thumb or the
Little Finger.)
- You've never met any celebrities, but you know someone who knows Kid Rock.
- "Vacation" means going to Cedar Point.
- At least one member of your family disowns you the week of the
Michigan / Michigan State game.
- Half the change in your pocket is Canadian....eh?
- You drive 86 mph on the highway and pass on the right.
- Your idea of a traffic jam is 40 cars waiting to pass an orange barrel.
- You know how to play (and pronounce) Euchre.
- It's easy to get Vernor's ginger ale, Better Made chips,
Sanders hot fudge sauce, and Faygo pop.
- You know how to pronounce "Mackinac."
- You've had to switch on the heat and the air conditioning in the same day.
- You bake with SODA and drink POP.
- The movie "Escanaba in Da Moonlight" wasn't funny. You consider it
a documentary.
- Your little league game was snowed out.
- The word "thumb" has geographical rather than anatomical significance.
- Traveling coast-to-coast means driving from Port Huron to Muskegon.
- You measure distance in minutes.
- When giving directions, you refer to "A Michigan Left."
- You know that Kalamazoo not only exists, but isn't far from Hell.
- Your year has two seasons: Winter and Construction.
- Home Depot on any Saturday is busier than toy stores at Christmas.
- You know when it has rained because of the smell of worms.
- When owning a Japanese car was a hangin' offense in your hometown.
- Your idea of a seven-course meal is a six-pack and a bucket of smelt.
- You know that Big Mac is something that you drive over.
- You can see a car running in a parking lot with no one in it, no matter what
time of the year.
- You end your sentences with a preposition; example: "Where's my
coat at?"
- All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable,
grain, or animal.
- You think of the four major food groups as beef, pork, BBQ sauce,
and beer.
- You carry jumper cables and snow chains in your trunk.
- You design your kids' Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
- Driving in the winter is better because the pot-holes are filled with snow.
- Your favorite holidays are Christmas,Thanksgiving, and the opening of
Deer Season, which you consider a National Holiday.
- You have 10 favorite recipes for venison.
- You learned to drive a boat before you could ride a bike.
- You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
- Your snowblower has more miles on it than your car.
- Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout.
- You’ve ever used the word “bogue.”
- "Down south" to you means Toledo.
- The "Big Three" means either Ford, Chrysler and GM,
or Little Caesar's, Domino's, or Hungry Howie's.
- You think alkaline batteries were named after a Tiger outfielder.
- Your definition of a small Michigan town is one that doesn't have a lake.
- You define summer as three months of bad sledding.
- You attend a formal event in your best clothing, finest jewelry, and
snowmobile boots.
- The municipality buys a zamboni before a bus.
- You have experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week.
- if the local paper covers national and international headlines on l/4 page,
but requires 6 pages for sports.
- if your snow blower gets stuck on the roof.
SUGGESTED NEW SLOGANS FOR MICHIGAN
"The one that looks like a mitten."
"Where used cars from Florida bring top dollar."
"No hurricanes here."
"The Orange Barrel State."
"So close to Canada you can hardly tell the difference."
"We know the rules to euchre."
"Got fudge?"
"Two Mystery Spots. No waiting."
"No riots since '67."
"More than just boarded up auto plants."
"Sandy beaches without the severe undertow."
"Imagine an island where horse manure still litters the streets."
"Water enough for any drought."
"Visit Hell, Paradise, Christmas and Climax."
"Birthplace of Meijer Thrifty Acres."
"Where Ontario is a shortcut to New York."
"It's called snow. Get used to it."
"Where the names of suburbs needlessly end with "e."
"Deer processing available here."
"Not as flat as Indiana."
"Try eating corn flakes without us."
"Hardly any annoying lizards or poisonous snakes."
"Big on flannel."
"It's not the heat. It's the humidity!"
"Where the mosquito is the state bird."
"Good people with camping trailers."
"We moved American history to Dearborn."
"No toll roads and proud of it."
"Our biggest bridge makes yours look puny."
"Land of snow machines and bass boats."
"Speed limit's back up to 70, so move it!"
and my personal favorite:
"Where lousy teams get new stadiums."
in the meantime, here's some more michigan fun. some of these are the same as on james' list, but most are different. all are hilarious!
You know you're from Michigan when...
- You show people where you're from by pointing to a spot on the back
of your left hand. (Especially useful if you're from the Thumb or the
Little Finger.)
- You've never met any celebrities, but you know someone who knows Kid Rock.
- "Vacation" means going to Cedar Point.
- At least one member of your family disowns you the week of the
Michigan / Michigan State game.
- Half the change in your pocket is Canadian....eh?
- You drive 86 mph on the highway and pass on the right.
- Your idea of a traffic jam is 40 cars waiting to pass an orange barrel.
- You know how to play (and pronounce) Euchre.
- It's easy to get Vernor's ginger ale, Better Made chips,
Sanders hot fudge sauce, and Faygo pop.
- You know how to pronounce "Mackinac."
- You've had to switch on the heat and the air conditioning in the same day.
- You bake with SODA and drink POP.
- The movie "Escanaba in Da Moonlight" wasn't funny. You consider it
a documentary.
- Your little league game was snowed out.
- The word "thumb" has geographical rather than anatomical significance.
- Traveling coast-to-coast means driving from Port Huron to Muskegon.
- You measure distance in minutes.
- When giving directions, you refer to "A Michigan Left."
- You know that Kalamazoo not only exists, but isn't far from Hell.
- Your year has two seasons: Winter and Construction.
- Home Depot on any Saturday is busier than toy stores at Christmas.
- You know when it has rained because of the smell of worms.
- When owning a Japanese car was a hangin' offense in your hometown.
- Your idea of a seven-course meal is a six-pack and a bucket of smelt.
- You know that Big Mac is something that you drive over.
- You can see a car running in a parking lot with no one in it, no matter what
time of the year.
- You end your sentences with a preposition; example: "Where's my
coat at?"
- All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable,
grain, or animal.
- You think of the four major food groups as beef, pork, BBQ sauce,
and beer.
- You carry jumper cables and snow chains in your trunk.
- You design your kids' Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
- Driving in the winter is better because the pot-holes are filled with snow.
- Your favorite holidays are Christmas,Thanksgiving, and the opening of
Deer Season, which you consider a National Holiday.
- You have 10 favorite recipes for venison.
- You learned to drive a boat before you could ride a bike.
- You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
- Your snowblower has more miles on it than your car.
- Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout.
- You’ve ever used the word “bogue.”
- "Down south" to you means Toledo.
- The "Big Three" means either Ford, Chrysler and GM,
or Little Caesar's, Domino's, or Hungry Howie's.
- You think alkaline batteries were named after a Tiger outfielder.
- Your definition of a small Michigan town is one that doesn't have a lake.
- You define summer as three months of bad sledding.
- You attend a formal event in your best clothing, finest jewelry, and
snowmobile boots.
- The municipality buys a zamboni before a bus.
- You have experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week.
- if the local paper covers national and international headlines on l/4 page,
but requires 6 pages for sports.
- if your snow blower gets stuck on the roof.
SUGGESTED NEW SLOGANS FOR MICHIGAN
"The one that looks like a mitten."
"Where used cars from Florida bring top dollar."
"No hurricanes here."
"The Orange Barrel State."
"So close to Canada you can hardly tell the difference."
"We know the rules to euchre."
"Got fudge?"
"Two Mystery Spots. No waiting."
"No riots since '67."
"More than just boarded up auto plants."
"Sandy beaches without the severe undertow."
"Imagine an island where horse manure still litters the streets."
"Water enough for any drought."
"Visit Hell, Paradise, Christmas and Climax."
"Birthplace of Meijer Thrifty Acres."
"Where Ontario is a shortcut to New York."
"It's called snow. Get used to it."
"Where the names of suburbs needlessly end with "e."
"Deer processing available here."
"Not as flat as Indiana."
"Try eating corn flakes without us."
"Hardly any annoying lizards or poisonous snakes."
"Big on flannel."
"It's not the heat. It's the humidity!"
"Where the mosquito is the state bird."
"Good people with camping trailers."
"We moved American history to Dearborn."
"No toll roads and proud of it."
"Our biggest bridge makes yours look puny."
"Land of snow machines and bass boats."
"Speed limit's back up to 70, so move it!"
and my personal favorite:
"Where lousy teams get new stadiums."