Only six months left.
Ok, so yesterday was really good. Finally Leeanna and I got some time together. NOw its back to reality tho. I don't know. My bank account is depleting fast so I pretty much hopin that I get the damn job at Spec's.
Ugh. sometimes man just sometimes
I want to see Domino. looks cool.
Music is progressing nicely. Hopefully Josh and I can hook up soon. I will finally have a drummer, and oddly enough...my last drummer's name was Josh...hmm...maybe this Full Sail thing was a little underthought? No, scratch that, just bad timing. Like I don't know how the hell I am gonna afford it. But I won't worry about it...I'm better than this. I shouldn't let it all drag me down all the time. Fuck. I have a feeling things are going to get weird soon.
sigh
Its kind of funny how I never see this stuff coming, even tho, it happens a lot.
I think i have officially blurred the line between reality and denial tho. Like Its hard to tell whats really happening or possible and what I just sort of what I want to happen, or what I think will happen. Its interesting. I wish I had um...I don't know, parents, guidance? maybe something like that. It pretty much blows. I can't turn to my family in OK, cause then they will bombard me with how this whole moving to Florida was a mistake, and try and guilt me back...thanks. And...here...rightt...Well, I don't have parents here. My mom tries, and she has practical knowledge of how bad life can be, but has no real advice or guidance as to how you should make these decisions. I'm in way over my head. Making the decisions...like I always had to, BY MYSELF. I'm raising myself. And I think I've come pretty far.
Oh don't think,for a second that I don't realize that I never would've made it without my parents. I know that I would've died at age 1-17 without them, but as far as the other 50% non-physical shit...that was me. I had to teach myself, I had to learn everything by doin it, and it might have fucked my life up...but I cam e out okay.
Ah...sometimes I wonder why I write in this?
Does it really make sense?
Who cares.
I do feel good about one thing, that win or lose, I know that I got there because of ME...although I must say that my friends...have definitely pulled me out of depression many times.
ciao
Ugh. sometimes man just sometimes
I want to see Domino. looks cool.
Music is progressing nicely. Hopefully Josh and I can hook up soon. I will finally have a drummer, and oddly enough...my last drummer's name was Josh...hmm...maybe this Full Sail thing was a little underthought? No, scratch that, just bad timing. Like I don't know how the hell I am gonna afford it. But I won't worry about it...I'm better than this. I shouldn't let it all drag me down all the time. Fuck. I have a feeling things are going to get weird soon.
sigh
Its kind of funny how I never see this stuff coming, even tho, it happens a lot.
I think i have officially blurred the line between reality and denial tho. Like Its hard to tell whats really happening or possible and what I just sort of what I want to happen, or what I think will happen. Its interesting. I wish I had um...I don't know, parents, guidance? maybe something like that. It pretty much blows. I can't turn to my family in OK, cause then they will bombard me with how this whole moving to Florida was a mistake, and try and guilt me back...thanks. And...here...rightt...Well, I don't have parents here. My mom tries, and she has practical knowledge of how bad life can be, but has no real advice or guidance as to how you should make these decisions. I'm in way over my head. Making the decisions...like I always had to, BY MYSELF. I'm raising myself. And I think I've come pretty far.
Oh don't think,for a second that I don't realize that I never would've made it without my parents. I know that I would've died at age 1-17 without them, but as far as the other 50% non-physical shit...that was me. I had to teach myself, I had to learn everything by doin it, and it might have fucked my life up...but I cam e out okay.
Ah...sometimes I wonder why I write in this?
Does it really make sense?
Who cares.
I do feel good about one thing, that win or lose, I know that I got there because of ME...although I must say that my friends...have definitely pulled me out of depression many times.
ciao