Live Transmission.... on my face
This is an entry that tells a story. It is the story of a man who goes to get his car lubed only to have it blow up in his face. This man was me. This is my story.
It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Our hero wakes up late, wipes the sleep out of his eyes and dusts them off of his greasy face. He immediately hits the shower to start his day. He will later find out that this was a waste of time.
I am driving down Ponce De Leon Ave. My trip to dispose of my recyclables was a roaring success. The sunny afternoon breeze swoops in through my open car window. "It is a beautiful day," I think to myself. Suddenly, the car jolts. I have run over one of Ponce's many potholes (they should call it Potholeon Ave.).
I look up at sticker in the far left corner of my windshield. It reminds me that every three thousand miles I should get my oil changed. The sticker estimates that I should've hit mile 3000 a month ago. Eep! Time to check my milage. Uh oh... I should've gotten my oil changed 1500 miles ago. It looks like I need to get my oil changed, especially since I'm hitting the road next weekend.
Hmm... Cactus Car Wash does quick lubes I think. They have a very high reputation. Satisfied customers always tell me how great it is and I always see freshly detailed Jaguars and BMW's in the parking lot. I'll go there!
OK, my car is getting checked out; time to relax in the waiting room. This place is pretty cool. I feel like I'm in an adobe house in New Mexico.
"pfsfsppts... Jeffrey Kinsey, we need to see you in the oil bay. Jeffrey Kinsey to the oil bay"
Oh great, this means they're going to point out every little thing that they see wrong with my car that isn't really wrong...
Mechanic: "See, your air filter is getting dirty. You need to change that."
Inner Monologue: "Yeah, yeah. I think I can change the filter myself for a mere $5, thank you"
Mechanic: "Your transmission fluid is beginning to oxidize. Look at where I've tested. You can see the buildup in there. What I'm going to do is take this pump"
::mechanic picks up pump... oops::
Mechanic: "oh god! oh shit!"
Inner Monologue: "What the hell just happened!!!"
I can't remember it so clearly. It was like getting shot in the face with a Super Soaker 5000 (that big fucking gun) only instead of looking like this:
I look more like this:
The events that followed were filled with ravid apologies and towels getting tossed at me from all directions.
You would think that getting shot in the face with a quart of transmission fluid would anger somebody. I on the other hand am able to laugh at it. I left Cactus Car Wash not with a free oil change (cheap bastards) but with a free air filter (wahoo...), a story to tell, and overly sensitive eyes (they may have lost their natural lubrication).
It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Our hero wakes up late, wipes the sleep out of his eyes and dusts them off of his greasy face. He immediately hits the shower to start his day. He will later find out that this was a waste of time.
I am driving down Ponce De Leon Ave. My trip to dispose of my recyclables was a roaring success. The sunny afternoon breeze swoops in through my open car window. "It is a beautiful day," I think to myself. Suddenly, the car jolts. I have run over one of Ponce's many potholes (they should call it Potholeon Ave.).
I look up at sticker in the far left corner of my windshield. It reminds me that every three thousand miles I should get my oil changed. The sticker estimates that I should've hit mile 3000 a month ago. Eep! Time to check my milage. Uh oh... I should've gotten my oil changed 1500 miles ago. It looks like I need to get my oil changed, especially since I'm hitting the road next weekend.
Hmm... Cactus Car Wash does quick lubes I think. They have a very high reputation. Satisfied customers always tell me how great it is and I always see freshly detailed Jaguars and BMW's in the parking lot. I'll go there!
OK, my car is getting checked out; time to relax in the waiting room. This place is pretty cool. I feel like I'm in an adobe house in New Mexico.
"pfsfsppts... Jeffrey Kinsey, we need to see you in the oil bay. Jeffrey Kinsey to the oil bay"
Oh great, this means they're going to point out every little thing that they see wrong with my car that isn't really wrong...
Mechanic: "See, your air filter is getting dirty. You need to change that."
Inner Monologue: "Yeah, yeah. I think I can change the filter myself for a mere $5, thank you"
Mechanic: "Your transmission fluid is beginning to oxidize. Look at where I've tested. You can see the buildup in there. What I'm going to do is take this pump"
::mechanic picks up pump... oops::
Mechanic: "oh god! oh shit!"
Inner Monologue: "What the hell just happened!!!"
I can't remember it so clearly. It was like getting shot in the face with a Super Soaker 5000 (that big fucking gun) only instead of looking like this:
I look more like this:
The events that followed were filled with ravid apologies and towels getting tossed at me from all directions.
You would think that getting shot in the face with a quart of transmission fluid would anger somebody. I on the other hand am able to laugh at it. I left Cactus Car Wash not with a free oil change (cheap bastards) but with a free air filter (wahoo...), a story to tell, and overly sensitive eyes (they may have lost their natural lubrication).