21 years of what?
well let me just say the BBQ has been canceled. the reason is my fuck'en sister and her boyfriend have convinced my mother that im not responsible enough, cant/shouldn't be trusted and above all "i don't deserve one". wow pretty fucked up.
i have held a bbq before, here and with a lot more people then i was planing to for my 21st.
i have had a Halloween get together.
(I believe)i have done well watching over, controlling and every thing ell a host should do for both of them.
my whole life i hven't done any thing. (drinking, smoking, or any kind of "bad" drug) which means my life has been really hard to deal with. i honestly think my life would have been better if i wouldn't have acted the way i do and done some of these things. maybe i could have gotten some one to pity me as some Fucking Loser. because we all know that Losers get the cheaters satisfaction out of life
from this, i have no release, no comfort, no place to go, nothing to cherish, nothing to care about or care for me. their is no point to my life. it has been so, for quits some time. i had a point once but it was an illusion. and every thing before it was a "set goal" to get to that Failure Point. a whole series of struggle and attempts. for what? a obvious failure. and after that, nothing. what am i supposed to do?
i have held a bbq before, here and with a lot more people then i was planing to for my 21st.
i have had a Halloween get together.
(I believe)i have done well watching over, controlling and every thing ell a host should do for both of them.
my whole life i hven't done any thing. (drinking, smoking, or any kind of "bad" drug) which means my life has been really hard to deal with. i honestly think my life would have been better if i wouldn't have acted the way i do and done some of these things. maybe i could have gotten some one to pity me as some Fucking Loser. because we all know that Losers get the cheaters satisfaction out of life
from this, i have no release, no comfort, no place to go, nothing to cherish, nothing to care about or care for me. their is no point to my life. it has been so, for quits some time. i had a point once but it was an illusion. and every thing before it was a "set goal" to get to that Failure Point. a whole series of struggle and attempts. for what? a obvious failure. and after that, nothing. what am i supposed to do?