Kisses - Part 05: First Real Kiss
Title: Kisses - Part 05: First Real Kiss
Author: Viv
Genre: romance/angst/slight humor
Rating: PG
Fandom: Slam Dunk [book - manga]
Pairing: HanaRu
Disclaimer: I barely know a lick about basketball, hadn’t it been for the books.
Summary: … You want me to talk about what? [Hanamichi’s POV - multi-parts: (01) (02) (03) ( 04)]
Author's note: Not as much humor in this part as in the previous ones, I’m afraid. Aaaah, well. Enjoy.
Hi.
… I know, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? Well, what else would you expect from a busy university student?
Well that isn’t entirely true, I suppose. Right after I told you guys about my sweetest kiss (… I’m NOT blushing!), I guess I needed some time to take a break.
Not a break from Kaede! Not at all!
Not that he’d even accept one… which is a good thing, I believe.
Anyway, that trip down memory lane got me quite emotional and when Kaede found me not long, he pretty much started panicking when he realized that I was - or at least, have been - crying. That took me a good hour or so to reassure him that the reason why my eyes were red (and that my nose was possibly running) wasn’t because I was sad or hurt. In fact, I was maybe kind of ashamed that he’d seen me in that state. (I know Rukawa feels embarrassed too whenever he gets a tad bit more emotional than his usual - you’d think he was a block of ice if he didn’t have eyes or if you didn’t know him well enough.)
When I eventually convinced him that I was actually reminiscing about my seventeen birthday, kitsune turned a interesting shade of red, remembering that he was pretty much the one who gave it away to our friends.
But, hey, we did a pretty darn job of keeping our relationship secret for almost a year! It wasn’t that hard in public really, since we tended - and still do - to butt heads and fight all the times on everything, although our techniques for venting our frustrations or anger were different.
I yelled at him a lot in public and then would give him the silent treatment when we were alone. It was the other way around for him; in public he barely talked, preferring to mock me by not responding to my antics, while away from the prying eyes of others he’d always be seeking me out with a somewhat accusing tone in his voice.
It had always been like that.
My first real willing kiss (and coincidentally, his too) happened during my rehabilitation period after my back injury from the Sannoh game. Rukawa’s training camp with the Japan junior team happened to be close by the hospital where I was staying.
It became a habit for me to go to the nearby beach each morning. At first I would go there every few days to read letters from Haruko-san and eventually the newspapers that spoke of the Shohoku team and the letters from my teammates that Youhei never failed to bring each week. Of course the rest of the team also came to visit me regularly and asking for news of the kitsune at the same time. I would usually just growl out something about seeing him sometimes jogging by whenever I went to the beach before wolfing down the chocolates and baked sweets that they always thought of bringing.
After that, when Mitchy, Ryochin or one of the guntai would lend me a manga (or occasionally, a book from Megane-kun) I took it to go to the beach each day to read it (or a chapter at a time whenever it was a novel) before taking some time to watch the waves before me. I was somewhat fascinated by the seemingly never ending ocean and its slow movements, the few birds circling around the beach and the occasional cool breeze. The lack of big noises reminded to breathe and to slow down my rhythm of life a bit. Those few hours I spent by myself was enough to calm me down and push me through the day and the at first excruciatingly painful therapy sessions I would go through. Sometimes when it got too much, I would also go to the beach in the late evening to unwind.
Originally the doctors and nurses were against it, but when one of my therapists noticed that my mood seemed to be much better on days when she would pick me up (or rather, catch me) at the beach in the morning, she pointed it out to the nurses and the doctor and other therapists following my progress. Eventually they seemed to realize that what she said was true and soon I was even encouraged to go to the beach in the morning.
I said before that the beach was what calmed me the most, right? Well at first it was, but then eventually I had to convince myself that it still was so.
What happened?
Rukawa Kaede happened, that’s what.
I remember the first letter I got from Haruko-chan (even now kitsune still seems to be a bit miffed whenever I call her that way… then again, that could mean nothing to the glares Gori still directs to me occasionally). I was giddy and happy because at that time I was fairly sure I was still quite infatuated with her (though I thought it was love back then) and rushed to read it at the beach where no one would disturb me.
The moment she mentioned Rukawa, however, I grew quite annoyed before realized that I had also felt a slight pinch to my heart. I attributed that to be hurt that Haruko-chan still had a deep crush on my archrival.
That was, until I looked up from the letter and saw him running by.
I remember him pausing and staring at me - weeks later I would find out that he had been shocked and frozen at my sight - before finally settling on pulling open the jacket of his uniform to show me the “Japan” boldly imprinted across his chest on his game uniform.
I admit, I was infuriated and had started yelling at him the moment he turned his back to me and resumed his run.
Then he stopped again and I found myself falling silent, not understanding why he was just standing there.
Rukawa was only a few meters away from, a hand over his eyes to shield them from the sun as he seemed to watch something in the far, far horizon. It was a if he was in a world of his own.
I saw the waves close to licking the soles of his sneakers, the rays of sun making his slightly (if barely) darkened skin glow and his sweat glistens over his body, I watched as a stronger breeze caused his windbreaker to flap away from his body, as it ruffled his hair, his deep, cold blue eyes, bright even under the shade his hand created, seemed to glazed over with something I couldn’t quite recognized.
It was fleeting moment, and in that very brief moment I felt my heart suddenly flutter, my gaze refusing to leave his sight.
What broke me out of my trance - and consequently, the moment - was one of my therapists calling out to me. It was strange, really, how everything suddenly became so- so ordinary again.
Suddenly I could hear the birds chirping again, I could hear the waves crashing close to Rukawa’s feet, I could hear the rumbling of an airplane, and everything seemed a bit less bright, a bit less- less- I didn’t know what to think exactly. With a start, I realized that the airplane that I had heard was still in my line of vision and remember Rukawa’s goal and dream.
One day he would leave for America, probably the United States.
I felt another painful tug at my heart and started wondering if it wasn’t my heart that was having a problem instead of my back.
Rukawa was still standing there when I got up and slowly turned around to face Dr. Takanaga, my gaze lingering behind, not quite ready to leave his figure.
“It’s time.”
Takanaga-san’s voice pulled my thoughts away from the kitsune. I grinned at her though inside I was still confused by what had just happened.
“Today, it will be a bit harder.”
“Uh huh, let’s go!”
The doctor chuckled. I knew she was growing fond of me. In fact, the entire staff was, even if they kept scowling me for being loud and obnoxious - hey, they just wouldn’t admit how much they adored me! I mean who wouldn’t?
NYHAHAHAHAHAHA!
“So, you’re not scared? You’ll make it through, Sakuragi-kun?”
“Ha ha ha! What kind of question is that!”
Behind me, I heard soft footsteps moving away and glanced behind me to see Rukawa walking away.
Another tug at my heart.
I ignored and directed my gaze to Takanaga-san who was walking slightly behind me and smiled.
“Because I’m a tensai.”
My eyes had unwillingly strayed back to his tall form halfway between my belated answer.
And then, as if he had felt my eyes watching him, he suddenly stopped, his head turned sideways and his icy blue orbs stared straight into my brown ones.
I faltered in my steps, my smile slipped off my lips and I was unable to pry my gaze away from his. I thought I had seen something flicker across his eyes, and was rendered rooted to the spot. I could feel my cheeks burning.
Rukawa blinked and abruptly turned away, resuming his jogging. I followed his movements, my hands clenching into fists before walking again back to the hospital.
I came back the next day. That was when I started going to the beach two days in a row.
I saw Rukawa again.
This time, he came earlier. And yet again, he paused for a moment to look at the ocean before glaring at me briefly but intensely, and running off again.
Each day I came back at the same time, a book in hand to make it look so that I was not just waiting for someone, and each day he would come at exactly the same time, about an hour into my reading.
But his figure would cut into the sunlight and stay there a bit more each day, a bit closer each time.
My heart raced a bit more each morning.
His eyes always crossed mine before leaving.
I tried convincing myself that I still went there each day for the beach and its atmosphere.
I tried telling myself that I wasn’t waiting for him to appear each day, that it wasn’t the sight of him that lifted my mood, that he wasn’t making my heart react.
I tried telling myself that my heart would skip a beat or two in his presence only because he annoyed me, and nothing else. I wouldn’t admit how mesmerized by him I was.
And then one morning a letter from Haruko-chan flew out of my hand and landed at his feet.
I remembered him staring at the sheet of paper at lying in the sand. Remembered how he bent down to pick it up, how he turned to look at me, before taking those few steps that separated us.
I remembered the feel of his warm fingers grazing mine when he handed back the letter, and remembered how his eyes darkened when he saw the signature on it. Remembered how his gaze met mine, intense and much too piercing.
I didn’t see him the following morning.
Nor the day after.
I tried to remind myself that I wasn’t going to the beach to see him.
I slowly sunk back into depression, yet I was still unwilling to admit I missed the fox-boy.
My guntai, who’d come see me every few afternoons, kept me occupied during those times. Kogure, Mitchy, Gori and Ryochin came each week-end and the rest of the team came along occasionally, like I said. Other teams’ members also came to see me.
But that didn’t change the fact that once they were gone, I was alone again.
And it felt lonely even though I had already lived by myself for a few years already.
Eventually they all started noticing that something was troubling me much more than I was willing to admit. It was one Sunday morning that Youhei asked me about it. He had sent the rest of the guntai to go buy food and such and they had quickly, strangely enough, complied without a single quip of protest.
“Hanamichi?”
“Hum?”
“Is something bothering you?”
I looked up in surprise.
“We all know something is wrong, Hanamichi. Everyone’s noticed, even Sendoh was wondering why you hadn’t been quite yourself lately. Heck, Kyota is worried and you know he’s not quite the brightest the bulb in the box when it comes to people’s feelings.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I managed to stammer.
“Hanamichi. I’m your best friend, I think I know you enough to notice when you’re not exactly yourself. What’s going on, buddy.”
“Absolutely nothing!”
“Hanamichi! You smile but your eyes seem dull, you laugh but it sounds empty, you talk less and less whenever we come to see you, and the nurses and doctors are telling that you’ve barely made any progress over the last two weeks even though you started out so well. What else do you want me to point out?”
“I- I just… I don’t know.”
I thought of blue.
Blue ocean.
Blue sky.
Blue eyes.
My heart thumped painfully.
“Hanamichi?”
“I don’t know, Youhei.”
Youhei shook his head and smiled sadly before dropping a hand on my shoulder and squeezing it as if telling me that he’d wait for when I’d be ready to talk about it, but that I shouldn’t keep it to myself for too long. He never asked me again after that, but I could see the concern never quite leaving anyone’s eyes whenever they came to visit.
I started taking late evening trips to the beach again, trying to find some comfort in watching the sun set and the beach quieting down. I’d let the murmur of the waves lull me into a different world.
Where everything was blue.
Blue.
That was all that I saw when my eyes opened one evening while I was lying on the sand.
Blue.
Blue eyes.
Blue eyes that were crinkled in worry and suddenly blinked in shock when they met my gaze.
Something warm and slightly rough but gentle swept under the corner of my eyes and when I felt it move away, I realized that I was crying.
And that Rukawa was staring down at me, his eyes soft.
Before I knew it, my hands shot out to grab his shoulders, needing to feel his skin, his body, to make sure that I wasn’t making some kind of strange dream, that I wasn’t hallucinating. I didn’t want him to disappear again.
Rukawa turned out to be real and living, his eyes widening as he froze and stared at me longer.
I ruefully remember, as embarrassing as it was, screaming at him for the next minute or so. Shrieking, almost, before it all died down to whimpers and sobs.
“DON’T YOU EVER DISAPPEAR LIKE THAT AGAIN, YOU HEAR ME YOU STUPID FOX!”
“…”
“Don’t you dare avoid me! Never do that again! Never! Do you hear me kitsune? Do you hear me?”
I was still shaking when his arms slowly surrounded me and pulled me up against his chest, my hands gripping the front of his sweater, his fingers running up and down my back. A shiver ran through my body different from the previous ones.
“What did you do to me?”
His nose pressed closed to my ear, his smooth cheek against mine, I abandoned myself to the emotions that I had failed, or maybe refused, to recognize and admit until then.
“It hurts to not see you, Rukawa. My heart hurt more each day I didn’t see you.”
He pulled back.
“Do’ahou.”
“What? You-”
His eyes were what stopped me from finishing that sentence (… or insult? Ummm… heh, what!) and I- we never knew who moved first, who pulled the other one against him first, but I knew that not even a second later, his lips were on mine and mine on his in the softest of kisses.
My mind went blank when we both pulled back slightly, our foreheads pressed together, our gaze not quite meeting. I couldn’t speak, couldn’t think, couldn’t move. I was feeling dizzy and light-headed, warm and giddy and just, just…
We literally collapsed into each others’ arms, not yet fully understanding what had happened, only moving unconsciously as our lips met again and this time I tasted him, shy but hot and hungry and nothing else mattered anymore.
I remember wiping away the saliva trickling down my chin before reaching up to run my thumb gently over his lower lip, red and glistening from our kiss.
And then reality suddenly hit when my eyes met his again and-
“I’m not in love with you kitsune!”
Rukawa only blinked repeatedly as a response, completely stunned and something like hurt seemed to flash across his usually expressionless ice orbs. Something painful tugged at my heart again.
“Wait! That’s not- I mean, I didn’t-” I faltered, uncertain of what to say, before heatedly asking him, “how do you feel about me Rukawa?”
What followed was not exactly an awkward silence, but nor was it comfortable.
My heart throbbed again.
And reality hit me again like a speeding truck.
I was afraid.
Afraid that what had happened meant absolutely nothing to him, that it was all in the heat of the moment, that I had made a fool of myself. I was mad at my body for betraying me so easily, scared that I wouldn’t be able to hide how I truly felt.
And then, as if he was only a faint whisper of the wind, a murmur that could have been missed-
“I love you, Hanamichi.”
I stopped trembling.
His nose gently bumped into mine, his deep, slightly scratchy voice slowly rising.
“Aishiteru, do’ahou.”
“Hey! What did you just call me you baka kitsune! How dare you tell me- you- you told me…”
I saw the corners of his mouth curl up slightly, his blue eyes lighting up in a mixture of mischief, relief and happiness as he dropped another soft kiss on my lips.
“Ru- Rukawa, you really…”
A small nod and I realized that he was actually terrified. It was all that took for me to practically melt into his arms and bury my head into the crook of his neck.
He loved me! He loved me!
We laid there for a while, until the sky turned completely dark, watching the stars appear one by one.
But I still had one unanswered question.
“Hey, Rukawa?”
“Kaede.”
“What? Oh, Kaede.”
“…”
“Why did you suddenly disappear? Were you avoiding me?”
His fingers stopped moving over my arm and he remained silent for a moment.
“Yes.”
“But… why?”
“The letter.”
“What?”
“The letter you were reading that day, from Akagi-san.”
“Haruko?”
“Hnn.”
“What about it?”
“… Jealous.”
I bolted up into a seating position and out of his embrace.
“WHAT?”
“… I know, that was stupid.”
“That was it? Stupid fox! Haruko-san writes each week to keep me updated on the team since they can’t come visit me that often!”
“Hearbroken.”
“… What?”
"I was heartbroken."
"What?"
“You were in love with her.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“I guess it would make sense for you - and everyone else - to believe that…”
“Hnn.”
“I wasn’t.”
“Huh?”
“I’ve realized today that I felt towards her had more to with infatuation and brotherly feelings… In fact,” I chuckled, “I guess that had I been her brother you could’ve said that I had a sister complex.”
“Hnn.”
“It’s the truth, kitsune. Not seeing you pained me more than not seeing her… In fact, ever since the last time I saw you almost three weeks ago, I barely thought about her anymore when I was alone. You were always on my mind ever since the first day I saw you here… And you know what else?”
“Hum?”
“I kept playing the game because of you, not her.”
Kaede remained quiet a few seconds before whispering: “And you know what?”
“Mmm?”
“I couldn’t stop thinking of you ever since that day either. Couldn’t forget that image of you.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re a tensai?”
I flushed and laughed, remember those words.
“You were beautiful.”
“Huh?”
“My breath caught in my throat the moment when you looked at me. I got scared and I ran off… but I couldn’t keep away from you and kept coming back each day. But I first thought that I was just trying to convince myself that you didn’t make my heart wasn’t fluttering or anything whenever I saw you.”
I shook my head and chuckled running a hand through his soft, black hair.
“We’re both idiots. I felt the same.”
“I tried convincing myself I wasn’t jealous.”
“I tried telling myself I didn’t miss you.”
“But I was. Very much.”
“And I did. Terribly.”
“Two idiots… perfect match, I’d say.”
“Ah, Kaede?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you too.”
And Kaede gave me the first of those rare and precious smiles he gave only to me, along with a chaste kiss that did not fail to make me feel giddy.
We later fell asleep on the beach and it wasn’t until morning that one of my therapists, Dr. Yamane this time, found us.
It’s almost hard to believe, isn’t it?
My- his- our first real kiss was almost an accident too.
After that we kept meeting each morning at that same place, shyly holding hands and watching the waves together. Sometimes he came to visit me when the others came, and other times he would come see me in the evening, and we’d stroll along the beach or even go out. He insisted on feeding me something other than hospital foods and the sweets I was stuffing myself with.
Everyone noticed my shift in mood, and soon the hospital staff and my friends were back at teasing and scowling me.
“I’m guessing everything’s been solved?” Youhei asked me the following time he came to visit me after that fateful day. The rest of the guntai had fled the room in favour of the cafeteria (where else) after I had given them a few headbutts for making fun of my red hair (once again).
I nodded, grinning brightly.
“Yup, the others will be happy to know that Hanamichi Sakuragi the tensai is back.”
I laughed and patted my best friend on the back. “Indeed, indeed, Youhei Mito!”
“Do’ahou.”
“Baka kitsune! Don’t scare me like that! Don’t you have practice right now?”
“Day off, Ha- ‘ahou.”
“And you just had to come piss me off with your presence, fox-boy!”
“Do’ahou.”
Youhei laughed and excused himself to get some drinks. Right as he left the room, he sent us a seemingly knowing smile before disappearing.
Kitsune turned to me, muttering something.
“What?”
“He knows.”
“Wha-? But-”
“He’s your best friend, and from what I’ve seen so far, he’s quite good at reading people… Not that you’re all that hard to read to start with.”
“What does that mean?”
“…”
“FOX-BOY! WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?”
Nurse Honami’s head popped through the doorway of my room. “Sakuragi-kun! Be quiet! If you want to be loud go outside!”
I blushed. “Sorry, Honami-san.”
“Really Hana-chan, we nurses don’t know what to do with you anymore…”
“DON’T CALL ME THAT!”
“Hanamichi Sakuragi, be quiet!”
“… Sorry nurse.”
Fox-boy smirked. I retaliated by giving him the silence treatment… for ten minutes.
We continued this charade during the rest of my therapy at the hospital. Other than Yamane-san, nobody really knew about our situation… well, except for maybe nurse Yamato, who’d kept giggling whenever she came to check on me and kitsune was there.
And the day that I was finally released from the hospital and sent home back, I just could not wait for Kaede to come back soon after to start a new basketball season together and wow the country as the ‘Golden Pair’ again.
And mostly, to be simply be able to see each other each day and be together.
---
February 27, 2006
Ahwawawawa! Four months? Don’t kill me! I’m sorry! On the other hand, this took me less than a day to write. I should go to bed soon, it’s past 4 in the morning already for me…
Yes, I know this part is much less funny than the rest, but since the rest of the characters didn’t appear very much, it seemed harder to make up comical situations. I apologize to those of you who were expecting to get some good laughs form this one like all the previous chapters.
By the way all of the doctors and nurses names in here givenods to some of my favourite (manga) authors. If you can figure out who each of them are, I congratulate you, you make me proud!
Aah, I am now the proud owner of the final volume (31) of Slam Dunk… the French version, that is. Actually, it was published more than a year ago but I didn’t discover Slam Dunk until last summer and managed to finish the entire series in barely a few months by borrowing whichever number I could find at the ‘Grande Bibliotheque Nationale’ in Montreal. In other words, I didn’t even read the story in order. Heh! (I tend to do that with most French-published mangas now, grab whatever I can when I really like a serie.)
The part where Hanamichi is talking with Dr. Takanaga while leaving the beach, on the first day he sees Rukawa, was taken out directly from the ending in volume 31. I actually translated the French version to what we have here, quite literally, and also gave a slightly altered version of the scene (because we all know that they eyes didn't cross and they instantly fell madly in love!). So if any of it seems kind of awkward, I'm sorryyyy.
Later.
[edit: June 02, 2006]
Fanart! HERE.
And new: same fanart, but manipulated and colored! HERE.
Author: Viv
Genre: romance/angst/slight humor
Rating: PG
Fandom: Slam Dunk [book - manga]
Pairing: HanaRu
Disclaimer: I barely know a lick about basketball, hadn’t it been for the books.
Summary: … You want me to talk about what? [Hanamichi’s POV - multi-parts: (01) (02) (03) ( 04)]
Author's note: Not as much humor in this part as in the previous ones, I’m afraid. Aaaah, well. Enjoy.
Hi.
… I know, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? Well, what else would you expect from a busy university student?
Well that isn’t entirely true, I suppose. Right after I told you guys about my sweetest kiss (… I’m NOT blushing!), I guess I needed some time to take a break.
Not a break from Kaede! Not at all!
Not that he’d even accept one… which is a good thing, I believe.
Anyway, that trip down memory lane got me quite emotional and when Kaede found me not long, he pretty much started panicking when he realized that I was - or at least, have been - crying. That took me a good hour or so to reassure him that the reason why my eyes were red (and that my nose was possibly running) wasn’t because I was sad or hurt. In fact, I was maybe kind of ashamed that he’d seen me in that state. (I know Rukawa feels embarrassed too whenever he gets a tad bit more emotional than his usual - you’d think he was a block of ice if he didn’t have eyes or if you didn’t know him well enough.)
When I eventually convinced him that I was actually reminiscing about my seventeen birthday, kitsune turned a interesting shade of red, remembering that he was pretty much the one who gave it away to our friends.
But, hey, we did a pretty darn job of keeping our relationship secret for almost a year! It wasn’t that hard in public really, since we tended - and still do - to butt heads and fight all the times on everything, although our techniques for venting our frustrations or anger were different.
I yelled at him a lot in public and then would give him the silent treatment when we were alone. It was the other way around for him; in public he barely talked, preferring to mock me by not responding to my antics, while away from the prying eyes of others he’d always be seeking me out with a somewhat accusing tone in his voice.
It had always been like that.
My first real willing kiss (and coincidentally, his too) happened during my rehabilitation period after my back injury from the Sannoh game. Rukawa’s training camp with the Japan junior team happened to be close by the hospital where I was staying.
It became a habit for me to go to the nearby beach each morning. At first I would go there every few days to read letters from Haruko-san and eventually the newspapers that spoke of the Shohoku team and the letters from my teammates that Youhei never failed to bring each week. Of course the rest of the team also came to visit me regularly and asking for news of the kitsune at the same time. I would usually just growl out something about seeing him sometimes jogging by whenever I went to the beach before wolfing down the chocolates and baked sweets that they always thought of bringing.
After that, when Mitchy, Ryochin or one of the guntai would lend me a manga (or occasionally, a book from Megane-kun) I took it to go to the beach each day to read it (or a chapter at a time whenever it was a novel) before taking some time to watch the waves before me. I was somewhat fascinated by the seemingly never ending ocean and its slow movements, the few birds circling around the beach and the occasional cool breeze. The lack of big noises reminded to breathe and to slow down my rhythm of life a bit. Those few hours I spent by myself was enough to calm me down and push me through the day and the at first excruciatingly painful therapy sessions I would go through. Sometimes when it got too much, I would also go to the beach in the late evening to unwind.
Originally the doctors and nurses were against it, but when one of my therapists noticed that my mood seemed to be much better on days when she would pick me up (or rather, catch me) at the beach in the morning, she pointed it out to the nurses and the doctor and other therapists following my progress. Eventually they seemed to realize that what she said was true and soon I was even encouraged to go to the beach in the morning.
I said before that the beach was what calmed me the most, right? Well at first it was, but then eventually I had to convince myself that it still was so.
What happened?
Rukawa Kaede happened, that’s what.
I remember the first letter I got from Haruko-chan (even now kitsune still seems to be a bit miffed whenever I call her that way… then again, that could mean nothing to the glares Gori still directs to me occasionally). I was giddy and happy because at that time I was fairly sure I was still quite infatuated with her (though I thought it was love back then) and rushed to read it at the beach where no one would disturb me.
The moment she mentioned Rukawa, however, I grew quite annoyed before realized that I had also felt a slight pinch to my heart. I attributed that to be hurt that Haruko-chan still had a deep crush on my archrival.
That was, until I looked up from the letter and saw him running by.
I remember him pausing and staring at me - weeks later I would find out that he had been shocked and frozen at my sight - before finally settling on pulling open the jacket of his uniform to show me the “Japan” boldly imprinted across his chest on his game uniform.
I admit, I was infuriated and had started yelling at him the moment he turned his back to me and resumed his run.
Then he stopped again and I found myself falling silent, not understanding why he was just standing there.
Rukawa was only a few meters away from, a hand over his eyes to shield them from the sun as he seemed to watch something in the far, far horizon. It was a if he was in a world of his own.
I saw the waves close to licking the soles of his sneakers, the rays of sun making his slightly (if barely) darkened skin glow and his sweat glistens over his body, I watched as a stronger breeze caused his windbreaker to flap away from his body, as it ruffled his hair, his deep, cold blue eyes, bright even under the shade his hand created, seemed to glazed over with something I couldn’t quite recognized.
It was fleeting moment, and in that very brief moment I felt my heart suddenly flutter, my gaze refusing to leave his sight.
What broke me out of my trance - and consequently, the moment - was one of my therapists calling out to me. It was strange, really, how everything suddenly became so- so ordinary again.
Suddenly I could hear the birds chirping again, I could hear the waves crashing close to Rukawa’s feet, I could hear the rumbling of an airplane, and everything seemed a bit less bright, a bit less- less- I didn’t know what to think exactly. With a start, I realized that the airplane that I had heard was still in my line of vision and remember Rukawa’s goal and dream.
One day he would leave for America, probably the United States.
I felt another painful tug at my heart and started wondering if it wasn’t my heart that was having a problem instead of my back.
Rukawa was still standing there when I got up and slowly turned around to face Dr. Takanaga, my gaze lingering behind, not quite ready to leave his figure.
“It’s time.”
Takanaga-san’s voice pulled my thoughts away from the kitsune. I grinned at her though inside I was still confused by what had just happened.
“Today, it will be a bit harder.”
“Uh huh, let’s go!”
The doctor chuckled. I knew she was growing fond of me. In fact, the entire staff was, even if they kept scowling me for being loud and obnoxious - hey, they just wouldn’t admit how much they adored me! I mean who wouldn’t?
NYHAHAHAHAHAHA!
“So, you’re not scared? You’ll make it through, Sakuragi-kun?”
“Ha ha ha! What kind of question is that!”
Behind me, I heard soft footsteps moving away and glanced behind me to see Rukawa walking away.
Another tug at my heart.
I ignored and directed my gaze to Takanaga-san who was walking slightly behind me and smiled.
“Because I’m a tensai.”
My eyes had unwillingly strayed back to his tall form halfway between my belated answer.
And then, as if he had felt my eyes watching him, he suddenly stopped, his head turned sideways and his icy blue orbs stared straight into my brown ones.
I faltered in my steps, my smile slipped off my lips and I was unable to pry my gaze away from his. I thought I had seen something flicker across his eyes, and was rendered rooted to the spot. I could feel my cheeks burning.
Rukawa blinked and abruptly turned away, resuming his jogging. I followed his movements, my hands clenching into fists before walking again back to the hospital.
I came back the next day. That was when I started going to the beach two days in a row.
I saw Rukawa again.
This time, he came earlier. And yet again, he paused for a moment to look at the ocean before glaring at me briefly but intensely, and running off again.
Each day I came back at the same time, a book in hand to make it look so that I was not just waiting for someone, and each day he would come at exactly the same time, about an hour into my reading.
But his figure would cut into the sunlight and stay there a bit more each day, a bit closer each time.
My heart raced a bit more each morning.
His eyes always crossed mine before leaving.
I tried convincing myself that I still went there each day for the beach and its atmosphere.
I tried telling myself that I wasn’t waiting for him to appear each day, that it wasn’t the sight of him that lifted my mood, that he wasn’t making my heart react.
I tried telling myself that my heart would skip a beat or two in his presence only because he annoyed me, and nothing else. I wouldn’t admit how mesmerized by him I was.
And then one morning a letter from Haruko-chan flew out of my hand and landed at his feet.
I remembered him staring at the sheet of paper at lying in the sand. Remembered how he bent down to pick it up, how he turned to look at me, before taking those few steps that separated us.
I remembered the feel of his warm fingers grazing mine when he handed back the letter, and remembered how his eyes darkened when he saw the signature on it. Remembered how his gaze met mine, intense and much too piercing.
I didn’t see him the following morning.
Nor the day after.
I tried to remind myself that I wasn’t going to the beach to see him.
I slowly sunk back into depression, yet I was still unwilling to admit I missed the fox-boy.
My guntai, who’d come see me every few afternoons, kept me occupied during those times. Kogure, Mitchy, Gori and Ryochin came each week-end and the rest of the team came along occasionally, like I said. Other teams’ members also came to see me.
But that didn’t change the fact that once they were gone, I was alone again.
And it felt lonely even though I had already lived by myself for a few years already.
Eventually they all started noticing that something was troubling me much more than I was willing to admit. It was one Sunday morning that Youhei asked me about it. He had sent the rest of the guntai to go buy food and such and they had quickly, strangely enough, complied without a single quip of protest.
“Hanamichi?”
“Hum?”
“Is something bothering you?”
I looked up in surprise.
“We all know something is wrong, Hanamichi. Everyone’s noticed, even Sendoh was wondering why you hadn’t been quite yourself lately. Heck, Kyota is worried and you know he’s not quite the brightest the bulb in the box when it comes to people’s feelings.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I managed to stammer.
“Hanamichi. I’m your best friend, I think I know you enough to notice when you’re not exactly yourself. What’s going on, buddy.”
“Absolutely nothing!”
“Hanamichi! You smile but your eyes seem dull, you laugh but it sounds empty, you talk less and less whenever we come to see you, and the nurses and doctors are telling that you’ve barely made any progress over the last two weeks even though you started out so well. What else do you want me to point out?”
“I- I just… I don’t know.”
I thought of blue.
Blue ocean.
Blue sky.
Blue eyes.
My heart thumped painfully.
“Hanamichi?”
“I don’t know, Youhei.”
Youhei shook his head and smiled sadly before dropping a hand on my shoulder and squeezing it as if telling me that he’d wait for when I’d be ready to talk about it, but that I shouldn’t keep it to myself for too long. He never asked me again after that, but I could see the concern never quite leaving anyone’s eyes whenever they came to visit.
I started taking late evening trips to the beach again, trying to find some comfort in watching the sun set and the beach quieting down. I’d let the murmur of the waves lull me into a different world.
Where everything was blue.
Blue.
That was all that I saw when my eyes opened one evening while I was lying on the sand.
Blue.
Blue eyes.
Blue eyes that were crinkled in worry and suddenly blinked in shock when they met my gaze.
Something warm and slightly rough but gentle swept under the corner of my eyes and when I felt it move away, I realized that I was crying.
And that Rukawa was staring down at me, his eyes soft.
Before I knew it, my hands shot out to grab his shoulders, needing to feel his skin, his body, to make sure that I wasn’t making some kind of strange dream, that I wasn’t hallucinating. I didn’t want him to disappear again.
Rukawa turned out to be real and living, his eyes widening as he froze and stared at me longer.
I ruefully remember, as embarrassing as it was, screaming at him for the next minute or so. Shrieking, almost, before it all died down to whimpers and sobs.
“DON’T YOU EVER DISAPPEAR LIKE THAT AGAIN, YOU HEAR ME YOU STUPID FOX!”
“…”
“Don’t you dare avoid me! Never do that again! Never! Do you hear me kitsune? Do you hear me?”
I was still shaking when his arms slowly surrounded me and pulled me up against his chest, my hands gripping the front of his sweater, his fingers running up and down my back. A shiver ran through my body different from the previous ones.
“What did you do to me?”
His nose pressed closed to my ear, his smooth cheek against mine, I abandoned myself to the emotions that I had failed, or maybe refused, to recognize and admit until then.
“It hurts to not see you, Rukawa. My heart hurt more each day I didn’t see you.”
He pulled back.
“Do’ahou.”
“What? You-”
His eyes were what stopped me from finishing that sentence (… or insult? Ummm… heh, what!) and I- we never knew who moved first, who pulled the other one against him first, but I knew that not even a second later, his lips were on mine and mine on his in the softest of kisses.
My mind went blank when we both pulled back slightly, our foreheads pressed together, our gaze not quite meeting. I couldn’t speak, couldn’t think, couldn’t move. I was feeling dizzy and light-headed, warm and giddy and just, just…
We literally collapsed into each others’ arms, not yet fully understanding what had happened, only moving unconsciously as our lips met again and this time I tasted him, shy but hot and hungry and nothing else mattered anymore.
I remember wiping away the saliva trickling down my chin before reaching up to run my thumb gently over his lower lip, red and glistening from our kiss.
And then reality suddenly hit when my eyes met his again and-
“I’m not in love with you kitsune!”
Rukawa only blinked repeatedly as a response, completely stunned and something like hurt seemed to flash across his usually expressionless ice orbs. Something painful tugged at my heart again.
“Wait! That’s not- I mean, I didn’t-” I faltered, uncertain of what to say, before heatedly asking him, “how do you feel about me Rukawa?”
What followed was not exactly an awkward silence, but nor was it comfortable.
My heart throbbed again.
And reality hit me again like a speeding truck.
I was afraid.
Afraid that what had happened meant absolutely nothing to him, that it was all in the heat of the moment, that I had made a fool of myself. I was mad at my body for betraying me so easily, scared that I wouldn’t be able to hide how I truly felt.
And then, as if he was only a faint whisper of the wind, a murmur that could have been missed-
“I love you, Hanamichi.”
I stopped trembling.
His nose gently bumped into mine, his deep, slightly scratchy voice slowly rising.
“Aishiteru, do’ahou.”
“Hey! What did you just call me you baka kitsune! How dare you tell me- you- you told me…”
I saw the corners of his mouth curl up slightly, his blue eyes lighting up in a mixture of mischief, relief and happiness as he dropped another soft kiss on my lips.
“Ru- Rukawa, you really…”
A small nod and I realized that he was actually terrified. It was all that took for me to practically melt into his arms and bury my head into the crook of his neck.
He loved me! He loved me!
We laid there for a while, until the sky turned completely dark, watching the stars appear one by one.
But I still had one unanswered question.
“Hey, Rukawa?”
“Kaede.”
“What? Oh, Kaede.”
“…”
“Why did you suddenly disappear? Were you avoiding me?”
His fingers stopped moving over my arm and he remained silent for a moment.
“Yes.”
“But… why?”
“The letter.”
“What?”
“The letter you were reading that day, from Akagi-san.”
“Haruko?”
“Hnn.”
“What about it?”
“… Jealous.”
I bolted up into a seating position and out of his embrace.
“WHAT?”
“… I know, that was stupid.”
“That was it? Stupid fox! Haruko-san writes each week to keep me updated on the team since they can’t come visit me that often!”
“Hearbroken.”
“… What?”
"I was heartbroken."
"What?"
“You were in love with her.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“I guess it would make sense for you - and everyone else - to believe that…”
“Hnn.”
“I wasn’t.”
“Huh?”
“I’ve realized today that I felt towards her had more to with infatuation and brotherly feelings… In fact,” I chuckled, “I guess that had I been her brother you could’ve said that I had a sister complex.”
“Hnn.”
“It’s the truth, kitsune. Not seeing you pained me more than not seeing her… In fact, ever since the last time I saw you almost three weeks ago, I barely thought about her anymore when I was alone. You were always on my mind ever since the first day I saw you here… And you know what else?”
“Hum?”
“I kept playing the game because of you, not her.”
Kaede remained quiet a few seconds before whispering: “And you know what?”
“Mmm?”
“I couldn’t stop thinking of you ever since that day either. Couldn’t forget that image of you.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re a tensai?”
I flushed and laughed, remember those words.
“You were beautiful.”
“Huh?”
“My breath caught in my throat the moment when you looked at me. I got scared and I ran off… but I couldn’t keep away from you and kept coming back each day. But I first thought that I was just trying to convince myself that you didn’t make my heart wasn’t fluttering or anything whenever I saw you.”
I shook my head and chuckled running a hand through his soft, black hair.
“We’re both idiots. I felt the same.”
“I tried convincing myself I wasn’t jealous.”
“I tried telling myself I didn’t miss you.”
“But I was. Very much.”
“And I did. Terribly.”
“Two idiots… perfect match, I’d say.”
“Ah, Kaede?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you too.”
And Kaede gave me the first of those rare and precious smiles he gave only to me, along with a chaste kiss that did not fail to make me feel giddy.
We later fell asleep on the beach and it wasn’t until morning that one of my therapists, Dr. Yamane this time, found us.
It’s almost hard to believe, isn’t it?
My- his- our first real kiss was almost an accident too.
After that we kept meeting each morning at that same place, shyly holding hands and watching the waves together. Sometimes he came to visit me when the others came, and other times he would come see me in the evening, and we’d stroll along the beach or even go out. He insisted on feeding me something other than hospital foods and the sweets I was stuffing myself with.
Everyone noticed my shift in mood, and soon the hospital staff and my friends were back at teasing and scowling me.
“I’m guessing everything’s been solved?” Youhei asked me the following time he came to visit me after that fateful day. The rest of the guntai had fled the room in favour of the cafeteria (where else) after I had given them a few headbutts for making fun of my red hair (once again).
I nodded, grinning brightly.
“Yup, the others will be happy to know that Hanamichi Sakuragi the tensai is back.”
I laughed and patted my best friend on the back. “Indeed, indeed, Youhei Mito!”
“Do’ahou.”
“Baka kitsune! Don’t scare me like that! Don’t you have practice right now?”
“Day off, Ha- ‘ahou.”
“And you just had to come piss me off with your presence, fox-boy!”
“Do’ahou.”
Youhei laughed and excused himself to get some drinks. Right as he left the room, he sent us a seemingly knowing smile before disappearing.
Kitsune turned to me, muttering something.
“What?”
“He knows.”
“Wha-? But-”
“He’s your best friend, and from what I’ve seen so far, he’s quite good at reading people… Not that you’re all that hard to read to start with.”
“What does that mean?”
“…”
“FOX-BOY! WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?”
Nurse Honami’s head popped through the doorway of my room. “Sakuragi-kun! Be quiet! If you want to be loud go outside!”
I blushed. “Sorry, Honami-san.”
“Really Hana-chan, we nurses don’t know what to do with you anymore…”
“DON’T CALL ME THAT!”
“Hanamichi Sakuragi, be quiet!”
“… Sorry nurse.”
Fox-boy smirked. I retaliated by giving him the silence treatment… for ten minutes.
We continued this charade during the rest of my therapy at the hospital. Other than Yamane-san, nobody really knew about our situation… well, except for maybe nurse Yamato, who’d kept giggling whenever she came to check on me and kitsune was there.
And the day that I was finally released from the hospital and sent home back, I just could not wait for Kaede to come back soon after to start a new basketball season together and wow the country as the ‘Golden Pair’ again.
And mostly, to be simply be able to see each other each day and be together.
---
February 27, 2006
Ahwawawawa! Four months? Don’t kill me! I’m sorry! On the other hand, this took me less than a day to write. I should go to bed soon, it’s past 4 in the morning already for me…
Yes, I know this part is much less funny than the rest, but since the rest of the characters didn’t appear very much, it seemed harder to make up comical situations. I apologize to those of you who were expecting to get some good laughs form this one like all the previous chapters.
By the way all of the doctors and nurses names in here givenods to some of my favourite (manga) authors. If you can figure out who each of them are, I congratulate you, you make me proud!
Aah, I am now the proud owner of the final volume (31) of Slam Dunk… the French version, that is. Actually, it was published more than a year ago but I didn’t discover Slam Dunk until last summer and managed to finish the entire series in barely a few months by borrowing whichever number I could find at the ‘Grande Bibliotheque Nationale’ in Montreal. In other words, I didn’t even read the story in order. Heh! (I tend to do that with most French-published mangas now, grab whatever I can when I really like a serie.)
The part where Hanamichi is talking with Dr. Takanaga while leaving the beach, on the first day he sees Rukawa, was taken out directly from the ending in volume 31. I actually translated the French version to what we have here, quite literally, and also gave a slightly altered version of the scene (because we all know that they eyes didn't cross and they instantly fell madly in love!). So if any of it seems kind of awkward, I'm sorryyyy.
Later.
[edit: June 02, 2006]
Fanart! HERE.
And new: same fanart, but manipulated and colored! HERE.