Argument
Title: Argument
Author: Viv
Genre: humor, romance
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Simple Plan [music - band]
Pairing: Chuck/Pierre, light hints of David/Sebastien
Disclaimer: *quickly locks her bedroom door and grins innocently* They’re not in there, nope! (The use of ‘S.O.S.’ to mean ‘sex on stick’ really does come from me though.)
Summary: “Would you stop staring at Pierre like he was a piece of meat?” Plotless. Minimal actions. Poor Chuck. Poor Patrick. And Poor Jeff too. [standalone]
“Hey Chuck.”
“Mmm.”
“Chuck.”
“Mmm.”
“Charles.”
“Mmm.”
“Chucky.”
“Mmm.”
“Chuckster.”
“Mmm.”
“Chuckaroo.”
“Mmm.”
“Chucko.”
“Mmm.”
“Chuckorama.”
“Mmm.”
“Charleston.”
“Mmm.”
“Charlooloo.”
“.Mmm.”
“Charlot.”
“Mmm.”
“Charlie.”
“Mmm.”
“Chuckorino.”
“Mmm.”
“Shithead.”
“…”
“Would you stop staring at Pierre like he was a piece of meat?”
“WHAT?!” My head instantly snapped in the direction of a certain short dark-haired bassist.
“I told you that’d snap him out of it.” David gave our equally short blue-eyed bandmate a smug grin before looking back at me, his smirk only widening when he saw me glaring at him.
“What was that supposed to mean?”
“It means,” Sebastien supplied, “that you have the hots for a certain lead singer that goes by the name of Pierre Bouvier.”
“Excuse me?” I heard someone chuckling beside me and turned my head to look at the person.
“Yeah, so Andrew McMahon is pretty hot too. Tony Lovato is in every boys and girls’ wet dreams. John Nolan? Quite a turn-on. Oooh, and that Ian guy from Lostprophets? I’d hit that British thing any day. Anyway, going off subject now. They still all lack the certain charm that this French-Canadian possesses, don’t they?”
Silence.
Jeff looked away. “I am not part of this conversation.”
David snickered. “Patrick, we’d think you were gay with what you just said.”
“I’m not! I just happen to be very comfortable with my sexuality and masculinity; therefore I have no shame in admitting it if someone is hot, regardless of their gender. Beside, I said I thought they were hot, I never said I was attracted to any of them. I’m not gay, but I’m also not blind.”
“You just said John Nolan turned you on.”
“And, if I remember correctly, your exact words about Ian ---- was I’d hit that British thing any day. You’re so gay, you asshole.” Sebastien added, eyes narrowing.
“Well I was voicing what 50% of the population though of them.”
“Patrick, not even 10% of the population knows who any of them are.”
“I’m NOT gay!”
“No, you’re bi.”
“WHAT?!”
“Yes you are.” David countered.
“I thought we were supposed to make fun of Chuck! Last time I checked, that wasn’t my name!”
I frowned at Patrick. “But that’s not my name either.”
“What?”
“My name’s Charles André.”
“Screw you!”
“You wish!” And Seb quickly hid behind David before our Patrick could hit him.
“Patrick, you know you can’t have Chuck, he already has Pierre. Anyway,” David turned to look at me, an all-too-innocent smile on his lips, a slim finger pointing to my right “me thinks Chucky here needs a fine piece of ass and said piece of ass is swinging its fine ass around over there.”
And as a matter of fact, when I turned back to look at fine piece of a- I mean, Pierre, he had earphones on and was humming to some song, swinging his fine a- uh, hips around.
Sebastien giggled beside me.
“You know, you should really jump him instead of just staring at him like he was S.O.S.”
“… S-O-S? What does that have to do with me wanting to- uh, with my supposed sexual appetite?”
Jeff blinked at me. “S.O.S. Sex on stick.”
“How did you- no, never mind. I don’t want to know how you know that.”
Our oldest band member shrugged. “One of our fans came up with that. Some girl from Montreal. What was her name again?”
“Oh! I think it started with a ‘V’!” Patrick nodded, eyebrows furrowed in thoughts.
And I snapped.
“Look! I don’t care where you got that from! I just don’t know why the hell you think I want to fuck Pierre!”
“You don’t?” David frowned at me.
“No.”
“Oh, so you want Pierre to fuck you instead.”
“WHAT?! FUCK YOU!”
“Nah, nuh uh!” Seb wrapped his arms around David’s waist, glaring at me with mock anger, “he’s already mine!”
“Anyway,” Jeff continued, “there’s no point in hiding it, Chuck, I heard you moaning Pierre’s name last night in bed.”
“What- HOW?!”
“… We share the same room? I couldn’t sleep because of you.”
“I THOUGHT YOU WEREN’T PART OF THIS CONVERSATION!”
“Nah, this is way more fun than to just sit by and not say anything.”
“YOU- YOU- YOU’RE ALL-”
“What’s wrong with Chuck?”
“- SHITHEADS!”
Silence.
“Oh hey Pierre. We were just talking about you.” David grinned and patted Seb’s head.
“Really now? Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
“Depends on how you see it.”
“Is that why Chuck looks so red and about to have a heart attack?”
“Possibly so.”
“Interesting. Care to elaborate?”
“Oh,” Jeff waved a hand in dismissal, “Charles wants you to knock him.”
Pierre seemed puzzled but kept smiling. “Meaning?”
“Meaning,” Patrick replied nonchalantly, “he wants you to-”
“SHUT UP!”
“He wants you to- ”
“SHUT UP!”
“Hewantsyouperiod.”
“SHUT- WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?! GO TO HELL!”
“You’ll be going there before me, Chuck, for entertaining such thoughts about Pierre.”
“…”
“So, that’s the reason Pie-o.”
“That’s it?” I glared at Pierre.
“What do you mean that’s it?”
“What?”
“THAT’S IT?! PIERRE, JEFF HEARD US LAST NIGHT AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS ‘THAT’S IT’?!”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…” I winced.
“You mean- last night, when I heard you, Pierre was actually- ?”
“Uh,” Patrick blinked at Jeff before turning to look at Pierre, “so last night, when you left the room, it was for- uh, to… like, see Chuck?”
Pierre nodded sheepishly.
“Wait, so you mean, last night, when I heard Chuck, you guys were actually- OH GROSS I WAS IN THE SAME ROOM AND AWAKE!”
“… Uh. Yeah?”
Jeff promptly fainted.
Patrick turned extremely pale.
“Wait a second… how long has this been going on?” he asked weakly.
Pierre shrugged.
I glared at Pierre.
David and Seb shook their disapprovingly at us before dragging both Jeff and Patrick out of the room.
And Pierre instantly pushed me back against the couch before straddling me before leaning down to nibble on my earlobe.
“Care for a repeat performance of last night?” he murmured seductively in my ear before licking it.
I gulped audibly.
“You can be as loud as you want now.”
Oh. Hell.
---
September 4, 2005
Author: Viv
Genre: humor, romance
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Simple Plan [music - band]
Pairing: Chuck/Pierre, light hints of David/Sebastien
Disclaimer: *quickly locks her bedroom door and grins innocently* They’re not in there, nope! (The use of ‘S.O.S.’ to mean ‘sex on stick’ really does come from me though.)
Summary: “Would you stop staring at Pierre like he was a piece of meat?” Plotless. Minimal actions. Poor Chuck. Poor Patrick. And Poor Jeff too. [standalone]
“Hey Chuck.”
“Mmm.”
“Chuck.”
“Mmm.”
“Charles.”
“Mmm.”
“Chucky.”
“Mmm.”
“Chuckster.”
“Mmm.”
“Chuckaroo.”
“Mmm.”
“Chucko.”
“Mmm.”
“Chuckorama.”
“Mmm.”
“Charleston.”
“Mmm.”
“Charlooloo.”
“.Mmm.”
“Charlot.”
“Mmm.”
“Charlie.”
“Mmm.”
“Chuckorino.”
“Mmm.”
“Shithead.”
“…”
“Would you stop staring at Pierre like he was a piece of meat?”
“WHAT?!” My head instantly snapped in the direction of a certain short dark-haired bassist.
“I told you that’d snap him out of it.” David gave our equally short blue-eyed bandmate a smug grin before looking back at me, his smirk only widening when he saw me glaring at him.
“What was that supposed to mean?”
“It means,” Sebastien supplied, “that you have the hots for a certain lead singer that goes by the name of Pierre Bouvier.”
“Excuse me?” I heard someone chuckling beside me and turned my head to look at the person.
“Yeah, so Andrew McMahon is pretty hot too. Tony Lovato is in every boys and girls’ wet dreams. John Nolan? Quite a turn-on. Oooh, and that Ian guy from Lostprophets? I’d hit that British thing any day. Anyway, going off subject now. They still all lack the certain charm that this French-Canadian possesses, don’t they?”
Silence.
Jeff looked away. “I am not part of this conversation.”
David snickered. “Patrick, we’d think you were gay with what you just said.”
“I’m not! I just happen to be very comfortable with my sexuality and masculinity; therefore I have no shame in admitting it if someone is hot, regardless of their gender. Beside, I said I thought they were hot, I never said I was attracted to any of them. I’m not gay, but I’m also not blind.”
“You just said John Nolan turned you on.”
“And, if I remember correctly, your exact words about Ian ---- was I’d hit that British thing any day. You’re so gay, you asshole.” Sebastien added, eyes narrowing.
“Well I was voicing what 50% of the population though of them.”
“Patrick, not even 10% of the population knows who any of them are.”
“I’m NOT gay!”
“No, you’re bi.”
“WHAT?!”
“Yes you are.” David countered.
“I thought we were supposed to make fun of Chuck! Last time I checked, that wasn’t my name!”
I frowned at Patrick. “But that’s not my name either.”
“What?”
“My name’s Charles André.”
“Screw you!”
“You wish!” And Seb quickly hid behind David before our Patrick could hit him.
“Patrick, you know you can’t have Chuck, he already has Pierre. Anyway,” David turned to look at me, an all-too-innocent smile on his lips, a slim finger pointing to my right “me thinks Chucky here needs a fine piece of ass and said piece of ass is swinging its fine ass around over there.”
And as a matter of fact, when I turned back to look at fine piece of a- I mean, Pierre, he had earphones on and was humming to some song, swinging his fine a- uh, hips around.
Sebastien giggled beside me.
“You know, you should really jump him instead of just staring at him like he was S.O.S.”
“… S-O-S? What does that have to do with me wanting to- uh, with my supposed sexual appetite?”
Jeff blinked at me. “S.O.S. Sex on stick.”
“How did you- no, never mind. I don’t want to know how you know that.”
Our oldest band member shrugged. “One of our fans came up with that. Some girl from Montreal. What was her name again?”
“Oh! I think it started with a ‘V’!” Patrick nodded, eyebrows furrowed in thoughts.
And I snapped.
“Look! I don’t care where you got that from! I just don’t know why the hell you think I want to fuck Pierre!”
“You don’t?” David frowned at me.
“No.”
“Oh, so you want Pierre to fuck you instead.”
“WHAT?! FUCK YOU!”
“Nah, nuh uh!” Seb wrapped his arms around David’s waist, glaring at me with mock anger, “he’s already mine!”
“Anyway,” Jeff continued, “there’s no point in hiding it, Chuck, I heard you moaning Pierre’s name last night in bed.”
“What- HOW?!”
“… We share the same room? I couldn’t sleep because of you.”
“I THOUGHT YOU WEREN’T PART OF THIS CONVERSATION!”
“Nah, this is way more fun than to just sit by and not say anything.”
“YOU- YOU- YOU’RE ALL-”
“What’s wrong with Chuck?”
“- SHITHEADS!”
Silence.
“Oh hey Pierre. We were just talking about you.” David grinned and patted Seb’s head.
“Really now? Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
“Depends on how you see it.”
“Is that why Chuck looks so red and about to have a heart attack?”
“Possibly so.”
“Interesting. Care to elaborate?”
“Oh,” Jeff waved a hand in dismissal, “Charles wants you to knock him.”
Pierre seemed puzzled but kept smiling. “Meaning?”
“Meaning,” Patrick replied nonchalantly, “he wants you to-”
“SHUT UP!”
“He wants you to- ”
“SHUT UP!”
“Hewantsyouperiod.”
“SHUT- WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?! GO TO HELL!”
“You’ll be going there before me, Chuck, for entertaining such thoughts about Pierre.”
“…”
“So, that’s the reason Pie-o.”
“That’s it?” I glared at Pierre.
“What do you mean that’s it?”
“What?”
“THAT’S IT?! PIERRE, JEFF HEARD US LAST NIGHT AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS ‘THAT’S IT’?!”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…” I winced.
“You mean- last night, when I heard you, Pierre was actually- ?”
“Uh,” Patrick blinked at Jeff before turning to look at Pierre, “so last night, when you left the room, it was for- uh, to… like, see Chuck?”
Pierre nodded sheepishly.
“Wait, so you mean, last night, when I heard Chuck, you guys were actually- OH GROSS I WAS IN THE SAME ROOM AND AWAKE!”
“… Uh. Yeah?”
Jeff promptly fainted.
Patrick turned extremely pale.
“Wait a second… how long has this been going on?” he asked weakly.
Pierre shrugged.
I glared at Pierre.
David and Seb shook their disapprovingly at us before dragging both Jeff and Patrick out of the room.
And Pierre instantly pushed me back against the couch before straddling me before leaning down to nibble on my earlobe.
“Care for a repeat performance of last night?” he murmured seductively in my ear before licking it.
I gulped audibly.
“You can be as loud as you want now.”
Oh. Hell.
---
September 4, 2005