(no subject)
When I woke up this morning I had that feeling which I normally associate with a 'dark' day that is going to drag me down and depress me irrespective of what it holds.
The difference was that this time I was sort of able to put myself outside the feeling, shut it off, examine it and put it away.
Today doesn't hold any expected nice stuff. The weather is horrible and wet. The house is still crumbling round my ears. Money still barely goes as far as it should. And I don't have the sort of job where I can actually use my abilities very well.
But I have a partner who I love, who loves me. I have good friends.
I've stopped dwelling on the past in a negative way. I've generally stopped fearing the future, except where something in particular happens. I'm learning to enjoy the now.
I like myself much better than I used to.
It all sounds like a mantra. Or a life-plan. Or something.
But I'm not going to analyse it. I'm going to get this shitty day started and over with, and then do something else. It's nearly the weekend.
I could have felt depressed today. But I don't think I'll bother. It's not......? It's not worth it.
:)
The difference was that this time I was sort of able to put myself outside the feeling, shut it off, examine it and put it away.
Today doesn't hold any expected nice stuff. The weather is horrible and wet. The house is still crumbling round my ears. Money still barely goes as far as it should. And I don't have the sort of job where I can actually use my abilities very well.
But I have a partner who I love, who loves me. I have good friends.
I've stopped dwelling on the past in a negative way. I've generally stopped fearing the future, except where something in particular happens. I'm learning to enjoy the now.
I like myself much better than I used to.
It all sounds like a mantra. Or a life-plan. Or something.
But I'm not going to analyse it. I'm going to get this shitty day started and over with, and then do something else. It's nearly the weekend.
I could have felt depressed today. But I don't think I'll bother. It's not......? It's not worth it.
:)