(no subject)
I need to hire a ghostwriter for fight sequences. Also it's incredibly hard to write Warhammer 40k fiction if you can't write fight scenes for shit. Also also it's hard to write 40k fiction if you can't bring yourself to write kinda purple. I feel like my lede graf in this thing I'm working on is RIDICULOUS but I might be oversensitive to purpleness in my prose. (The bits I've posted about Fimimunda are ridiculous. This is unrelated to them and is in fact part of my Ridiculous World-Building Project That Came Into Existence Solely To Justify My Chemical Romance's Black Parade Uniforms)
THE PARAGRAPH IN QUESTION:
Flarelight fell in intermittent stripes through shattered holes in the great stone wall; fragments of stained glass still clung in places to what was left of windowframes, pouring patches of color onto the scene below. The building had once been a transit terminal; now it was a charnel-house.
HOW CAN PEOPLE TAKE THEMSELVES SERIOUSLY WRITING THINGS LIKE THIS
And then my little fireteam of ELITE GUARDSMEN spend the whole thing swearing at each other and smarting off on the voxcasters because I can't maintain srs
THE PARAGRAPH IN QUESTION:
Flarelight fell in intermittent stripes through shattered holes in the great stone wall; fragments of stained glass still clung in places to what was left of windowframes, pouring patches of color onto the scene below. The building had once been a transit terminal; now it was a charnel-house.
HOW CAN PEOPLE TAKE THEMSELVES SERIOUSLY WRITING THINGS LIKE THIS
And then my little fireteam of ELITE GUARDSMEN spend the whole thing swearing at each other and smarting off on the voxcasters because I can't maintain srs