Comments | chiiyo86: Before I Sleep

chiiyo86

Before I Sleep

Oct 03, 2009 22:54

Title: Before I Sleep
Characters: John, Dean, Sam, OFC
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Supernatural related.
Summary: It's hard being a father, but John does what he has to do. Preseries.
A/N: Written for the comment fic meme on sickdean, in answer to the prompt: "John, Teen!Dean, gen. John gets a call from school when Dean passes out due to ( Read more... )

comment fic, english, spn fic

Comments 10

noirbabalon October 5 2009, 06:41:56 UTC

I like the interaction between the boys and the trick Sam plays to stay with Dean. I can so easily hear their voices in this.

I also like the "no apologies" attitude you give John (although your John might be a little harder than mine :-) ).

Nice little moment for them. Thanks for sharing :-)

chiiyo86 October 5 2009, 07:39:30 UTC

Thank you! I'm happy you could "hear their voices", it was my first time at writing the boys as teenagers. As for John, we all have "our" John! I haven't written a lot of John (it was my first try at his POV), but mine is definitely rough around the edges.

labseraph October 5 2009, 08:06:59 UTC

I like how you fleshed them out with true character voices here. However, I submit that John is unlikely to refer to his oldest child as stupid (re para 3), but perhaps it is meant to infer on his mental state due to exhaustion. YMMV.

Lovely stuff.

chiiyo86 October 5 2009, 08:34:55 UTC

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it! It was a lot of "firsts" for me: firt time at writing teenchester, first time at writing from John's POV.

I see what you mean about the "stupid"; it was supposed to convey John's mix of annoyance and worry, but I'm not a native speaker, so sometimes the words I use don't convey exactly what I want them to convey :)

labseraph October 7 2009, 06:11:53 UTC

Although you are not a native speaker, your crafting of the fic is perfectly lovely.

Do keep writing; I look forward to seeing your name in the community newsletter.

*hugs*

aegean_lethe October 6 2009, 00:44:45 UTC

Oh I love the way two of them exchange their looks, so cute, it's like they are sharing secrets Haha
but why Dean is always the one gets hurt*wails*

chiiyo86 October 6 2009, 19:44:29 UTC

Well, it was written for sick/hurt Dean comment fic meme, so being mean to Dean was kind of a given :D I'm glad you liked it, thanks for reading and commenting!

keerawa October 6 2009, 02:46:55 UTC

I love Sam turning on the waterworks so he can stay and look after Dean. Also, I think John underestimates just how freaking terrifying he is to others.

chiiyo86 October 6 2009, 19:41:50 UTC

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it! You're right, John is an impressive guy.

somer November 1 2019, 11:41:59 UTC

aldfkgfhfflalsk Damn, ouch. This hurt. Loved Sam wanting to stay with Dean. THIS WAS AWESOME!!