I miss my grandma...
I went to my parents on sunday, father's day. I was there for about an hour or two when my mom came back from my grandpa Bruce's house with some of grandma Kathy's old stuff. So, we sat in the den and looked at some of it. There was a fuzzy blue baby blanket that grandma said was to go to the first great-grandchild. I put it up to my face and I could just feel her. Her laundry soap smells so good. It sounds funny, but I love the smell of the soap my grandma used on her clothes. I use the same kind, but it never smells the same. I started crying a bit, not alot, just a tear or two. Then my mom pulled out this silver angel that I had given grandma that christmas. It was a prayer angel. The neat thing was, I gave her the angel that said "Serenity" on it. That really got me going. I told mom I had to go to the bathroom. I went upstairs sat down in the hallway and just cried. Really cried. It finally hit me that I wasn't going to see her again. I miss her so much. When I was in trouble at school, I always wanted to talk to her and grandpa Bruce. Earlier, to make matters worse, I was watching a home video with grandpa Ralph and grandma Faye was in it. It was from out big family vacatioin at Virginia Beach. He started crying and I had to leave the room. I miss both of them terribly. I can remember reading things like "don't wait til tomorrow to tell someone that you love them." I wish I could tell both of them just how much they meant to me and how much I miss them.
Grandma Faye was in so much pain in the last days that they had her on lots of meds to keep from hurting. The last rational thing she said to me was "DId they find the heart beat? Good. I love you." I told her I loved her too, but I'm not sure if she heard me.
When I went to see grandma Kathy, I thought she was just in the hospital cause she wasn't feeling good. (ALS) She wasn't in ICU or anything. So I only stayed for twenty minutes or so. I had plans to go to dinner with friends. She was alert and everything. Or so it seemed to me. I came in and grandpa said "it's Mindy." Grandma looked at him and kinda rolled her eyes, as if to say, "you dolt, I know my own grandaughter!" I got to show her recent pictures of the baby (ultrasound) and she looked pleased. By this time, her ALS was so advanced that she couldn't talk. After I left, I felt slightly guilty, like I should have stayed. Hours later, my dad called me and told me she had died. Just like that. I was shocked. Because with grandma Faye, I knew it was coming. Grandma Kathy's was a total shock. I think now I'm juts starting to realize it...and it hurts. Lots.
Tell everyone you love that you love them. Don't let it wait. Please. You'll regret not telling them how wonderful they are and how much you love them. I'd give anything to be able to tell them I love them.
I hurt. My heart hurts...
Grandma Faye was in so much pain in the last days that they had her on lots of meds to keep from hurting. The last rational thing she said to me was "DId they find the heart beat? Good. I love you." I told her I loved her too, but I'm not sure if she heard me.
When I went to see grandma Kathy, I thought she was just in the hospital cause she wasn't feeling good. (ALS) She wasn't in ICU or anything. So I only stayed for twenty minutes or so. I had plans to go to dinner with friends. She was alert and everything. Or so it seemed to me. I came in and grandpa said "it's Mindy." Grandma looked at him and kinda rolled her eyes, as if to say, "you dolt, I know my own grandaughter!" I got to show her recent pictures of the baby (ultrasound) and she looked pleased. By this time, her ALS was so advanced that she couldn't talk. After I left, I felt slightly guilty, like I should have stayed. Hours later, my dad called me and told me she had died. Just like that. I was shocked. Because with grandma Faye, I knew it was coming. Grandma Kathy's was a total shock. I think now I'm juts starting to realize it...and it hurts. Lots.
Tell everyone you love that you love them. Don't let it wait. Please. You'll regret not telling them how wonderful they are and how much you love them. I'd give anything to be able to tell them I love them.
I hurt. My heart hurts...