101 Best Bad Funny Puns, Part 2
51. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? A tire.
52. The guy who invented the door knocker got a no-bell prize.
53. German sausage jokes are just the wurst.
54. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
55. What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist.
56. How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.
57. The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working, with no explanation. It doesn’t make any cents.
58. Sure, I drink brake fluid. But I can stop anytime!
59. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs stuffed in your mailbox? Bill.
30. Somebody stole all my lamps. I couldn’t be more de-lighted!
61. I bought a boat because it was for sail.
62. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
63. How did the picture end up in jail? It was framed!
64. My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve!
65. Coffee has a rough time in our house. It gets mugged every single morning!
66. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
67. What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter!
68. What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabee!
69. Why was the baby ant confused? Because all his uncles were ants!
70. I just found out that I'm color blind. The news came completely out of the green!
71. Why didn't the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
72. Who is the penguin's favorite Aunt? Aunt-Arctica!
73. What should a lawyer always wear to a court? A good lawsuit!
74. The quickest way to make antifreeze? Just steal her blanket!
75. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
76. Apple is designing a new automatic car. But they're having trouble installing Windows!
77. I've started sleeping in our fireplace. Now I sleep like a log!
78. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
79. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink!
80. The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar. It was tense!
81. You really shouldn't be intimidated by advanced math… it's easy as pi!
82. What did the hamburger name its baby? Patty!
83. One lung said to another, “we be-lung together!”
84. I asked a Frenchman if he played video games. He said Wii.
85. Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
86. What did the duck say when she purchased new lipstick? Put it on my bill!
87. My parents said I can't drink coffee anymore. Or else they'll ground me!
88. What did syrup to the waffle? I love you a waffle lot!
89. My wife refuses to go to a nude beach with me. I think she's just being clothes-minded!
90. Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie!
91. I'm no cheetah, you're lion!
92. What did the ranch say when somebody opened the refrigerator? "Hey, close the door! I'm dressing!"
93. I wanted to take pictures of the fog this morning but I mist my chance. I guess I could dew it tomorrow!
94. My dad unfortunately passed away when we couldn't remember his blood type. His last words to us were, "Be positive!"
95. What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.
96. Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
97. What did the buffalo say to his son? Bison.
98. Why should you never trust a train? They have loco motives.
99. A cabbage and celery walk into a bar and the cabbage gets served first because he was a head.
100. What’s America's favorite soda? Mini soda.
101. What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back for seconds.