What is the measure of one’s strength?
Title: What is the measure of one’s strength?
Pairing: Kangteuk
Subject: , angst,
Rating: PG
Summary: We know he’s strong physically, but does it measure up to Leader’s emotional strength?
a/n: because I am so emotional right now.. Kangin.. take care.. You are one of the first members I fell in love with (next to Ryeowook).
Staring at his window Kangin recalls why he was there in the first place. He knew his fate before he entered this business: that is to serve his beloved country when the right time comes. It is in this mindset that he prepared himself when that day comes.
Faced with troubles, he had decided this for himself. Maybe this was his scapegoat but it was his only choice. In his heart he knew it was not the best option: it was the only option. Despite his Physique, he has a heart of a true person. His strength was immeasurable and other members commend him for that yet his heart is fragile. He may not be the person that people thinks he is but he is in fact a caring person. In his heart, he cares for each member like a true brother. He personally encourages each member especially those who lack in confidence: Ryeowook being one of them.
Kangin confides to one person only, and that person is Leeteuk. As the leader of the group, he was assigned responsibilities over 12 other members, later on gaining another two members. Leeteuk loved each member equally but he cannot say the same for Kangin; In his heart, he knew he loved the bear more than the others.
Leeteuk always wear a smile that keeps every ELF and Member up on their feet working hard for the goal they had set. Yet every time problem arises, Leeteuk bears the heavy load like Atlas carrying the world on his shoulders.
It is known that Leeteuk, even though the leader, is fragile in nature and is known to cry a lot. But what the members commend about him is the fact that he can smile through every problem and continues to encourage others with that smile.
Leader’s tears are not shed for just fancy show off or to impress the fans, etc. Leeteuk’s tears are genuinely shed because his heart is pure and his intentions are true. Truly leader Leeteuk is worthy to be called special.
So what is the true measure of one’s strength, Outside or inside?
One may find several answers to this question yet can one find the true reason why?
It is this that makes Super Junior strong. They complement and help each other. Leeteuk is emotionally strong yet he lacks the physical strength while Kangin is physically strong yet weak with the matters of the heart.
From the start till now, it was a never ending battle for Super Junior. Although ELFs play a huge role in supporting all the endeavors this large group, at the end of the day, when lights shuts off and Leeteuk carries in his heart the burden of being a leader, It is KAngin who sits with him and embraces him and makes him feel safe and sheltered.
And when Kangin was in pain, not because he was physically hurt, Leeteuk would be the one wrap his tiny arms around him and cry for him, because he knows Kangin can’t really cry; or just because his pride won’t let him.
And in this sense that Kangin wants Leeteuk to remember him: the other part of Kangteuk, the physical realm, the strong arms that shelters him, the Appa of Super Junior.
And in this sense that Leteuk wants Kangin to remember him: the heart that cares, the eyes that cries rivers of tears for him, the Umma of Super Junior.
And as the sun shines on Korea, Kangin was greeted by fans and overwhelming love and support; his heart ached at the site of those who loved him. And though he promised not to cry, he did cry as his heart gave in to the emotions that were rushing at this very scene: where ELFs and Super Junior are all in one place, to send him off, to wish him good luck and to bid him farewell. And as he kneeled and bowed low to show his gratitude to the people who loved him, he cries not because this was good bye, he cried because he knew that this will be the start of his transformation: to be a better member, to be a stronger shelter, to be the Kangin that we want to remember.
And as he enters without looking back, he smiled to himself and muttered a few words.
“nothing can beat the strength of a leader.. no one can compare to my leeteuk.”
When all the goodbyes and tears have shed, Leeteuk sat by the same window Kangin stared at a few hours ago, and more tears fell from Leeteuk’s eyes. And in this time that he needed his warmth, but his Kangin is far and long will be back.
But he smiled nonetheless as he remembers: he has to have a strong heart for Kangin, so that kangin can have strong arms for him.
A/n: I cried.. seriously.. Kangin.. this is not goodbye.. we’ll see you soon^^