[drabble] Mask
Title: Mask
Character: Kikwang
Genre: Angst
Pairing(s): None
Rating: G
Summary: Trying to cope...
A/N: Add on to (Jealousy hurts and Numbness)
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mask
Knowing that no one in the band cared about him at all had broken something inside of KiKwang. Before where he had held some hope, was now an empty bleak spot. He spent every day being busy - practising and going to all of his schedules. Though he no longer had any hope of reconciling any more, he made sure to always have a smile on his face, those fake smiles that he once had and thought would never have to use again. After all, he didn't want to be a burden to anyone and worry them needlessly.
Now he started to hide behind a mask of cheerfulness and he acted the way that he did before he started to numb himself. Smiling all the time, making silly random comments, acting dumb. He started calling them more whenever he went on his schedule as well. With this, everyone around him sighed a breath of relief that he was back to normal, not bothering to look beneath the surface. The expectations about KiKwang both helped and hurt him as he didn't want anyone to worry about him, but at the same time, he couldn't help but wonder why no one could tell that it wasn't real.
This all started to weigh on KiKwang. He started to work out more and to sleep less. He also found that he started to not be able to sleep at night with only his members around. So KiKwang used those times in order for him to be able to lower his mask and show his true emotions.
Late in the dark of the night, he would be on the balcony looking out with a wistful sigh, sitting on the comfy chair that was there. Sometimes all he could do was sit there and cry till exhaustion overcomes him and he falls asleep. Other times, he would sing to himself. Sometimes he would bring a book to read or something to drink. It was in these moments where, although he was by himself, he didn't feel as lonely as when he was surrounded by everyone and he came to value this time that he had to himself.
Character: Kikwang
Genre: Angst
Pairing(s): None
Rating: G
Summary: Trying to cope...
A/N: Add on to (Jealousy hurts and Numbness)
--------
mask
Knowing that no one in the band cared about him at all had broken something inside of KiKwang. Before where he had held some hope, was now an empty bleak spot. He spent every day being busy - practising and going to all of his schedules. Though he no longer had any hope of reconciling any more, he made sure to always have a smile on his face, those fake smiles that he once had and thought would never have to use again. After all, he didn't want to be a burden to anyone and worry them needlessly.
Now he started to hide behind a mask of cheerfulness and he acted the way that he did before he started to numb himself. Smiling all the time, making silly random comments, acting dumb. He started calling them more whenever he went on his schedule as well. With this, everyone around him sighed a breath of relief that he was back to normal, not bothering to look beneath the surface. The expectations about KiKwang both helped and hurt him as he didn't want anyone to worry about him, but at the same time, he couldn't help but wonder why no one could tell that it wasn't real.
This all started to weigh on KiKwang. He started to work out more and to sleep less. He also found that he started to not be able to sleep at night with only his members around. So KiKwang used those times in order for him to be able to lower his mask and show his true emotions.
Late in the dark of the night, he would be on the balcony looking out with a wistful sigh, sitting on the comfy chair that was there. Sometimes all he could do was sit there and cry till exhaustion overcomes him and he falls asleep. Other times, he would sing to himself. Sometimes he would bring a book to read or something to drink. It was in these moments where, although he was by himself, he didn't feel as lonely as when he was surrounded by everyone and he came to value this time that he had to himself.