thoughts on being single
Ok so first off let me say that being single is a million times better than being in an unhappy relationship... and there are many things I often enjoy about being single... flirting and dating different people... going out or staying in alone.... the sanctity of my own thoughts and owning all my own decisions... etc... and at this particular point in my life I am not in a good place for a relationship (still recovering from my last relationship which ended last august and about to embark on a 3 month journey in israel this coming august and then possibly transfering to a new college out of state then probably joining the peace corps for a couple years and leaving the country and then grad school and then who knows...) but here I am... 4am... not wanting to go to sleep by myself without someone next to me, lonely, missing being in love, and i just feel like i'm a companionable person... i like my moments of solitude but i yearn for a deep daily loving connection too.... and managing ones sex life as a single person is just so confusing... I don't know ... I wonder when I'm ever goiing to stay in one place long enough to be with someone again... hopefully I'll be too busy to be lonely... but at least I've learned not to sacrifice my goals and dreams for a relationship... if someone really loves me they wont ask me or allow me to sacrifice things that are vital to me and comprimises will be reached without hostility and resentment... at least this is what I dream of.... so now I guess I'm just posting this in hopes other people will relate in some way and either be helped by my struggles or tell me theirs or give me some of their wisdom.
Namaste
Emily
Namaste
Emily