Random thought: Write some actual romance
I wish there were more stories (book, tv shows, etc) that took the time to show actual romantic relationships growing and changing. Too often writers stick to the "sexier" will-they-won't-they stage of a relationship, where everyone dances around saying, "I like you, but I'm not sure we should be together, it's too dangerous/we're too different/I can't make that commitment." And you know, that's fine for a while. People can be shy, and need time to gather their courage, or decide if it's worth it to potentially lose a friendship over this. In more action-adventure oriented stories, there probably is a lot of danger.
Most people don't have near crippling social anxiety, and even those who do still have a shot at love. All through history people have gotten together despite terrible situations and near constant danger. Unresolved sexual tension can only hang around for so long before it becomes predictable.
I want writers to write more actual relationships. Contrary to what romantic sit-coms espouse, going out with and later marrying someone does not destroy the excitement and fun in your life--and if it did, then maybe you should not be with this person. Presumably a couple is together because they have fun together, they have each other's back, and they want be with that person in the future. (I especially think more fantasy protagonists should get together. Yeah, it's dangerous trying to guard your lands against the invading Blood Fang armies when you're one of the last Shadow Knights, but really, is anyone going to be more sympathetic to your troubles than your BFF the Sorceress of Storms? She's sassy and tough, so who would be better company on your long journey through the Daggerwind Mountains to assassinate the Bleak General? No more sighing and saying, "Perhaps, in another time, we could have been more." Just ask her out! Doesn't have to be fancy, maybe a nice picnic, provided you bring the Elven Sun Wine.)
Now, I understand that a story thrives on conflict, and it's easy to create drama with the tried and true star-crossed lovers storyline. However, just getting to date someone you've had a crush on doesn't automatically make everything better. You still need to navigate what each person is looking for in a relationship, which not only differs from person to person but can also change in one person's lifetime. There can be conflict in the way each person envisions their future. Will you have no kids, or three kids? Will you continue with your career or set it aside to spend more time with your family? There's also external issues: what your family and friends think of the relationship, falling on hard times financially, old mistakes returning to haunt you, and so on. How will the couple navigate such issues? Will they be honest with each other, or want to hide things? Will it pull them apart, or can their relationship survive these problems? Don't forget that even as a couple grows together, each individual grows and changes on their own as well. Perhaps they're growing weary of city life, and want to move across the country to be nearer to family. How will their partner react?
Here are some examples of what I consider a well written romantic relationship (there will be some spoilers, but I'll try to avoid them as much as possible):
In the Mistborn series the protagonist is a young woman named Vin, who grew up on the street. Her life was hard and she learned that the only way to survive was to never trust people too much, and to be ruthless. Vin discovers she has supernatural powers that not many have, and she is taught to control them by the group of rebels she joins.
She falls in love with an idealistic young noble named Elend and they begin a relationship together, despite the power struggles they're caught in the middle of. Vin strives to protect him with her powers, but as he sees more of her terrifying and deadly abilities she worries that he's growing to fear her, and because she's not as educated as he is she worries he's becoming bored of her. Then Vin meets another assassin who shares her supernatural abilities. He appeals to her paranoid side by talking about how normal people can't understand their trials, and how nobles only treat their people as convenient tools. A major conflict Vin has is whether she can maintain a relationship with someone so different from her, and whether it would be better for everyone if she instead pursued a relationship with the more exciting assassin.
I thought this was a well written relationship because even though Vin and Elend care for each other, their values and experiences are very different. They need to find an understanding with one another, but Vin is not sure it's even worth it to try. She is also fascinated by this other young man, who she knows very little about but who shares her experiences.
There's also the tv show How I Met Your Mother which is a framed story about a man named Ted who tells his children how he met their mother. Included in his stories are his best friends, the couple Lily and Marshall.
Pretty much everything about that couple is a perfectly written relationship. Lily's desire to pursue her painting creates conflict when Marshall finds it difficult to support her. Marshall realizes his childhood dream career can't provide them with the money they'll need to start a family. And they're obsessed with double-dates! They struggle to find other coupled friends they can invite over for a night of fondue and charades.
The writers do a fantastic job in showing that, even though Marshall and Lily have been together for years, things are still not 100% perfect in their lives.
Anyway, that's it. Marriage isn't the opposite of romance, writers. Not every relationship needs to be self-destructive to be interesting.
Most people don't have near crippling social anxiety, and even those who do still have a shot at love. All through history people have gotten together despite terrible situations and near constant danger. Unresolved sexual tension can only hang around for so long before it becomes predictable.
I want writers to write more actual relationships. Contrary to what romantic sit-coms espouse, going out with and later marrying someone does not destroy the excitement and fun in your life--and if it did, then maybe you should not be with this person. Presumably a couple is together because they have fun together, they have each other's back, and they want be with that person in the future. (I especially think more fantasy protagonists should get together. Yeah, it's dangerous trying to guard your lands against the invading Blood Fang armies when you're one of the last Shadow Knights, but really, is anyone going to be more sympathetic to your troubles than your BFF the Sorceress of Storms? She's sassy and tough, so who would be better company on your long journey through the Daggerwind Mountains to assassinate the Bleak General? No more sighing and saying, "Perhaps, in another time, we could have been more." Just ask her out! Doesn't have to be fancy, maybe a nice picnic, provided you bring the Elven Sun Wine.)
Now, I understand that a story thrives on conflict, and it's easy to create drama with the tried and true star-crossed lovers storyline. However, just getting to date someone you've had a crush on doesn't automatically make everything better. You still need to navigate what each person is looking for in a relationship, which not only differs from person to person but can also change in one person's lifetime. There can be conflict in the way each person envisions their future. Will you have no kids, or three kids? Will you continue with your career or set it aside to spend more time with your family? There's also external issues: what your family and friends think of the relationship, falling on hard times financially, old mistakes returning to haunt you, and so on. How will the couple navigate such issues? Will they be honest with each other, or want to hide things? Will it pull them apart, or can their relationship survive these problems? Don't forget that even as a couple grows together, each individual grows and changes on their own as well. Perhaps they're growing weary of city life, and want to move across the country to be nearer to family. How will their partner react?
Here are some examples of what I consider a well written romantic relationship (there will be some spoilers, but I'll try to avoid them as much as possible):
In the Mistborn series the protagonist is a young woman named Vin, who grew up on the street. Her life was hard and she learned that the only way to survive was to never trust people too much, and to be ruthless. Vin discovers she has supernatural powers that not many have, and she is taught to control them by the group of rebels she joins.
She falls in love with an idealistic young noble named Elend and they begin a relationship together, despite the power struggles they're caught in the middle of. Vin strives to protect him with her powers, but as he sees more of her terrifying and deadly abilities she worries that he's growing to fear her, and because she's not as educated as he is she worries he's becoming bored of her. Then Vin meets another assassin who shares her supernatural abilities. He appeals to her paranoid side by talking about how normal people can't understand their trials, and how nobles only treat their people as convenient tools. A major conflict Vin has is whether she can maintain a relationship with someone so different from her, and whether it would be better for everyone if she instead pursued a relationship with the more exciting assassin.
I thought this was a well written relationship because even though Vin and Elend care for each other, their values and experiences are very different. They need to find an understanding with one another, but Vin is not sure it's even worth it to try. She is also fascinated by this other young man, who she knows very little about but who shares her experiences.
There's also the tv show How I Met Your Mother which is a framed story about a man named Ted who tells his children how he met their mother. Included in his stories are his best friends, the couple Lily and Marshall.
Pretty much everything about that couple is a perfectly written relationship. Lily's desire to pursue her painting creates conflict when Marshall finds it difficult to support her. Marshall realizes his childhood dream career can't provide them with the money they'll need to start a family. And they're obsessed with double-dates! They struggle to find other coupled friends they can invite over for a night of fondue and charades.
The writers do a fantastic job in showing that, even though Marshall and Lily have been together for years, things are still not 100% perfect in their lives.
Anyway, that's it. Marriage isn't the opposite of romance, writers. Not every relationship needs to be self-destructive to be interesting.