(no subject)
The following is a family E-mail update provided by Papa Sharkey....
Hello all. Thought we'd bring you up to date on some developments up here in Pennsylvania.
About 2 years ago, someone decided that our mailbox was in need of some batting practice. The first time, it was a foul tip, and I was able to put it back together again. The next 2 times, obviously with a lot more practice under his belt, they were home runs, requiring full replacements of the mailbox. Not being too dumb - it only took 3 times to figure it out - I decided to invest in one of those "Indestructible" jobs from the Sporty's catalog - and it seemed to do the trick - no incidents for at least 8 months - or maybe there was one that broke the perp's wrist, and he had to go on the DL.
hiiii-YEAH!
In any event, in August of 2004, on the evening of the Eagles' first home preseason game, the "Indestructible" mailbox and the surrounding bushes were set on fire. This was discovered by Jackie and Brian, along with their dates, coming home from the football game around midnight and were greeted by the Newtown Square Fire Department and several police cars, trying to put out the fire - a scene which caused Jackie's date - the current Rob who had never been to the house before - to comment something like "nice neighborhood". In addition to our mailbox, there was a trail of burning gas running across the street to the street sign in our neighbor's yard, ablaze, as were 4 other mailboxes in the neighborhood.
A neighborhood teenager - not a Sharkey - was ultimately arrested and placed in a Jeuvinille Detention Center after the federal offense.
Doin' Time
Fast forward to this morning, Jackie - who leaves for work as a student teacher around 6:30AM, left a rather mean note for Brian - asking him to be more mindful of others when looking thru his car at 2:00 in the morning, in the garage beneath her detached garage apartment. When Brian saw this note, he asked Momma Sharkey "Who, me? I came in at 12:00 and went straight to bed!" So, Brian went out to the garage and discovered that the Ipod and a thumb drive had been stolen from his car. The rest of the cars seemed to be fine, but Jackie and Matt had already left, we couldn't sure about theirs.
Brian and Momma Sharkey called the police, who came by and took a report, and informed them that there were 5 such occurrences in the 'hood last night, but at least now they had a timeframe to work with.
Yeah, what he said!
When Matt got home and heard about the events, he checked out his car, only to find that the digital camera was missing from the trunk.
Then Jackie came home, heard the story and expanded on what happened. Sounds of someone going thru Brian's car had woken her up, and she was thoruoghly pissed, means it was 2 AM; just hours before having to be at school. Trying to fall back asleep the intruder opened the door to her room and started up the stairs. Thinking it was one of her nocturnal siblings, she shouted,
"What do you want?" Hearing no response, she yelled, "who's there?" which was followed by the door slamming. She ran downstairs, looked around the garage, went into the house, dogs barking frantically, she saw nothing there either. Jackie wrote it off as nothing, whichever sibling was the culprit, they were saved for the moment.
When this part of the story was relayed to the police, they upgraded the offense to a felony B&E, and fingerprinted Matt's car.
So, with that lengthy introduction, Momma Sharkey and I have decided that it is no longer safe to live here - and that we're going to move into the city where it's safe and these things don't happen. We've bought a townhouse in Philadelphia - I know it's going to be an adjustment after living in this huge place all these years, but you have to do what's best for your family, you know? The new place is located at 1*** D*&^*&y Street, Philadelphia, PA. If you're familiar with Philadelphia, this is in Rittenhouse Square; if not, it's smack in the middle of downtown (Center City).
Classy.
We've already taken possession of it, and will be selling the blighted Newtown Square home ASAP. The only real problem right now is that Matt is only a junior in high school, and we don't want him to have to change schools, so we'll have to work something out after we sell the place. In the interim, Brian Mac (his work name) has agreed to housesit the new place along with his girlfriend Meg, until Momma Sharkey and I move in. Hopefully, we'll have a chance to have all of you visit us sometime, but, since it's such a small place, it will take some time to get everyone up there - we won't be able to have the big sleepovers anymore.
I guess that pretty much wraps it up - take care everyone - and be sure to lock your doors!
Love to all,
Papa Sharkey
P.S. in the unbelievably unlikely event that something similar were to occur downtown, all of the action will be caught on camera by one of the 16 surveillance cameras which the previous paranoid (connected) owners had installed.
Hello all. Thought we'd bring you up to date on some developments up here in Pennsylvania.
About 2 years ago, someone decided that our mailbox was in need of some batting practice. The first time, it was a foul tip, and I was able to put it back together again. The next 2 times, obviously with a lot more practice under his belt, they were home runs, requiring full replacements of the mailbox. Not being too dumb - it only took 3 times to figure it out - I decided to invest in one of those "Indestructible" jobs from the Sporty's catalog - and it seemed to do the trick - no incidents for at least 8 months - or maybe there was one that broke the perp's wrist, and he had to go on the DL.
hiiii-YEAH!
In any event, in August of 2004, on the evening of the Eagles' first home preseason game, the "Indestructible" mailbox and the surrounding bushes were set on fire. This was discovered by Jackie and Brian, along with their dates, coming home from the football game around midnight and were greeted by the Newtown Square Fire Department and several police cars, trying to put out the fire - a scene which caused Jackie's date - the current Rob who had never been to the house before - to comment something like "nice neighborhood". In addition to our mailbox, there was a trail of burning gas running across the street to the street sign in our neighbor's yard, ablaze, as were 4 other mailboxes in the neighborhood.
A neighborhood teenager - not a Sharkey - was ultimately arrested and placed in a Jeuvinille Detention Center after the federal offense.
Doin' Time
Fast forward to this morning, Jackie - who leaves for work as a student teacher around 6:30AM, left a rather mean note for Brian - asking him to be more mindful of others when looking thru his car at 2:00 in the morning, in the garage beneath her detached garage apartment. When Brian saw this note, he asked Momma Sharkey "Who, me? I came in at 12:00 and went straight to bed!" So, Brian went out to the garage and discovered that the Ipod and a thumb drive had been stolen from his car. The rest of the cars seemed to be fine, but Jackie and Matt had already left, we couldn't sure about theirs.
Brian and Momma Sharkey called the police, who came by and took a report, and informed them that there were 5 such occurrences in the 'hood last night, but at least now they had a timeframe to work with.
Yeah, what he said!
When Matt got home and heard about the events, he checked out his car, only to find that the digital camera was missing from the trunk.
Then Jackie came home, heard the story and expanded on what happened. Sounds of someone going thru Brian's car had woken her up, and she was thoruoghly pissed, means it was 2 AM; just hours before having to be at school. Trying to fall back asleep the intruder opened the door to her room and started up the stairs. Thinking it was one of her nocturnal siblings, she shouted,
"What do you want?" Hearing no response, she yelled, "who's there?" which was followed by the door slamming. She ran downstairs, looked around the garage, went into the house, dogs barking frantically, she saw nothing there either. Jackie wrote it off as nothing, whichever sibling was the culprit, they were saved for the moment.
When this part of the story was relayed to the police, they upgraded the offense to a felony B&E, and fingerprinted Matt's car.
So, with that lengthy introduction, Momma Sharkey and I have decided that it is no longer safe to live here - and that we're going to move into the city where it's safe and these things don't happen. We've bought a townhouse in Philadelphia - I know it's going to be an adjustment after living in this huge place all these years, but you have to do what's best for your family, you know? The new place is located at 1*** D*&^*&y Street, Philadelphia, PA. If you're familiar with Philadelphia, this is in Rittenhouse Square; if not, it's smack in the middle of downtown (Center City).
Classy.
We've already taken possession of it, and will be selling the blighted Newtown Square home ASAP. The only real problem right now is that Matt is only a junior in high school, and we don't want him to have to change schools, so we'll have to work something out after we sell the place. In the interim, Brian Mac (his work name) has agreed to housesit the new place along with his girlfriend Meg, until Momma Sharkey and I move in. Hopefully, we'll have a chance to have all of you visit us sometime, but, since it's such a small place, it will take some time to get everyone up there - we won't be able to have the big sleepovers anymore.
I guess that pretty much wraps it up - take care everyone - and be sure to lock your doors!
Love to all,
Papa Sharkey
P.S. in the unbelievably unlikely event that something similar were to occur downtown, all of the action will be caught on camera by one of the 16 surveillance cameras which the previous paranoid (connected) owners had installed.