News Article
I hate stress. It makes me so emotional....
I read a news article tonight. Well, started last night. I read about how a 4 year old boy was missing and found in a neighbor's clothes dryer. I was sad, but not....helplessly so. My 4 yr old, even as annoying as he has been lately, is the light of my heart (as Andy would say). Kids meet up with stupid accidents and they die sometimes. Fact of life, whether we like it or not.
Then tonight's article caught my eye. The 14 year old neighbor DROWNED the 4 year old after sodomizing him. Oh. My. God. The 14 year old fessed up to it (which is a good thing)....and he said he had lured the little guy into his apartment and molested him in the bathroom. Afterward, the 4 yr old slipped and fell into the side of the bathtub, began to cry and said he would tell his mom. He would tattle on the teenager. The teenager filled the tub deep enough and held the 4 yr old down under the water until he was dead.
Then carried him to the clothes dryer and placed him in there to cover up the murder.
That poor kid. The 4 year old. He had to be in pain and terrified and confused in the last hour of his life. No kid should have to deal with that. Ever! It wasn't a stupid mistake! It wasn't an accident or a trick gone wrong. It wasn't even a dog or an adult!!! Not that a dog or adult is any better, but it is somehow a little easier to put the blame on them than a freaking teenager! It was murder plain and simple!!
This took thought. You don't just freak out and wait for the bathtub to be filled to a few inches without being able to think things through. I know teenagers are stupid, but still.
And the 4 year old's mom - it would be so easy to blame her but I know Ben and Andy have been outside for 5 minutes without my supervision. I send them to get into the car and I grab coats, books, computer, water bottle, whatever in plans to meet them in the car momentarily. Or the phone rings or I have to pee real quick.....kids are alone sometimes for short periods. Every kid is, and you can't deny that. You can't blame the mom of the 4 yr old.
And 14 yr olds are old enough by law to be at home alone. Teenagers have hormones and mood swings and things they can't control.....fact of being a teenager and going through puberty.
And now some poor mother is mourning the loss of her boy - her precious 4 year old angel - and there is no rhyme or reason to it!!! I am torn up inside over this story. Not sure if it is the stress I have been feeling or maybe it is my time of the month or something.....but I can't stop crying about this. That poor boy in california - his poor mother.....the sequence of events leading up to this will never be analyzed enough.
It's like I am trying to feel what the 4 yr old's mom is feeling....maybe to take away some of her pain. But it hurts so bad. My heart feels like it is being squeezed dry. My brin can't make sense of this crime. Maybe writing my feelings down will help. I just feel so damn helpless...what if it were my son? what if my son was the teenager? how would I move past it?
I am hopeless. :( And exhausted. I bet I dream about something like this tonight and get no sleep. I just can't stop crying....
I read a news article tonight. Well, started last night. I read about how a 4 year old boy was missing and found in a neighbor's clothes dryer. I was sad, but not....helplessly so. My 4 yr old, even as annoying as he has been lately, is the light of my heart (as Andy would say). Kids meet up with stupid accidents and they die sometimes. Fact of life, whether we like it or not.
Then tonight's article caught my eye. The 14 year old neighbor DROWNED the 4 year old after sodomizing him. Oh. My. God. The 14 year old fessed up to it (which is a good thing)....and he said he had lured the little guy into his apartment and molested him in the bathroom. Afterward, the 4 yr old slipped and fell into the side of the bathtub, began to cry and said he would tell his mom. He would tattle on the teenager. The teenager filled the tub deep enough and held the 4 yr old down under the water until he was dead.
Then carried him to the clothes dryer and placed him in there to cover up the murder.
That poor kid. The 4 year old. He had to be in pain and terrified and confused in the last hour of his life. No kid should have to deal with that. Ever! It wasn't a stupid mistake! It wasn't an accident or a trick gone wrong. It wasn't even a dog or an adult!!! Not that a dog or adult is any better, but it is somehow a little easier to put the blame on them than a freaking teenager! It was murder plain and simple!!
This took thought. You don't just freak out and wait for the bathtub to be filled to a few inches without being able to think things through. I know teenagers are stupid, but still.
And the 4 year old's mom - it would be so easy to blame her but I know Ben and Andy have been outside for 5 minutes without my supervision. I send them to get into the car and I grab coats, books, computer, water bottle, whatever in plans to meet them in the car momentarily. Or the phone rings or I have to pee real quick.....kids are alone sometimes for short periods. Every kid is, and you can't deny that. You can't blame the mom of the 4 yr old.
And 14 yr olds are old enough by law to be at home alone. Teenagers have hormones and mood swings and things they can't control.....fact of being a teenager and going through puberty.
And now some poor mother is mourning the loss of her boy - her precious 4 year old angel - and there is no rhyme or reason to it!!! I am torn up inside over this story. Not sure if it is the stress I have been feeling or maybe it is my time of the month or something.....but I can't stop crying about this. That poor boy in california - his poor mother.....the sequence of events leading up to this will never be analyzed enough.
It's like I am trying to feel what the 4 yr old's mom is feeling....maybe to take away some of her pain. But it hurts so bad. My heart feels like it is being squeezed dry. My brin can't make sense of this crime. Maybe writing my feelings down will help. I just feel so damn helpless...what if it were my son? what if my son was the teenager? how would I move past it?
I am hopeless. :( And exhausted. I bet I dream about something like this tonight and get no sleep. I just can't stop crying....