(no subject)
Oh livejournal, how I seriously have missed my rantings on this site
Im in a very bad mood and I want is for someone to slit my throat cause I dont have the balls to do it myself. I am just pissed off and I havent been like this in fucking forever I would give anything to fight or just get in a really bad argument with ANYONE at this point. I am sick, I cant leave my house because i can barely fucking breather and Im being replaces by fat sluts everywhere I turn. Jrs new little girlfriend is a drug addict fat bitch and so it Katie the chick I work with... they both need to just choke on their own herpes and die. Fuck nice. I dont do nice. I do, shut the fuck up. I hate being replaced by stupid people. I know I am a better person. But when I get looked over and replaced for something else that I see as being much much worse. I realize maybe Im not good enough, How dare someone make me feel like im not good enough and I dont like the fact that someone can do this to me. I am not completely in control of how I feel. I dislike people at the moment and if I thought crying would help I would cry a mother fucking river. But nothing helps you just have to wait
I hate waiting
I dont want to wait to see what will happen I want to stop feeling pissed and I want to make you understand how fucked up I really am cause I am sick of faking fucking happy
then I just have these weird mental break downs where nothing gets me back up and I dont fucking want this shit
I want to be normal
but I dont want to conform to this fucked up world and its fucked up standards and morals and values
fuck all that
I dont want it
but at the same time it makes it so much easier
its easier to be happy all the time and joke around and not have anything to worry about
but its fake and i dont like being fake cause generally I am NOT i repeat NOT a fake person, usually if I dont like somethin you will know it but these people, all of these people make you conform to their bullshit standards and I just say fuck you
fuck all of them
and that makes me feel better
for that time
until i have my mother fucking mental breakdown with the crying and the breaking things and whats it all for?
attention
I will blatenly say it
I need someone to care
I really really do
I need someone who is there everyday in my life to say they need it
they need me
and its never goingt to fucking happen
so fuck all of it
Im in a very bad mood and I want is for someone to slit my throat cause I dont have the balls to do it myself. I am just pissed off and I havent been like this in fucking forever I would give anything to fight or just get in a really bad argument with ANYONE at this point. I am sick, I cant leave my house because i can barely fucking breather and Im being replaces by fat sluts everywhere I turn. Jrs new little girlfriend is a drug addict fat bitch and so it Katie the chick I work with... they both need to just choke on their own herpes and die. Fuck nice. I dont do nice. I do, shut the fuck up. I hate being replaced by stupid people. I know I am a better person. But when I get looked over and replaced for something else that I see as being much much worse. I realize maybe Im not good enough, How dare someone make me feel like im not good enough and I dont like the fact that someone can do this to me. I am not completely in control of how I feel. I dislike people at the moment and if I thought crying would help I would cry a mother fucking river. But nothing helps you just have to wait
I hate waiting
I dont want to wait to see what will happen I want to stop feeling pissed and I want to make you understand how fucked up I really am cause I am sick of faking fucking happy
then I just have these weird mental break downs where nothing gets me back up and I dont fucking want this shit
I want to be normal
but I dont want to conform to this fucked up world and its fucked up standards and morals and values
fuck all that
I dont want it
but at the same time it makes it so much easier
its easier to be happy all the time and joke around and not have anything to worry about
but its fake and i dont like being fake cause generally I am NOT i repeat NOT a fake person, usually if I dont like somethin you will know it but these people, all of these people make you conform to their bullshit standards and I just say fuck you
fuck all of them
and that makes me feel better
for that time
until i have my mother fucking mental breakdown with the crying and the breaking things and whats it all for?
attention
I will blatenly say it
I need someone to care
I really really do
I need someone who is there everyday in my life to say they need it
they need me
and its never goingt to fucking happen
so fuck all of it