If only i could miss the day that i didnt post.
Well the last couple of days have been utterly emotional. with in hours you can turn what your whole body and soul has told you is love in to well what some people say is hate. that is a word i dont thow around lightly. weather its in anger or depression i dont take take those words lighly. Maybe when i was 17 saying to my mom but never to the one i married. but i guess the feelin is not mutual any more. i can cry and bitch and complain about him. but never have i used the word hate. well as far as that goes i really need to take a step back i mean after all i am still laura weather there is a david there or not right. but reaching a ending point alone let alone with a innocent 3 year old is not easy! the thought of being alone frankly freaks me out. but to be a divorcee and a over weight mother makes me feel like there in nothing elese for me and that being aone for the rest of my life could be a reality. but i ask myself when did i get beat down so hard where i have those thought in my head. then i look back and say well i have i guess never been with some one who has ever put me on a pedastill. so i go threw this vicious cycle over and over agian! but what hurts the most is he is a good person and a good dad but right now he is just a sloppy unemployed person so depressed he feels he needs to take it out on me! well he need to get over it. my patients and my heart and soul are runninr very thin and its only a matter of time that i snap and my give a damn will be busted.