i figured out what el jay is for
it is to help in the sometimes project of making me feel like i am in a movie.
the other thing that does that is my new job, where i wear a white dress and sit (up staight) at a desk and read books for college. people come in and i smile at them and then watch to see how they look at the art. sometimes i give them a little coin to put thier backpacks away with. there is a walkie talkie that i never have to use. or i read the catalogue, which tells me things that are already written in my head and make me want to yell at someone to explain liberalism, radicalism, social change and post[post-post]modernism more clearly. i get bored and take pictures of the door with my phone. and then i walk on the sidewalk and go home and eat a sandwich on my front step.
THAT IS NOT ALL I DO. that is the movie, but.
devendra banhardt and miranda july both have art in the art show at ccs. errrr. aaaaah. i kind of like her though, because she is like a girl in a movie but not quite really.
the other (connected?) project, which i am more enthused about, is making peace with the incoherence between the feeling that i would rather stay in the arena of everyday awe, where the way people do thier little things matter more than judith butler, and that of wanting to succeed in some fashion at thinking something about something enough to write it down. when i was a kid i would have these sudden sensations of being totally aware of how bizarre it is to be doing what we are doing all the time and to be alive in general, like when you look at your hand and wiggle your fingers and almost can't believe it. vividness. and now that still happens and it is combined with the grocery store to make me beleive that it is all too much for anything to matter enough at all, even in the smart and not way. but that is just the silly romance of the costant apocalypse thing to some extent, so as usual the answer is neither/nor and both.
can we start picking teams soon, for after college? i lost my umbrella.
the other thing that does that is my new job, where i wear a white dress and sit (up staight) at a desk and read books for college. people come in and i smile at them and then watch to see how they look at the art. sometimes i give them a little coin to put thier backpacks away with. there is a walkie talkie that i never have to use. or i read the catalogue, which tells me things that are already written in my head and make me want to yell at someone to explain liberalism, radicalism, social change and post[post-post]modernism more clearly. i get bored and take pictures of the door with my phone. and then i walk on the sidewalk and go home and eat a sandwich on my front step.
THAT IS NOT ALL I DO. that is the movie, but.
devendra banhardt and miranda july both have art in the art show at ccs. errrr. aaaaah. i kind of like her though, because she is like a girl in a movie but not quite really.
the other (connected?) project, which i am more enthused about, is making peace with the incoherence between the feeling that i would rather stay in the arena of everyday awe, where the way people do thier little things matter more than judith butler, and that of wanting to succeed in some fashion at thinking something about something enough to write it down. when i was a kid i would have these sudden sensations of being totally aware of how bizarre it is to be doing what we are doing all the time and to be alive in general, like when you look at your hand and wiggle your fingers and almost can't believe it. vividness. and now that still happens and it is combined with the grocery store to make me beleive that it is all too much for anything to matter enough at all, even in the smart and not way. but that is just the silly romance of the costant apocalypse thing to some extent, so as usual the answer is neither/nor and both.
can we start picking teams soon, for after college? i lost my umbrella.