I'm homeless. I'm an alcoholic. I'm transgender!
Sooooooo...Hi! Nobody will read this and LiveJournal is dead...but I need to do this after reading through my own journal recently. The journal iitself needs to know WE DID IT! We got somewhere. I am happier than ever! I'm finally doing what I should be doing with my life.
I will address the subject line sentence my sentence:
I'm homeless. Yes, but I call it HOUSELESS. I live in an RV, a truck camper to be specific. It's everything I dreamed it would be. Hasn't been without it's related stress and issues though, as to be expected. I love it, I would never ever go back to living in an apartment or house though. Ever! I work as much as I can, so I'm usually there, but finding a spot to sleep at night can be tougher than I thought in the city. Plan is to travel with no destination in mind, but at 5mpg...gets expensive and unrealistic unless financially steady. The third sentence of my subject line has priority over finance, so moving on..
Second, I am an alcoholic. I'm not proud of this, but this is my reality and I make the best of it. At this point, the real negatives are three fold: The calories, the cost, and my liver. I've worked hard to lose weight (42 lbs so far). At 95-130 cals per beer, it is not helping. On days off, I will drink 9-12 beers, on nights after work, usually 6-9. That obviously adds up in cost. As long as I can though, I will. The only reason I'm worried about my liver is the third sentence of my subject line...
Most importantly, I'm trans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I take testosterone-blockers and estrogen. Have been for 11 months now. NEVER BEEN HAPPIER! Oh my fucking god, why have I wasted so much of my life trying to conform and fit in?!?!?!?! I'm old (36 when I started) and an alchy (I take pill form; processed through my liver), so results are only a fraction of what they should/could be, but FUCK IT, I'll take whatever I can get! I've come a long way, but the end will never be near. The beginning WAS rough. I've never been closer to literally pulling the trigger to kill myself. But now that I present as female full-time, so worth the struggles. I read back in my journal in 2006-2008ish and I was struggling with gender and sexuality. I'm so proud to be where I'm at now after reading those entries!
Pictures!
Our home:
Me...from this:
...To this:
(filthy mirror ^^^)
My Baby:
^^^ What I look forward to coming home to most is my baby-gurl Pan! Panni and I have been together my entire adult life. 18 years!!!! I never take this little lady for granted! We've been through so much together, I cry everytime I think about it!
Other news...My dad died June of 2016 - three years after my mom :*( ...sold the Hondas completey, that was hard...Went down on my motorcycle last September. The bike was PERFECT and since I've ruined it, I've had a hard time fixing it (will be easy)...My sister is still a selfish cunt - keep on paying for and believing in that Afterlife Insurance Plan sis, hope it works out for you...Lost the few friends I had since transitioining but fuck them...aaaand I'm about to run out of data so this will have to do for now. I may edit it later...but yeah! Hormones FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!