Perhaps it is time for a post
Well ladies and gentlemen, it's been too long since my last post. There really is no excuse for this. I should be able to fire off a post each day. . but realistically, my life isn't fun and exciting as others may believe (i live a very boring life). . I've noticed that school now is less class work and a whole shit load of outside of class work. . I read research papers as fast as a fat kid eats his smarties. I can sit in a chair so so long that it now has a permanent indentation. I've stayed on campus for over 20 hrs before. . in which in that time frame, wrote 2 exams, studied forthem both, studied for my last exam, ordered a pizza at 2am and had it delivered to my school, argued with the lizza guy since the it was late, couldn't care anymore so i just paid the person, studied more and then came home to "home" which i think has been reduced to a place where i can sleep without getting bothered. I mean don't get me wrong, my apartment is pretty cool but lately i just don't see it that much, it's just a place i can sleep.
As a break i like to wash the dishes that tend to pile up seeing how my room mate isn't that fond of washing dishes or in that fact, making dinner. But i'm not complaining. . it's not that i just find it odd. . the roomie and i get along ok i guess. . we really don't talk all that much. .we're both pretty busy, we'll say a few words here and there but that's about it. In the realm of room mates, i'd say this is top 3. . then again i've only had 2 room mates, go figure that one out. SO what's happened over the course of whatever time frame i've last checked into LJ. . well Bush is once again president. . i feel that the US will be in for another 4 yrs of stupidity. There are actually americans who want to become canadians which i still find somewhat ironic, cuz there are som many canadians that are being drawn to the US for jobs. In a way i dont' blame them (mainly i speak from a healthcare/doctor perspective). .
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The canadian government acknowledges the fact we have a shortage of doctors but they won't do anythign about it and to get into med school is still nearly impossible. . i mean i wrote the MCATS i scored pretty decently on it. . but u know what my chances of getting into meds is still slim. i dunno maybe i didn't work work enough, perhaps i didn't want it bad enough i don't know. I guess only a few ppl would understand where i'm coming from. . i eman u work all these yrs to obtain a goal and when u can't reach it, u can't help but feel slightly disappointed. I mean come march when those rejection letters start rolling in, i can't help but feel like i let myself and those who beleived in me down. But in the grand scheme of things, maybe that's what i need is a rejection letter to put things into perspective. I'm worrying about getting in med school but there are ppl out therein the world who are wondering where their next meal is coming from. PPl are starving, getting killed, raped, there are so many horrible things in the world that is happen but we just don't choose to really bother with it. I mean i've seen ppl here at school judge other ppl by what they wear or i hear about kids who want the latest designer clothes or even those kids who are only in school cuz they're parents are paying them to go there. . i can't help but look at these kids and wanting to reach out and smack them. Then again i can't be all high and mighty about this seeing how i'm not much different than these kids when i really look at it.
A friend of mine went to a 3rd world country for 6 months, he defered his 4th yr of school so he could go there and help those who need it the most. There is no running water so he has to go and fetch water for shower. He keeps me posted with emails of his journies in life. He tells me that these kids live in the poorest parts of the neighbouthood and that just having a "outsider" come there to help out is out of their mind. . The ppl here just can't comprehend why someone like my friend who travel there to help them..They're totally grateful for hs help and the treat him like royalty there. The kids are fascinated by what my friends can teach them of the western world. I mean these are things i start question my life as it is. Have i made a difference in the world . what separates me from all the other thousands of kids that are here at school? Perhaps i ask these things of myself only cuz the medical applications asks me this. I mean such questions of "why do u want to be a doctor" i mean this question has haunted me for many months. . who can u give an answer that hasn't been given. .at what stage in my life did i want to become a doctor. . I think back and the best answer is i've always somehow wanted to be one (Cahyee what'd u say). .Answers of "i want to help ppl" are so plain. . i mean in the end that's what i succombed to but realistically if i was the exam board and i saw this answer i'd be like "woop de doo. . next" Since when did getting into med school become such a prestigious thing. . 25 yrs ago. . med school recruited kids to go there. Then again 25 yrs ago was a totally different world then. . i dont' know if i'd be able to live in that time.
We go thru life not really knowing what is to become of us, we makes choices along the ways, whos to say which ones are right and wrong. . Sometimes we don't say what we want to say because we're afraid of the consequences. I mean there are times were i haven;t said wat i really wanted to say all because i was afraid.. life is filled with fear and uncertainities, that we can't run away from but what makes it bearable is the support system one has. . your family and friends. I look back and i can honestly say i have some of the greatest friends a person can ask for. They've always been there for me if i ever needed them, and even though we haven't spent as much time as i want to with them, when i see them it's like we start where we left off. And so i want to say Thanks to all my friends, u know who u are. And to the ppl i've met along the way. . friends of friends or just aquaintances. .It's funny, i mean i'm closer with ppl i've met just last yr than to my room mate of 3 yrs. . this is the guys i've lived with for 3 yrs. . but yeah perhaps our personalities didnt' mesh. I've met some amazing ppl over the last yr in my program. . we've all become close and it's nice to have the feeling knowing that if u ever need a hand in school or just someone to be silly/crazy with u just could. The conversations i've had with these select few ppl in my program would have u raise your eyebrows at me but that'd be fine. Life is funny that way.
I doubt anyone would even read this far down into my post, but pretty much i'm just writing whatever is comign to my mind. I have 3 midterms this week and i've studied all that i can, but sometimes the exam just wins and sometimes u do. . For instance i studied extrememly hard for my patholgy exam and i did amazing on it (MC questions i like). . then on the other hand, i studied like a madman again for my gastrointestinal exam and well lets just say i don't know how the exam went. . can go eother way. . But there were ppl crying after writing this exam. . in my 4 yrs of school i've only seen 2 ppl cry after an exam.. What good does tears do after an exam, i mean yeah so u didn't do well o the exam, but suck it up that's life, the prof isn't see sympathy in this outburst of emotions. Maybe they will i don't know. . but somehow i feel like it's a cop out in a way. . If u've got a legitimate reason that the exam didn't go well thats' fine. . i have nothing against that. . But to use tears as a weapon that's just low.
The world is a scary place, and sometimes i dont' know if i'm ready for the "real world" i feel safe in school. . that's all i have to worry about. . i mean granted school costs money but hey, i'm having a great time doing this. Some of us carry a part time job or two to help pay for school. . i've been working in a library for 6 yrs now. . 6 freaking years in a library. . and the fact that the library here feel more like a dungeon than anything.. I feel so emotionally/physically drained after working there but i work cuz i get paid. . I mean if we can all find a job that we like and we're getting paid, that'd be great. Most ppl fall into 2 categories. . they're in a dead end job that they hate or they're in a job that they love and they're getting paid crap. Not many ppl can say they're in a job that they love and are getting paid nicely on the flip side, money isn't everything. . i feel that if one is happy with themselves, their lives tend to be better. Are we genuinely happy as a society. . i don't know. . it's human nature to always want more. . more vacation time, more pay. . i don't know are we somehow programmed to always want more. . not many ppl would say "yeah i'm happy being a mcdonalds server." or whatever medial job they're stuck in.
i dunno what purpose if any this post serves. . maybe u'll see the length of it and be scared to read it??. . i dunno. . but i think i've gained some perspective in this so called "life". . . i don't think i'll ever fully understand the purpose of life, i mean the greatest rewards come to those who have the most to risk. . problem is when u risk it all, it's all out there there's no turning back. I feel that ppl go thru life witha lot of "what if" questions. . what if i did this. . or that. . i admit i was like that, but what can u do??. . so everytime i find myself asking a what if question in resonse to a problem i'm faced with. . i tend to just go for it. . what's the worst that can happen. Life is filled with uncertainties so i try to eliminate as many as i can.. there are some thing we can control and other s we can't. . so why dont' u try and control as much as u can and leave the rest up to chance/fate/whatever u beleive in. Well boys and girls this is the end of my post. . we'll see how long it'll be before my next post. but good luck with everything in life. . and don't forget to laugh once in awhile.
As a break i like to wash the dishes that tend to pile up seeing how my room mate isn't that fond of washing dishes or in that fact, making dinner. But i'm not complaining. . it's not that i just find it odd. . the roomie and i get along ok i guess. . we really don't talk all that much. .we're both pretty busy, we'll say a few words here and there but that's about it. In the realm of room mates, i'd say this is top 3. . then again i've only had 2 room mates, go figure that one out. SO what's happened over the course of whatever time frame i've last checked into LJ. . well Bush is once again president. . i feel that the US will be in for another 4 yrs of stupidity. There are actually americans who want to become canadians which i still find somewhat ironic, cuz there are som many canadians that are being drawn to the US for jobs. In a way i dont' blame them (mainly i speak from a healthcare/doctor perspective). .
<
The canadian government acknowledges the fact we have a shortage of doctors but they won't do anythign about it and to get into med school is still nearly impossible. . i mean i wrote the MCATS i scored pretty decently on it. . but u know what my chances of getting into meds is still slim. i dunno maybe i didn't work work enough, perhaps i didn't want it bad enough i don't know. I guess only a few ppl would understand where i'm coming from. . i eman u work all these yrs to obtain a goal and when u can't reach it, u can't help but feel slightly disappointed. I mean come march when those rejection letters start rolling in, i can't help but feel like i let myself and those who beleived in me down. But in the grand scheme of things, maybe that's what i need is a rejection letter to put things into perspective. I'm worrying about getting in med school but there are ppl out therein the world who are wondering where their next meal is coming from. PPl are starving, getting killed, raped, there are so many horrible things in the world that is happen but we just don't choose to really bother with it. I mean i've seen ppl here at school judge other ppl by what they wear or i hear about kids who want the latest designer clothes or even those kids who are only in school cuz they're parents are paying them to go there. . i can't help but look at these kids and wanting to reach out and smack them. Then again i can't be all high and mighty about this seeing how i'm not much different than these kids when i really look at it.
A friend of mine went to a 3rd world country for 6 months, he defered his 4th yr of school so he could go there and help those who need it the most. There is no running water so he has to go and fetch water for shower. He keeps me posted with emails of his journies in life. He tells me that these kids live in the poorest parts of the neighbouthood and that just having a "outsider" come there to help out is out of their mind. . The ppl here just can't comprehend why someone like my friend who travel there to help them..They're totally grateful for hs help and the treat him like royalty there. The kids are fascinated by what my friends can teach them of the western world. I mean these are things i start question my life as it is. Have i made a difference in the world . what separates me from all the other thousands of kids that are here at school? Perhaps i ask these things of myself only cuz the medical applications asks me this. I mean such questions of "why do u want to be a doctor" i mean this question has haunted me for many months. . who can u give an answer that hasn't been given. .at what stage in my life did i want to become a doctor. . I think back and the best answer is i've always somehow wanted to be one (Cahyee what'd u say). .Answers of "i want to help ppl" are so plain. . i mean in the end that's what i succombed to but realistically if i was the exam board and i saw this answer i'd be like "woop de doo. . next" Since when did getting into med school become such a prestigious thing. . 25 yrs ago. . med school recruited kids to go there. Then again 25 yrs ago was a totally different world then. . i dont' know if i'd be able to live in that time.
We go thru life not really knowing what is to become of us, we makes choices along the ways, whos to say which ones are right and wrong. . Sometimes we don't say what we want to say because we're afraid of the consequences. I mean there are times were i haven;t said wat i really wanted to say all because i was afraid.. life is filled with fear and uncertainities, that we can't run away from but what makes it bearable is the support system one has. . your family and friends. I look back and i can honestly say i have some of the greatest friends a person can ask for. They've always been there for me if i ever needed them, and even though we haven't spent as much time as i want to with them, when i see them it's like we start where we left off. And so i want to say Thanks to all my friends, u know who u are. And to the ppl i've met along the way. . friends of friends or just aquaintances. .It's funny, i mean i'm closer with ppl i've met just last yr than to my room mate of 3 yrs. . this is the guys i've lived with for 3 yrs. . but yeah perhaps our personalities didnt' mesh. I've met some amazing ppl over the last yr in my program. . we've all become close and it's nice to have the feeling knowing that if u ever need a hand in school or just someone to be silly/crazy with u just could. The conversations i've had with these select few ppl in my program would have u raise your eyebrows at me but that'd be fine. Life is funny that way.
I doubt anyone would even read this far down into my post, but pretty much i'm just writing whatever is comign to my mind. I have 3 midterms this week and i've studied all that i can, but sometimes the exam just wins and sometimes u do. . For instance i studied extrememly hard for my patholgy exam and i did amazing on it (MC questions i like). . then on the other hand, i studied like a madman again for my gastrointestinal exam and well lets just say i don't know how the exam went. . can go eother way. . But there were ppl crying after writing this exam. . in my 4 yrs of school i've only seen 2 ppl cry after an exam.. What good does tears do after an exam, i mean yeah so u didn't do well o the exam, but suck it up that's life, the prof isn't see sympathy in this outburst of emotions. Maybe they will i don't know. . but somehow i feel like it's a cop out in a way. . If u've got a legitimate reason that the exam didn't go well thats' fine. . i have nothing against that. . But to use tears as a weapon that's just low.
The world is a scary place, and sometimes i dont' know if i'm ready for the "real world" i feel safe in school. . that's all i have to worry about. . i mean granted school costs money but hey, i'm having a great time doing this. Some of us carry a part time job or two to help pay for school. . i've been working in a library for 6 yrs now. . 6 freaking years in a library. . and the fact that the library here feel more like a dungeon than anything.. I feel so emotionally/physically drained after working there but i work cuz i get paid. . I mean if we can all find a job that we like and we're getting paid, that'd be great. Most ppl fall into 2 categories. . they're in a dead end job that they hate or they're in a job that they love and they're getting paid crap. Not many ppl can say they're in a job that they love and are getting paid nicely on the flip side, money isn't everything. . i feel that if one is happy with themselves, their lives tend to be better. Are we genuinely happy as a society. . i don't know. . it's human nature to always want more. . more vacation time, more pay. . i don't know are we somehow programmed to always want more. . not many ppl would say "yeah i'm happy being a mcdonalds server." or whatever medial job they're stuck in.
i dunno what purpose if any this post serves. . maybe u'll see the length of it and be scared to read it??. . i dunno. . but i think i've gained some perspective in this so called "life". . . i don't think i'll ever fully understand the purpose of life, i mean the greatest rewards come to those who have the most to risk. . problem is when u risk it all, it's all out there there's no turning back. I feel that ppl go thru life witha lot of "what if" questions. . what if i did this. . or that. . i admit i was like that, but what can u do??. . so everytime i find myself asking a what if question in resonse to a problem i'm faced with. . i tend to just go for it. . what's the worst that can happen. Life is filled with uncertainties so i try to eliminate as many as i can.. there are some thing we can control and other s we can't. . so why dont' u try and control as much as u can and leave the rest up to chance/fate/whatever u beleive in. Well boys and girls this is the end of my post. . we'll see how long it'll be before my next post. but good luck with everything in life. . and don't forget to laugh once in awhile.