rain brings life
im still waiting for it to pour on me.
right now im in a hurricane but no rain. its lame.
im ready to start all over. im ready. im ready. im ready.
but yet still working on it.
seeing this person i talk to has really been helping, its just taking sometime. i have really supressed things.
im freaking out about tomm. jenny and rick are coming with me to the session so we can set bounderies and find out finaly what my role it. pray for me. this could and will probably change everything...
other things have been going on in my life. which i honestly dont feel its even worth speaking about because these two people are not even worth talking to, or about. they are disrespecdtful and assholes, and liers. and i dont have those people in my life ever. so i hope that they are sure about their decsion because they will NEVER be in my life again. ever, i mended with them once, but shame on me. there will not be a second time. so many hurtful things have been said and done in front of me that i just cant go back to the way it was ever. oncec my trust is broken its extremely hard to regain if you can...i just cant. ive been lied to by both parties. a huge lie. i forgive but i do not forget. there is so much more i want to say, but im sure this person will at least read this little bit and its more than she needs to know about any part of my life. so i am done.
one of the emt's said the nicest thing to me the other day when i was miserable. he said. amy you are of of the happiest people i know, and right now i am seeing the saddest person i have ever seen. if you want to talk i am here for you. i was appreciative of that. i guess you could tell i had been crying. it was nice to know he doesnt even really knwo me but cares. :) it felt nice.
i had a great time last night with my friends :) sorry scott m and i got into the hateraide.. for the first time in a minute i smiled. then i took my friends to dennys and paid. i love them. good times. i will always have 56688983945 friends. there is something to learn from everyone. what a boring life to have no one to talk to. i do have several out of those million that i am close with and i appriciate those relatonships. hard times i have been through with some of you. most of you all know my heart, i wear it ont he outside of my body. i love you all. i am soo lucky to have all the people i have in my life fromt eh ones who read this, to the ones i see everyday, to the one i see a few times a week, to the one i can only speak with on the phone. you all mean something to me.. thank you.
so the lady i talk to caught me saying "hope" in a sentence the other day. i cried. i said "hope" and i never really thought of it as a feeling until the other day. it is a feeling. thjat feeling you get before christmas when you are a kid HOPING you will get the one thing you wanted but knowing it was so expensive probably not, but you still HOPE. and if you did get it, omg you can feel that hope always. i felt hope. something i havent felt in a long long time. it was scarey. i do hope to do things, i just dont know if it will be a reality. but i have never said that i HOPE to do these things in a sentence, so that is progress. its taking me awhile to feel that. and then have that taken away from you for so long. wow. god is moving in my life. :)
scott w shared a verse i shared with him a few weeks ago...it gave me much strength :)
"for i know the plans i have for you,plans to prosper and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." jeremiah 29:11
i want to have a festivus party :) we'll see. i have 800000000 evites in my inbox and i cant go to any of them i have to work. oh well.
i have not been to one uofl game all season!!!! wtf is wrong with me. this has not happened in 6 years. WOAH! i have been busy. lol
all of the crap that is going on has made me feel a few strong things...i will write more later. time to hang out with katie and michelle at the mall. :) yessssssssssssssssssssss
a movie later. its gonna be a gloomy FABULOUS day. :) xo
right now im in a hurricane but no rain. its lame.
im ready to start all over. im ready. im ready. im ready.
but yet still working on it.
seeing this person i talk to has really been helping, its just taking sometime. i have really supressed things.
im freaking out about tomm. jenny and rick are coming with me to the session so we can set bounderies and find out finaly what my role it. pray for me. this could and will probably change everything...
other things have been going on in my life. which i honestly dont feel its even worth speaking about because these two people are not even worth talking to, or about. they are disrespecdtful and assholes, and liers. and i dont have those people in my life ever. so i hope that they are sure about their decsion because they will NEVER be in my life again. ever, i mended with them once, but shame on me. there will not be a second time. so many hurtful things have been said and done in front of me that i just cant go back to the way it was ever. oncec my trust is broken its extremely hard to regain if you can...i just cant. ive been lied to by both parties. a huge lie. i forgive but i do not forget. there is so much more i want to say, but im sure this person will at least read this little bit and its more than she needs to know about any part of my life. so i am done.
one of the emt's said the nicest thing to me the other day when i was miserable. he said. amy you are of of the happiest people i know, and right now i am seeing the saddest person i have ever seen. if you want to talk i am here for you. i was appreciative of that. i guess you could tell i had been crying. it was nice to know he doesnt even really knwo me but cares. :) it felt nice.
i had a great time last night with my friends :) sorry scott m and i got into the hateraide.. for the first time in a minute i smiled. then i took my friends to dennys and paid. i love them. good times. i will always have 56688983945 friends. there is something to learn from everyone. what a boring life to have no one to talk to. i do have several out of those million that i am close with and i appriciate those relatonships. hard times i have been through with some of you. most of you all know my heart, i wear it ont he outside of my body. i love you all. i am soo lucky to have all the people i have in my life fromt eh ones who read this, to the ones i see everyday, to the one i see a few times a week, to the one i can only speak with on the phone. you all mean something to me.. thank you.
so the lady i talk to caught me saying "hope" in a sentence the other day. i cried. i said "hope" and i never really thought of it as a feeling until the other day. it is a feeling. thjat feeling you get before christmas when you are a kid HOPING you will get the one thing you wanted but knowing it was so expensive probably not, but you still HOPE. and if you did get it, omg you can feel that hope always. i felt hope. something i havent felt in a long long time. it was scarey. i do hope to do things, i just dont know if it will be a reality. but i have never said that i HOPE to do these things in a sentence, so that is progress. its taking me awhile to feel that. and then have that taken away from you for so long. wow. god is moving in my life. :)
scott w shared a verse i shared with him a few weeks ago...it gave me much strength :)
"for i know the plans i have for you,plans to prosper and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." jeremiah 29:11
i want to have a festivus party :) we'll see. i have 800000000 evites in my inbox and i cant go to any of them i have to work. oh well.
i have not been to one uofl game all season!!!! wtf is wrong with me. this has not happened in 6 years. WOAH! i have been busy. lol
all of the crap that is going on has made me feel a few strong things...i will write more later. time to hang out with katie and michelle at the mall. :) yessssssssssssssssssssss
a movie later. its gonna be a gloomy FABULOUS day. :) xo