Old news
To: info.australia@pfizer.com
Dearest Pfizer representative,
I've been concerned with the recent batch of bad publicity Pfizer have received. This publicity has instilled within me an image of Pfizer as evil corporate types who, alarmingly, monopolize a large proportion of medications and health care services available all around the world. Now, I have been taught to be unbiased and rational during the formation of an opinion, so I perused your lovely website for more information about your activities, and came across wondrous stories of philanthropy. Your accounts of local and global health care involvement warmed the very cockles of my proverbial heart. But then they got my thinking. With so much stake in the health of the world, what would happen if the world suddenly became...healthy?
What would happen if AIDS was eradicated throughout the world? Likewise, if obesity and depression stabilised within the Western world, with happy skinny types living disease-free? The world would soon forget corporations like you, who provide us with much needed pharmaceuticals. It would be such a loss, because you've done such a great service to communities the world over...
...like building a monopoly around HIV/AIDS treatment. After all, Diflucan deserves to be the only such medicine available to the third world. How dare they request inferior generic brands of fluconazole! Those cheap bastards. Luckily, you haven't let that happen in other third world countries. Say, have you seen Ricky Gervais' new DVD 'Politics'? He makes a funny comment about investing in Oxfam: because you'll always have famine! Ha! Lol! But seriously, you should look into that. Monsanto are making a killing!
Hey, do I detect your detection of sarcasm? How dare I criticise such a benign corporation :( After all, you received such a glowing report from the Human Rights Campaign. And gays usually represent the intellectual community, anyway. Now, why would those pesky Canadians go and make a mockery of your well-rounded employees by making them look like unintelligent white collared clowns in 'The Corporation'? They were just trying to demonize large corporations. Such a predictable lefty thing to do. And you know that film-makers like that only do it to appear worldly and 'PC'. Whatever that is. Ugh, I think I'll leave it to Public Relations officers!
Love, A.
"Pfizer collects personally identifiable information, such as names, addresses, E-mail addresses and the like, only when voluntarily provided by a website visitor. We will notify you as to the uses we intend to make of that information." (Privacy statement about personally identifiable information.)
http://www.pfizer.com/pfizer/mn_privacy.jsp
"Never in history has scientific research provided as much hope for curing some of the most complex medical problems. Yet, some 40,000 die each day of preventable diseases that go untreated because of the lack of affordable drugs and strong healthcare delivery systems. Of the 15,000 people each day diagnosed with HIV/AIDS, some 95% live in developing countries, where the cost of medicines is beyond the reach of patients and public health budgets."
(Oxfam International Report: http://www.oxfamamerica.org/newsandpublications/press_releases/archive2001/art655.html)
Dearest Pfizer representative,
I've been concerned with the recent batch of bad publicity Pfizer have received. This publicity has instilled within me an image of Pfizer as evil corporate types who, alarmingly, monopolize a large proportion of medications and health care services available all around the world. Now, I have been taught to be unbiased and rational during the formation of an opinion, so I perused your lovely website for more information about your activities, and came across wondrous stories of philanthropy. Your accounts of local and global health care involvement warmed the very cockles of my proverbial heart. But then they got my thinking. With so much stake in the health of the world, what would happen if the world suddenly became...healthy?
What would happen if AIDS was eradicated throughout the world? Likewise, if obesity and depression stabilised within the Western world, with happy skinny types living disease-free? The world would soon forget corporations like you, who provide us with much needed pharmaceuticals. It would be such a loss, because you've done such a great service to communities the world over...
...like building a monopoly around HIV/AIDS treatment. After all, Diflucan deserves to be the only such medicine available to the third world. How dare they request inferior generic brands of fluconazole! Those cheap bastards. Luckily, you haven't let that happen in other third world countries. Say, have you seen Ricky Gervais' new DVD 'Politics'? He makes a funny comment about investing in Oxfam: because you'll always have famine! Ha! Lol! But seriously, you should look into that. Monsanto are making a killing!
Hey, do I detect your detection of sarcasm? How dare I criticise such a benign corporation :( After all, you received such a glowing report from the Human Rights Campaign. And gays usually represent the intellectual community, anyway. Now, why would those pesky Canadians go and make a mockery of your well-rounded employees by making them look like unintelligent white collared clowns in 'The Corporation'? They were just trying to demonize large corporations. Such a predictable lefty thing to do. And you know that film-makers like that only do it to appear worldly and 'PC'. Whatever that is. Ugh, I think I'll leave it to Public Relations officers!
Love, A.
"Pfizer collects personally identifiable information, such as names, addresses, E-mail addresses and the like, only when voluntarily provided by a website visitor. We will notify you as to the uses we intend to make of that information." (Privacy statement about personally identifiable information.)
http://www.pfizer.com/pfizer/mn_privacy.jsp
"Never in history has scientific research provided as much hope for curing some of the most complex medical problems. Yet, some 40,000 die each day of preventable diseases that go untreated because of the lack of affordable drugs and strong healthcare delivery systems. Of the 15,000 people each day diagnosed with HIV/AIDS, some 95% live in developing countries, where the cost of medicines is beyond the reach of patients and public health budgets."
(Oxfam International Report: http://www.oxfamamerica.org/newsandpublications/press_releases/archive2001/art655.html)