Big fuck-off rant # 238976
There is an ambivalence I feel about about being without money. On the one hand, I couldn't afford nice coffee for this very shift, so I have to exist in relative coffee squalor, using instant to tide me over until morning. Also, I realised that public transport does still require some coinage, of which I have none until Thursday. The other side of me enjoys the adventure of these consequences. Having 30 minutes to walk to the RAH (usually a 45 minute walk), I scrambled together my comfortable shoes, some fruit and muesli bars for the night, and set off in the dark. It wasn't until reaching the aquatic centre (15 minutes into the walk) that I noticed how much mood-augmentation the scenery caused me. Nature really does become my source of civilising serotonin, diffusing all of the neuroses one might be going through walking by oneself on their way to work. And then the music. Suddenly The Arcade Fire's 'Tunnels' demanded one more notch from my appreciation cortex, and I found myself on the verge of tears. It was quite odd, really. After 40+ listens to this song, it is a brisk walk among one of Adelaide's much-rumoured 'rape-parks' that did it for me. My steps became synchronised with the snare, and the swirl of organs and guitars - with that hint of feedback - became too much for this self.
It really hit me at that time that progressive music really is the most gratifying type. (Objectively? Ha.) Its the delay of gratification that makes it all the more sweeter. And I think that's a comment on the nature of pop music and the incessant ADD-addled (ADDled?) junkies of instantaneous id-pleasure. I think post-rock is exactly what our generation needed, the exercise in restraint, and the ability to witness the beauty in patience and the intensity of progression. But this thought led back to another I have pondered before.
I am well aware of this 'superiority' I feel over the 'proles' that exist outside of my sub-culture. And this gives me a somewhat distaste as I walk along with my headphones. As much as I enjoy the music and the aforementioned excitement about my music being heard by others, I dislike this feeling of isolation. The sentiment that everyone is missing out on this, and that they would never understand. But every sub-culture does that. They have evolved to serve that very function. A very ingroup-outgroup bias exists, sheltering those inside whilst alienating them from the world outside of it. A form of prejudice. Not that I haven't been guilty for this music-ism previously (isn't that the whole purpose of Radiohead for a 16 y.o?), but it's the realisation that it does no good. I am not convincing anyone outside of my collective. I am essentially forming a boundary that I don't really want, as it shuts me off from external possibility. The increase in human desensitisation that occurs as population increases (environmental psych theory of larger cities and 'bystander apathy') would have to correlate with the rise of more subcultures that cater for increasing constructed sectors and categories of socialisation, making it harder for one to reach out randomly and explore anything outside of their sector. To me, it seems that Adelaide is too small to satify ones social exploratory needs within just one sector, one mode of socialisation.
Fuck. Even I get sick of this. Far too ranty. I just had to throw it out there, though. I'm not saying these are original thoughts, I just wanted to know how others try to deal with that. I suppose Adelaide is too small to ever have sharply defined categories, and hence even us 20-somethings still wander into the Cranker on a Saturday night. Problem is, I just really don't enjoy it.
A.
It really hit me at that time that progressive music really is the most gratifying type. (Objectively? Ha.) Its the delay of gratification that makes it all the more sweeter. And I think that's a comment on the nature of pop music and the incessant ADD-addled (ADDled?) junkies of instantaneous id-pleasure. I think post-rock is exactly what our generation needed, the exercise in restraint, and the ability to witness the beauty in patience and the intensity of progression. But this thought led back to another I have pondered before.
I am well aware of this 'superiority' I feel over the 'proles' that exist outside of my sub-culture. And this gives me a somewhat distaste as I walk along with my headphones. As much as I enjoy the music and the aforementioned excitement about my music being heard by others, I dislike this feeling of isolation. The sentiment that everyone is missing out on this, and that they would never understand. But every sub-culture does that. They have evolved to serve that very function. A very ingroup-outgroup bias exists, sheltering those inside whilst alienating them from the world outside of it. A form of prejudice. Not that I haven't been guilty for this music-ism previously (isn't that the whole purpose of Radiohead for a 16 y.o?), but it's the realisation that it does no good. I am not convincing anyone outside of my collective. I am essentially forming a boundary that I don't really want, as it shuts me off from external possibility. The increase in human desensitisation that occurs as population increases (environmental psych theory of larger cities and 'bystander apathy') would have to correlate with the rise of more subcultures that cater for increasing constructed sectors and categories of socialisation, making it harder for one to reach out randomly and explore anything outside of their sector. To me, it seems that Adelaide is too small to satify ones social exploratory needs within just one sector, one mode of socialisation.
Fuck. Even I get sick of this. Far too ranty. I just had to throw it out there, though. I'm not saying these are original thoughts, I just wanted to know how others try to deal with that. I suppose Adelaide is too small to ever have sharply defined categories, and hence even us 20-somethings still wander into the Cranker on a Saturday night. Problem is, I just really don't enjoy it.
A.