Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their sweet time
Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their sweet time
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples'
carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other
shoppers you'll=20= invite them in if they'll bring in pillows
from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
'Why can't= you people just leave me alone?'
9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, &
and pick you= r nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the
clerk if he kno= ws where the anti- depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the
Mission Impossible theme.
12. In the auto department,
practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say
PICK ME!
14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the
fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
And; last, but not leas= t!)
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while;
and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples'
carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other
shoppers you'll=20= invite them in if they'll bring in pillows
from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
'Why can't= you people just leave me alone?'
9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, &
and pick you= r nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the
clerk if he kno= ws where the anti- depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the
Mission Impossible theme.
12. In the auto department,
practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say
PICK ME!
14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the
fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
And; last, but not leas= t!)
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while;
and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"