(no subject)
i'm enjoying my new tv. =)
playing mario on it is so damn awesome.
chris and i initiated it by watching "elizabethtown". such a queer movie, but it's really cute. *sigh* one of those, "gee, i wish that would happen to me..." movies.
marcos broke up with valerie, so we've been talking alot more. that's cool, it makes me happy. now we don't have to sneak around when we hang out or whatevs. i used to feel bad about that. poor girl. i mean, it's not like we did anything sexual, not even kiss, but the simple the fact that she didn't even know we were friends again is saddening. haha. fun times.
i made a new friend in my pre-cal class. well, actually, he started talking to me. but i'm kind of happy about it because i never make friends in my classes. well...i prefer not to. i like to keep to myself. but it's nice to have someone to walk me to class now, lols. he's pretty cool, and what not. we had alot in common, so that's what kept the convo going.
i'm in one of those confused states right now. like, hmm... i think i'm maturing and realizing what i have to do in life. or maybe it's just gas...
who knows. but it's not working out too well. it's totally pulling a 180 on things. everything that i wanted before doesn't appeal to me now. san antonio, a new car, stuff... and certain boys i guess. it's hard to deal with. like...i'm pushing all of this stuff away and find very logical and rational reasoning towards it all. it's hard to adjust to.
i guess it may have something to do with my grades or something. realizing that i'm actually doing well and getting a couple of A's here and there. realizing that i can actually do well. but i hate putting in effort.
see, i went from being an over acheiver to being me. that was around junior year. just, lame ole plain ole mo. laid back. didn't really give a fuck. recently...i'm actually starting to care... why? dammit. that just puts more pressure on me. i want to get things done on time. i want everything neat. i've actually been cleaning out my room. doing homework. i bought a tv. a tv? since when do i need a big tv in my room? i don't even have cable in there. just a dvd player and nintendo for it. not even basic channels...
what the hell? dammit.
hmm... i'm lost.
i guess what i'm trying to say mostly goes to ac. which i'm sure if he reads this, he won't get this far. in which case he might, here goes. "hey vato! that's right, i said it! VATO. sorry for fucking up... little queer mo is allllll fucked up right now. WAYYYYY too much on her mind. not good. not good at all. something i suppose you shouldn't be exposed to. things can get ugly, you know. maybe soon, i'll be back to my good ole self, but well, for now, i'm just silly right now. but don't get rid of porfirio. he's too cool for that. and you too. toooo cool. meh. that's all i guess. remember, i'm not good with words, and this is the only way i can put it. because i'm lame like that. what's up? mhmm..."
and i'm out.
<3
monica
playing mario on it is so damn awesome.
chris and i initiated it by watching "elizabethtown". such a queer movie, but it's really cute. *sigh* one of those, "gee, i wish that would happen to me..." movies.
marcos broke up with valerie, so we've been talking alot more. that's cool, it makes me happy. now we don't have to sneak around when we hang out or whatevs. i used to feel bad about that. poor girl. i mean, it's not like we did anything sexual, not even kiss, but the simple the fact that she didn't even know we were friends again is saddening. haha. fun times.
i made a new friend in my pre-cal class. well, actually, he started talking to me. but i'm kind of happy about it because i never make friends in my classes. well...i prefer not to. i like to keep to myself. but it's nice to have someone to walk me to class now, lols. he's pretty cool, and what not. we had alot in common, so that's what kept the convo going.
i'm in one of those confused states right now. like, hmm... i think i'm maturing and realizing what i have to do in life. or maybe it's just gas...
who knows. but it's not working out too well. it's totally pulling a 180 on things. everything that i wanted before doesn't appeal to me now. san antonio, a new car, stuff... and certain boys i guess. it's hard to deal with. like...i'm pushing all of this stuff away and find very logical and rational reasoning towards it all. it's hard to adjust to.
i guess it may have something to do with my grades or something. realizing that i'm actually doing well and getting a couple of A's here and there. realizing that i can actually do well. but i hate putting in effort.
see, i went from being an over acheiver to being me. that was around junior year. just, lame ole plain ole mo. laid back. didn't really give a fuck. recently...i'm actually starting to care... why? dammit. that just puts more pressure on me. i want to get things done on time. i want everything neat. i've actually been cleaning out my room. doing homework. i bought a tv. a tv? since when do i need a big tv in my room? i don't even have cable in there. just a dvd player and nintendo for it. not even basic channels...
what the hell? dammit.
hmm... i'm lost.
i guess what i'm trying to say mostly goes to ac. which i'm sure if he reads this, he won't get this far. in which case he might, here goes. "hey vato! that's right, i said it! VATO. sorry for fucking up... little queer mo is allllll fucked up right now. WAYYYYY too much on her mind. not good. not good at all. something i suppose you shouldn't be exposed to. things can get ugly, you know. maybe soon, i'll be back to my good ole self, but well, for now, i'm just silly right now. but don't get rid of porfirio. he's too cool for that. and you too. toooo cool. meh. that's all i guess. remember, i'm not good with words, and this is the only way i can put it. because i'm lame like that. what's up? mhmm..."
and i'm out.
<3
monica