(no subject)
I think I need to stop fantasizing. My heart is starting to become delusional. Stupid stupid thing, wanting things it shouldn't want, that aren't even actually real. I'm not sure I know how to stop, though. It's kind of just become habit to let my mind wander and imagine "what if...?"
I need a boyfriend. Isn't gonna happen, but I know if I had one that this would stop. I wouldn't need to do it anymore.
It hurts realizing the person he's become. I miss the person he used to be. I think he tried so hard to find acceptance that he lost himself along the way. I don't love this new person. I don't respect him. I loved the old him. Maybe not the way I should have, but I did truly love him. But, then, according to him, I never really knew the real him anyway. Supposedly this materialistic wannabe man-whore is the real him... I personally think that all those stupid rap songs caused some sort of brain malfunction.
I need a boyfriend. Isn't gonna happen, but I know if I had one that this would stop. I wouldn't need to do it anymore.
It hurts realizing the person he's become. I miss the person he used to be. I think he tried so hard to find acceptance that he lost himself along the way. I don't love this new person. I don't respect him. I loved the old him. Maybe not the way I should have, but I did truly love him. But, then, according to him, I never really knew the real him anyway. Supposedly this materialistic wannabe man-whore is the real him... I personally think that all those stupid rap songs caused some sort of brain malfunction.