Realizations sometimes are hard!
You know, when a big, flashing neon light is placed in front of it, you can't ignore it. I'm going to do something that I have been delaying for a long time. I've finally realized that I'm not accepted, needed, or even loved at the place I'm attending weekly. I'm laying down myself and putting God in front of me as my shield. I've been through too much alone, by choice. I've neglected the fact that God is there and will help me when I ASK!! I have to ask for his help. Well, I'm asking now... begging! I don't want to put these friends behind me, but it's what I have to do. It's what God's telling me to do. I've been hurt by them too many times. I've wanted to retaliate so badly. Their actions speak a whole lot louder than their words. Their words are useless... worthless... lies!! I've been reflected on life the past few days because I've been spending more time with friends here that really accept me for me. I've had some of the most fantastic evenings this past week with my roomie, suitemates, and campus friends. That flashing neon light has been on for so long that I put it out of view. I can't ignore it now.... I"m going to act! I give up on them! I don't want to be of the world; I want to be of God and light the world. They are holding me back from things far better than this. I'm not a door mat; I'm a princess! I am a Princess because my Father is the King of Kings!
Goodbye to the devilish looks, the piercing words, the stabs in the back, and the lies of them!! I'm moving on! I have a better place out there waiting on me and I'm going to find it. I don't need their "RICHES" because God will award me mine if I do his work and allow him to rule me, not them. GOODBYE!!!
Thanks roomie for helping me find out where I need to be and who I need to be with. I luv you! :) You are the greatest!